Aibu to try and overturn my son’s permanent exclusion

The bully? Oh you mean the other child involved in what the OPdescribes as two boys messing about “ for a joke”.

Just as well some poor innocent kid trying to get on with their learning who was unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity of two kids “messing about for a joke” and got hurt.

I don't know on what grounds you can appeal - the school will rightly say that your son presents a grave risk to other pupils and staff and they may feel that they don't have the resources or training to manage the risk and give your son the support he needs.

I have worked in a PRU and it may be that it is a better setting for your son. Staff are trained in therapeutic management of behavioural and emotional difficulties and the young people are usually taught in small groups of 6 of so. Staff will work with them to develop their own behaviour management strategies and they are able to build on their own skills and interests. I hope your son gets the help that he needs 💐

Ffs his dad strangled him until he passed out and cracked his head open. What support is there for abused kids? Don't make this about @ThatRealBlueQuoter parenting. Wake up. The whole family have been abused and need help.

I personally think the school is wrong. The cause of this was the kid your DS hit. He has now learnt a very valuable lesson and frankly no one would mess with your DS. He isn't a risk, the AHs that bully people, like the lad your DS punched are the risks. I'd appeal it.

Good luck x

When I was at school a girl broke her neck when a chair was pulled out

it’s not a stupid prank, it is well known to be an extremely dangerous thing to do, and is done with the malicious intent to cause harm

nor excusing OPs son, but why is everyone excusing the other boy?

If you read the first post the OPs child and the other child were both messing about in the class as , so the OP says, “ as a joke”. Hmm. New school, barely at half term and he is messing about in class as a joke.

The OP also says this was the first problem “in this school” which makes me wonder if there were other problems in previous school/s. The new school will of course have been notified if there were, which is why I think the OP is so worried about this reputation following her son.

Sounds like a place in a PRU is the best place for him, he will have access to help and guidance from teachers well versed in dealing with the awkward squad, ie violent and out of control pupils, and it could be the making of her child.

You’ve done a really amazing thing getting yourself and your children somewhere safe.

A PRU really isn’t the end of the world or a bad thing, if he does go to a PRU he will be able to access specialist support, he will also have much smaller class sizes and study fewer subjects which increases his chances of gaining his maths and english language GCSE. As he does find school a challenge has he been assessed for access arrangements? He may also benefit from them, such as rest breaks.

There are horrible people in all areas of life, if he was provoked by someone in town etc he could end up in a police cell, or hospital himself. He has at the moment almost made a safe mistake. Its something he can’t afford to happen again, so please see this as his new chance, it doesn’t need to be thought of as a failure as via a PRU it could open up some good opportunities for him. It may also be less worry for you that its going to happen again at school.

I know nothing about school processes. As a layperson I would have assumed his history of abuse might be relevant and therefore permanent exclusion might not be the first step, however if:

-he’s only just moved to the school
-he has no positive history/rapport there
-he doesn’t have good grades
-he needs a lot of support

I can see why the school doesn’t want your son there, not in a horrible way to your family, but operationally the school probably feels they can’t offer the support he needs and are using the exclusion as a convenient way out. Plus if your son’s attack caused bloodshed etc to the other pupil, I can imagine staff/other pupils might not feel comfortable being around the potential level of violence. No one is going to vouch for your son there.

From what other posters have said, the school is within their rights to do this? But you can always seek legal advice or go to citizen’s advice to be sure. Sometimes you have legal cover as part of your home insurance.

I’d just add that whilst I feel sorry that your son was attacked by his dad, I do think he needs support to not lash out at others. In the grand scheme of his life, it’s not a big deal if he takes an extra year to get his GCSEs. It seems like even if he stayed in school, he’s going to struggle to get passing grades this year from what you’ve said? So overall at the moment, your priority should be getting mental health and anger management support so your son doesn’t lash out again as next time, he might end up in the criminal system. It’s a really delicate thing to navigate.

It sounds like he has experienced a lot of trauma in his life. Possibly, not clear from your OP, for much of his life. And yes, absolutely, that will alter how he reacts. If the trauma started relatively young, his brain will be literally wired differently. But the thing is, that still doesn't make it okay. The other kid was an utter pillock, but pretty well within the bounds of what 15 year old pillocks do. And if your son had punched him once, the same would probably apply. But repeatedly punching him in the face is the sort of thing that honestly would be more commonly managed by the police than just the school. Your son desperately needs any help going to start modifying his response before he gets himself in so much more trouble, with a trauma response in public, and ends up locked up, in a spiral downwards. Which might well mean a PRU. And your other children are likely to need help too.

I am so glad that you have managed to get out, but sadly that is only the very beginning of the healing process.

it is standard that a school starts with a 5 day suspension; then moves to PEX if deemed suitable. It is meant to save snap decisions.
If he is yr 11; he is very unlikely to go to another school. A PRU will
focus on his key GCSEs and also support him emotionally and with college applications. If he is genuinely interested in education he could thrive there.
If your son can’t help hit someone repeatedly if he bangs his head, he simply can’t be safe can he. He’s shown what he’ll do and you are literally saying ‘he can’t help it he’d do it again’. In the street it would be assault.

You always have a right of appeal. But it's whether you will win it. I have been on exclusion appeals and the criteria is very tight. Did we follow our policy? Did we follow county policy? Did we follow national policy? However sad the circumstances we can not diverge from that.

