Aibu to try and overturn my son’s permanent exclusion

I also sit on PEX panels and independent review panels and disagree, - even if it was for a one off offence, mitigating circumstances would need to be evident of informing the Head teacher decision. Converting from a suspension to a PEX is also no longer allowed unless the school tells you it is based on new information in the investigation and it must be compelling information

and no school should ever tell a parent if they sign a form it won’t go on permanent record

unfortunately the provisions within a PRU vary widely across the country - there is absolutely no guarantee that the support your son needs will be available via a PRU

Not going to comment on the exclusion but the other kid could have done a permanent injury on him too! Pulling a chair so he fell and banged his head is premeditated, at best to cause embarrassment at worst to cause injury. He also needs a severe punishment

op I’m glad you got away from you’re ex. You’re very brave

hopefully your son gets the help he needs and deserves ( ps could his anger be a physical issue from brain trauma?)

@Watfordwoman that is what I am confused about.

From my understanding - the school hasn’t followed the correct procedures- please appeal - in the guidance it is clear that a suspension should not be followed by a permanent exclusion unless very clear and strict processes are followed - they can not also get you to sign a letter to avoid the PEX to be on file - the school must inform the local authority (for an academy or maintained school) this is national guidance - it seems they want your son out and will frame it as you agreeing to a managed move to a PRU.

if you want more info, please get in touch - please appeal if you are within timescale - disgusting behaviour from the school

@ThatRealBlueQuoter can you give a timeline of correspondence and meetings since day of incident? Have you been given details yet of the panel meeting?

Fucking hell, this is a laundry list of excuses. He jumped up and punched someone in the head 4 times because he had a concussion, what a daft suggestion. As to learning some "marginally safer" ways to respond to triggers, do you mean punch someone twice instead of 4 times?!? And claiming he felt his life was threatened because the boy he was messing about with pulled his chair away from him. What an utter joke. It wasn't self defence and there is no evidence he was afraid for his life.

This lad has clearly suffered a great deal being a victim of assault from his dad and being raised in a home with dv. It does him no favours if the adults in his life were to take this kind of minimising approach, ignoring his violent outbursts and worst telling lies to justify them.

I think your son punching the lad who pulled his chair out is reasonable. But, maybe not four times.

I wonder if the school would have excluded him for a single punch? I hope not.

The other lad assaulted your son. I hope he has been excluded.

Had he hit the idiot who caused him to fall once then it would probably have been treated differently, six and two threes. Both boys did wrong and should be punished, possibly the other boy being held more at fault but he hit him a number of times and that cannot be condoned.

They have to hold a panel meeting of Governors + clerk that you need to attend. It is very possible that his previous injuries and your living situation could represent SEND and those needs have not been met. After the panel, if they uphold the decision, confirm immediately in writing that you wish to appeal and go to independent review.

He should have a place at alternative provision by the 6th day of absence due to permanent exclusion, arranged by the local authority as it is their responsibility to do so.

Whilst I am not suggesting that he must go back to the school or that the school are acting in any way improperly, by following the process and stating that you require an Independent SEND expert, this maximises the opportunity for him to be assessed for effects of his horrible attack(s), any preexisting SEND that had been missed and PTSD/cPTSD. And it's your right to appeal, so do so.

Geez. One punch is enough to kill someone. He needs to go to a PRU and learn emotional regulation skills.

@ThatRealBlueQuoter Im in no way condoning what my son has done

I am.

Yeah. It creates more violent men who end up murdering women.

Anyone replying on here who has no idea what impact adverse childhood experiences like domestic violence have - should just shut up and take their judgemental comments elsewhere

Things have changed a lot since my school days, if punching someone who pulled your chair, out causing you to fall and hit your head, is considered an "extreme" reaction. Wh**at did the boy expect to happen?

If a woman pulled her husband’s chair out as a joke and he hit his head and he punched her four times in the face, would your stance be the same?

Was your son assessed for concussion after he hit his head? There's an argument that in reacting in the immediate aftermath of a head injury he didn't really know what he was doing so bears much less responsibility for it than he would otherwise. Can't sensibly punish somebody for behaviour they're doing because of an injury.

Yes, life for your son will be easier when he learns marginally safer ways to respond to triggers but I can't imagine any jury rejecting self defence in his circumstances - it looks like he thought there was a threat to his life. Using enough force to incapacitate somebody can be reasonable when you're afraid for your life.

Four punches - I wouldn't exaggerate the significance of this. I think every fight I witnessed at school involved at least that amount of violence (admittedly when I was at school knives weren't a thing - it was punching/ kicking)

Maybe rework your thinking - the school that jumps to permanent exclusion for an otherwise well integrated Year 11 is behaving terribly and maybe isn't the right place. It is hard nowadays to get permanent exclusions overturned.

He punched the boy FOUR times in the face.

Nope. One was a malicious dick (and continues to be so) and also has the potential to be dangerous , as demonstrated by OP’s son hitting his head.

I would appeal. Definitely not as simple as has anger issues.
Plus a kid in my school pulled a chair as someone was sitting down. They hit their chin on the table as they fell and bite off a chunk of their tongue. Its really dangerous thing to do .

I can see why they made that decision and don't know if they could possibly do anything but permanently exclude your son, but I do have sympathy for your son. That is truly terrible what happened to him and he is a victim in all of this as well.

Because one has been a stupid dick and the other is a real danger

If another child punched my child four times, I wouldn’t want them going to school alongside them and I don’t think you would either. He’s lucky the police aren’t involved. I’d just try and get him his gcses.

You know how you, rightly, left your abuser and would never want to have to see him again? Well, that’s how your son’s victim feels.

So you’d be happy for a kid who punched another child 4 times in the head / face to remain in your DC’s school?

We’re not currently taking about the other child’s punishment but there is quite a big difference between a stupid prank going wrong and unrestrained violence.

I think if you think this is the best school for your son then you should appeal. The worst that can happen is they say no. I would not get your sons hopes up.

Get all the policy documents and make sure they have followed procedures to the letter. Then follow the appeals procedure.

If you son isn’t in counselling he needs to be.