Aibu to try and overturn my son’s permanent exclusion

@ThatRealBlueQuoter

IPSEA - I can’t recommend them enough and they have a helpline. Try to phone them 9.30 on the dot.

https://www.ipsea.org.uk/permanent-exclusions

Exclusions are at a record high, and I’d read up on off-rolling.

The school act in the schools best interests and may break the law.

The law is ALWAYS the child’s best interests.

Please check your rights carefully. I do not trust schools, I do not trust the LA. I trust the law.

OK, so he have them a good excuse to exclude, which they jumped at.

Honestly don't worry about his record. Get him the support he needs, which he's far more likely to get in a specialist provision. They might even manage to get him maths and English passes.

The child who pulled the chair out from under DS? I'm not sure I'd be too worried about him either.

I have sympathy for your son, I suffer ptsd myself, but from the schools perspective, he is a risk. The other boy is no less injured because it was an understandable trigger.

Their responsibility is to keep all students safe. Not all except one who pulled an (idiotic) prank. It was a really stupid and dangerous thing to do but it didn't merit the reaction it got. They can't keep someone so easily triggered in mainstream school, it just isn't safe.

You seem very concerned about your son's welfare and whether he has done right or wrong but not so much of the child who was punched in the face four times. How is he? Did he need hospital treatment? Will he have any lasting (physical) damage? Does he need psychological support? Your son needs some serious intervention and fast and trying to plead trauma and special treatment is not the way to address this. I can't imagine how the other boy and his family must be feeling, but i can fully understand why the head would need your son to be out of the school immediately to protect all the other pupils. You need to wake up as your son is on the same path as his father without some heavy weight intervention. The head teacher is responding appropriately and proportionately, you are not.

I have no advice regarding appealing the exclusion but just wanted to say I’m sorry for what you and your children have gone through. It sounds traumatising. I hope you’re all receiving support and that the man in question is in prison.

Setting aside the question of whether the exclusion was appropriate and whether a PRU would be beneficial, I just wanted to query your OP where you implied that he was first giving a 5 day suspension then it was changed to a permanent exclusion. Is this correct or have I misunderstood?

If so you need to carefully look at the legal guidance for exclusions as you may have grounds for an appeal on that basis as this should not happen except in exceptional circumstances (usually new evidence).

When you say in this school do you mean he has a history of violence at previous schools because if he has then a PRU is the best place for him

Do you have pictures of your son‘s injuries? I think it is very relevant that physical altercation was started by the other lad. Definitely don‘t describe it as a prank when you discuss it with the school.

Seeing what triggered his reaction, I’d seriously consider EMDR. It’s great for PTSD and trauma and your ds fits right in.

How is he academically OP?. IME the only Yr 11 students to get excluded are those who won't look great on their results...

@ThatRealBlueQuoter I’m slightly confused, did he have 5 day suspension which then became a permanent exclusion?

Find out what services your nearest PRU offers. It will probably be far more than his ms school has.

Look at it this way: your son has een damaged by his father. Referral to a PRU will give him the opportunity to be awau y from a busy high-pressured place where he cannot control himself.

He'll have the opportunity to learn how to regulate his anger & his OTT response to being bullied - or teased (not sure which).

He's going to need to learn this for his life chances. Punching someone four times in the face is a way over the top reaction to being bullied or pranked.

Referral to a PRU and maybe some counselling or exposure to positive male role models could be the saving of him. He needs something - whatever is happening at home and school is clearly stressing him to the point where he is criminally assaulting fellow students.

You need to see it from the schools perspective there will be many vunerable children in that school many who are witnessing violence at home everyday they should feel safe at school and should not be witnessing this level of violence

I'm really sorry, but a 15/16 year old punching someone 4 times is very serious. He's lucky that he didn't cause enough damage to be arrested/prosecuted.

Do you have social care involvement due to the previous DA OP?

If so, speak to them. They can help x

You aren't being unreasonable to ask. You want to do the best by your son. As many have says a PRU might be the quickest way to get him the help he needs. Get all the info you can and sell it to yourself and your son as being a good opportunity to reach various support networks

Once he is into post compulsory education, like an FE college, he can continue to access support and counselling via student services and counselling

In my area it would be unusual given the child’s back history and the fact they are in year 11.

I teach at a PRU. We do occasionally get students in year 11. We have onsite counsellor, very small classes and students will sometimes (particularly with the grammars) return to schools to sit exams.

I would also appeal (and make sure you have a copy of previous behaviour at school, any incidents at new or old provision) Anything you have available at your disposal to ‘prove’ case. Did you inform them of situation when he joined? Does he have trusted adult that could advocate for him? Is he sitting vocational courses that couldn’t be replicated at the PRU? Did you specifically ask for counselling? Was he placed at new school (in year access) or did you find place?

At the same time get as much information about the PRU as possible. Is it local? What do they offer? How many students become NEET afterwards etc.

Their right he is to much of a risk. He needs mental health help.

I do agree with other posters though that it is extreme for a school to go straight to PEX if they're taking into account his history. You may succeed with an appeal, but I think in your shoes, I'd be pushing for the exclusion to be removed from his record but still support a move to a specialist environment with trauma informed staff.

IME (18 years teaching) he will get more help quicker if hes excluded. It makes people sit up and take notice.
Good luck