You might want to appeal anyway just to find peace you tried. Look at how this would delay the PRU start. Find out if the PRU will be until he finishes this phase of education for some stability. PRUs can be very good. They can also be full of scary kids and traumatic places. But you have very little control now.

It's never something that anyone wants.

I have a few thoughts:

• His needs aren't being supported. Whether he stays at the current school or moves, he needs therapy to support him moving on from the trauma he has experienced
• Don't sign anything. Having an exclusion "on the record" is a problem for the school, not for your son. They are trying to exclude without the local authority knowing, and that's not a good sign
• If you do appeal, ask what was in place to support his SEN. He definitely has SEN, as a result of part trauma, and should have had some support

Other posters are applauding the head for taking decisive action to exclude, but I'm more worried about the long-term consequences. Wherever he is at school, he needs support so that he learns to control his anger and never hurts someone like this again.

Yes it’s worth appealing but be aware that a panel could only recommend the decision for reconsideration at the most. It will likely be heavy going. I’d ask if the school were aware of your son’s experiences and did they support him in any way?

I agree both were in the wrong. What I disagree with is your claim that the chair thing was a "premeditated assault". There is absolutely nothing in the OP to support this, in fact the OP just makes it sound like 2 stupid boys going too far when messing about and then the OP's son seriously overreacting.

Swinging on a chair is a bit different though. The movement causes the chair to tip backwards so the child then smacks their head on the floor. Pulling someone's chair out would typically cause them to fall on their arse. I would be more concerned about spinal damage than a head injury from that. And I don't expect a teenage boy who is messing about with his mate to be thinking about either.

Sorry I don't quite follow the series of events.

At the permanent exclusion panel did you not have the opportunity to speak? Was everything not laid out to you and the events described in the rationale behind the exclusion? What did the governing body say?

Or have you not got that far along the process yet? If you haven't then you're not really at the point of being able to appeal.

However, what I will say is that I've not known of an exclusion for very violent behaviour being overturned. The school have a duty of care to all pupils and whilst I understand you being upset for your son, and justifying his violent outburst, that justification probably matters very little to the boy he attacked.

Did anything like this happen in previous schools then?

School govenor here who has done far to many exclusion panels in the last year.

So. In my schools your son would get an automatic exclusion for punching someone 4 times. It would class as a serious breach of the behaviour policy.

The next issue is whether it would do harm to others in school staff & students to have him return. I think you could argue here if the victim kid is teasing him that it wouldn't be such an issue. But I personally would be looking at where it happened, who else was watching and their reaction- e.g. fearful yr7s onlooking vs 1 other yr 11 who know them both well. And the impact on any staff who had to deal with the incident.

There is then the issue of SEND and I think you could argue your sons history here assuming school are aware - and thus could mitigate.

Finally there is the issue of his impending public examinations. If by excluding him he would not be able to sit those examinations there is an issue.

That's an appeal. And it would be a fight. My gut instinct going only on what you have said clearly is that I would not seek to overturn the heads decision in this instance.

In terms of what you do now... what are they asking for a signature on? Is it a managed move? I.e. moving your child to a neighbouring school to give him a fresh start? That - if there is a named school that would take him at this point - I would definately consider. I dont know what else they could be asking you to sign.

Your next steps needs to be governed by what your sons aims for the future and and what GCSE's he might get this year - and would be capable of if he took a step back and retried next year. I'd actually contact your local sixth form college who will do GCSE+ which is resits - and see what they suggest he does to get in from next September and reset himself.

Flip this scenario around and imagine another student punched your son in the head 4 times. How would you feel considering the situation you have described and your son being triggered by head injuries due to the abuse he has received? I would imagine you would be wanting a similar punishment for that child. So no, I don’t think you should appeal, the school have done the right thing. As his mum, you should be getting him some support, not using his experience as justification for his behaviour. Your son has learnt the hard way that actions have consequences. Hopefully this will make him think about being violent in the future.

Idk if it’s true, it is what the heads PA told me . The Sch gets charged 10k to exclude . Apparently the cost is in place as a deterrent . Permanent exclusion to be the very last option

Both were in the wrong, to my mind.

I've seen someone being knocked out in a classroom after falling off their chair - we had to phone an ambulance. (It was self-inflicted - the kid had ignored my warning not to swing on the chair.) It's a wonder that the OP's son wasn't badly hurt.

I do think your son does need to be in a trauma informed supportive environment that mainstream can't offer but I don't have sympathy for the other boy who actually set out with the intention to hurt someone else in a way which could also have been very serious.

I think this is a stretch given the OP's son and this lad were messing about together throughout the lesson. More like two stupid teenage boys egging each other on and finding it funny until they didn't.

It could have broken the son's neck but less likely than the 4 punches to the head causing significant damage.

I'm wondering whether the other child was excluded? He's pleading that it was a 'prank', it appears?

To my mind it was a premeditated assault which could have broken his victim's neck.

Council can’t do that. If you mean that the pupil’s funding follows them to the new school, then that’s completely different.

It’s a really difficult situation, but it sounds like he wasn’t coping in mainstream school for now. People can die from being punched. Do you want your son in that kind of situation again? He clearly needs to be in a more supportive environment.

oops sorry