Aibu to try and overturn my son’s permanent exclusion

I really wouldn’t bother appealing, I would instead put all my energy into engaging with the behaviour unit / PRU staff, and help them to help your son to turn things around. I think you’ll be surprised when you see the support they have on offer there compared to in a mainstream school. Tell them what your son has been through and what you’ve all been through as a family. They specialise in helping kids like your boy who have had adverse childhood experiences (ACES). A year or so ago there was a story of a kid who went from a PRU to Oxford university, thanks to the support he’d had there. This doesn’t need to be the end for your son’s life chances. But right now a mainstream school is not the place for him. Wish you all good luck

I'll reiterate, you don't need legal representation. You do urgently need to speak to the local authority if you haven't already done so because you have a right to take someone to the meeting with you. This doesn't need to be a legal person. The meeting isn't to prove something, its to make sure that the correct process has been followed.
It's got nothing to do with the governors meeting who the other boys parents are etc, please don't go down that rabbit hole. It's not relevant that it was a weaker teacher or a supply teacher. As an example, I recently attended a governors panel as a local authority representative because a young person made a paper dart and threw it at a teacher, young person had a history of persistent disruptive behaviour. The school only have to prove that they have followed their policies and the statutory guidance from the DfE. It really isn't any concern of yours what happens to the other boy, annoying and frustrating as it is.
Your questions to the panel should focus on whether the school has followed their policies and your son's remorse at this situation.

Yes it really isn't
We are generally VERY sympathetic to parents and DC who are in front of us, often to the annoyance of The School but I am also very aware of keeping other pupil safe while getting the child concerned the best support available.

@ThatRealBlueQuoter

Well done for getting away from your ex! Managing the harm from it is always hard.

Do get whatever Domestic abuse support you can for you and your son.

Counselling is a good start, but to be honest, it sounds like he has PTSD, he needs trauma work. He may well be angry, but I think there’s more to it than that.

In terms of appealing, not sure to be fair, go with what other previous posters have said.

Good luck, you have a tough journey ahead of you!

Please ensure that your son isn't responding to any messages from the other boy

A governors panel isn't the school Vs the parent. The parent and child are encouraged to attend, statements are given etc. OP doesn't need legal representation for this meeting.

Honestly, I believe you and your family would be better supported if your son just went to the PRU. Fresh start for him, more support for the family, much more used to dealing with children from very complex circumstances.

Good luck with it all.

Please go and view & talk to the Center they want him to go to before making up your mind . These places do great work & usually have therapeutic facilities. Class sizes are usually 5 Kids but no more than 10 . He will take exams & go to college in September. You can ask the school for alternative provision where they send work home & he is allowed to take exams . Talk to your local council

I completely disagree and think you're talking nonsense.

What is it that you think teachers were previously accountable for that they aren't now?

How are teachers complacent? Behaviour has deteriorated since COVID. Teachers are at increased risk of physical violence. It's hard to be complacent when you can't even be sure that you'll go home without bruises.

Staff that I know have bucket loads of empathy. Hence we don't exclude the kids who are biting us, because we know that their actions are a result of their needs.

As for rigour - some teaching is less rigorous than a decade ago. That's because the students can't cope with that level of rigour. They start school barely able to speak or wipe their bottoms, so we need to start there before teaching our rigorous phonics programme and the rest.

Exclusion rates are at an all time high and I think this is symptomatic of a failing education system that has lost its sense of rigour and empathy.

I work with younger children and see scratching, biting, a child being pushed causing a broken arm. How this is handled is extremely dependent on the ‘class’ of the child involved. One child facing suspension /another child doing the same thing but the incident being ‘hushed’.

I also think teachers are far, far more complacent and less accountable than a decade ago.

@ThatRealBlueQuoter

My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry for all you have been through. You are trying to do your very best for your son and I think you need to weed out the comments that are not coming from a place of kindness or empathy.

From what I gather:

1. this is the first instance (although extreme) - was medical treatment needed?
2. your son was provoked? Violence has never been directed towards anyone else?
3. you say the other boy involved was son of an MP, but has faced no further sanctions and is continuing to harass your son? I’d argue possible discrimination here (if roles were reversed would the other boy be facing exclusion)? I’d take evidence of continued harassment along to the meeting and highlight that your son is not engaging with this. Subconscious bias - class/race is very much present in our society. If you are willing to share your background in the meeting - I think it’s important that the school are aware of your circumstances.
4. Scrutinise the schools behaviour policy. I bet this happened in a class with one of the school’s weaker teachers.
5. The steps you will take to ensure it doesn’t happen again. What your son would like to do for the future and the qualifications he would like to achieve. Perhaps something written by your son?

It concerns me that you’ll go into this meeting where it’s just you v the school/governors. I think you need an advocate and I’d investigate this. I know some Legal Aid education solicitors (if they take new cases) if you want to PM me?

You need to screen shot those messages and take them to the police and the school. That is a totally different topic to whether you can appeal the permanent exclusion and needs to be dealt with as harassment

I'm not going to sugar coat it - you've been through a lot. Your circumstances and the examples you as adults set for your son has led to his anger and the way he protects himself. He is a victim here and needs support- from that basis you owe it to him to do everything you can to help him get counselling and a school place.
But ot also seems you are struggling to cope. Good on you for getting away and starting over - it's done now so nothing you can change but why on earth would you have 5 kids with an abusive father like that - you've let yourself and your kids down for a long time. You are taking control back by leaving - now step up further and fight for them to give them all the support they never had

It sounds like he's going through an awful lot and needs specialist education where he and others around him are kept safe. I think you'd be unwise to fight against that.

I work in a PRU, not all are bad 😉
You can appeal, but likely to be a lengthy process where there won't be time for him to go back. I'm not saying this would definitely be the case, but I've seen it more than once.
You could be better off going to the PRU but asking for support to access his other GCSE subjects as a lot of the PRU schools won't be able to put in for the exams it may need to come from his excluding school but work with the schools to find out 😊

I would not want my child in a class with someone as violent. How could the school be more supportive in reality? They are already under funded and their purpose is mainly to educate, not council/sort behavioural issues out. PRU has much better provision/settings for children with difficulties like your son, which will in turn better protect his peers.

If my son had been punched in the head 4 times I would be reporting it to the police. Understanding only goes so far and permits so much.

Horrific situation you’ve all been in, but the best course of action is to address his behaviour now above all else because if you ‘get him out of it’, what does this teach him? He’s on a waiting list for help - he literally isn’t getting any help and so becomes a ticking time bomb when he explodes again the next time something triggers him.

Good luck OP. I do empathise but think managing his mental health and behavioural issues should be the biggest focus over appealing right now.

No, your son doesn’t have to turn out like his father. His father may or may not be a product of his environment. Some people are born with low empathy and can be violent.

Regarding the exclusion did the victim suffer an injury eg. Detached retina, facial fractures? If he did or has ongoing health problems focus on making a good relationship with the PRU.

Any appeal is about fact and culpability. Be glad help is available. And of course commenters don’t know your son. What they do know is how schools make decisions and that young men need investment in positive groups.