To find the homeschooling fad really braggy

I will never ever be convinced that HE is in the best interests of the vast majority of children. I accept SEN can have some impact so would never say this is universally true but school gives children so much more than HE can and I don't mean just academically.

Part of this is resilience which involves sticking at something that's hard through difficult times. It's not surprising that most kids have times when they don't like school and would rather quit, in the same way that many of us feel like that about our careers at times. Perseverance often pays off though or potentially moving to another school/workplace but just jacking it all on altogether robs you of so much in the medium/long term.

Friendships that are formed in the unique conditions of school that are never replicated again in quite the same way elsewhere. Sometimes they are forged during adversity but that's all part of it. Most people have friends from their school days soon and it's all part of the rich tapestry of life.

I also think it's a great social training ground for people. We make mistakes and do some pretty awful things but that's part of growing and maturing. There were absolutely days and weeks that I wanted to avoid going to school because of some social drama or awkward dynamic but I worked my way through it and picked up important skills along the way. Managing conflict, dealing with bitchiness and handling difficult people. It's hard and tough but I feel that these formative experiences are so important.

You simply don't get any of this in HE and I think that's why it's so appealing for adults and children. There is nothing worse as a parent than watching your child struggle and fail at things but it usually isn't the right thing to just whip them out of the situation. As a child or young person you live in the here and now and these things can feel like the end of the world when they're happening. HE can seem like a sanctuary but I think it's a mirage. It can't insulate you from society and life and we all have to cope in the end with challenging people and situations. Don't get me wrong, I don't think kids should stay at schools that aren't working for them and I absolutely think they should try out different schools if necessary. I just think HE is not equivalent to school and you lose so so much in comparison.

I admire their positive attitude. I can't think of anything more annoying than homeschooling.

It's not always adhd kids that are flexischooled!

We know school is not, and can’t be, one size fits all. Even with changes school will not work for a portion of children. I say this as someone whose DD had issues, school even mentioned HE to me, but I knew she needed to be with others as much as possible. HE would have fixed temporary issues but long term ruined her.
My issue is that the HE I’ve met act as if school is just a terrible choice for your child and why are you sending them. Because different choices work for different children, it’s not that your choice is more valid.
But they were also the ‘baking is maths’ type which means you aren’t really self aware to realise most parents are doing these things around school, you aren’t doing anything unique. The also didn’t believe there were any negatives in their choice, there will always be some, there are things your children miss, maybe the positives outweigh it, but it’s not a perfect choice, nothing can be. One of them did send her DD to school when she got a private school place, so clearly school actually wasn’t the issue, it was the type of school.

and how do you suggest the school manage?

Where do they "manage" to get the budget from exactly?

Teachers are there to teach a CLASS, that's what parents sign for. If you want private tutoring, pay for a private tutor - or find a private school who offers 1/1 classes if that even exists.

I don’t know where this myth has come from where there are drives of home edders whose entire teaching is sourced ‘in house’. I spent years home edding - I didn’t meet one single family where their teens weren’t involved in part time college/tutors/tutor groups/online schooling/ distance guided curriculums.

This is surely an issue for the school to manage since they are the ones in control of the terms of a part time timetable or flexischooling?
You're behaving as if 'poor teachers' are being forced against their will.

it's not just the "poor teachers", already over-worked, underpaid and left to deal with too much.

There's a recruitment crisis if you don't know about it, and when you see how many primary school classes , with 30 or 31 don't even have a full time TA, sometimes not even a TA full stop! It's outrageous.

As dedicated as a teacher can be, there are already 30 kids, with different levels, different needs, different issues.

You know why schools are crying for volunteer readers? Because calculate how long it takes if a teacher spends just 5 mn A WEEK reading with each child. And that's less than the basics in primary school, surely.

So no, it's not right to expect a child to go part-time (that's fine) AND expect the whole class to be put on hold to play catch-up. It's only acceptable when parents take responsibility and THEY do the catch-up - like most other parents are doing anyway when a child needs extra help for whatever reason.

There’s a YouTuber I subscribe to like this. I’ve subscribed / unsubscribed many times!!!
She’s got an only child who is either year 3 or 4 , provides a completely inadequate education but has lots of holidays out of reach to many of us!! Lots of very braggy videos about how great home ed life is. From what I’ve seen she also treats / talks about him like a preschooler or reception aged child emotionally/ developmentally which must be a type of emotional abuse but not enough for SS involvement! They were on a holiday and saw some churches and was saying it was of course all over his head, but he enjoyed it which surprised me because it shouldn’t have really been over his head! Maybe teaching style, or babying him - who knows.
The loudest quite often are trying to mask lack of education and/ or other issues. There are some more home educators in real life who aren’t so braggy and just crack on with it

Exactly. The one’s bragging on social media about how well their kids are doing at Cantonese are not the problem.

Its the ones where a parent has deregistered a child because they can’t manage getting them out of bed in the morning and convince themselves they learn “real maths” by going to the shop to buy fags.

The problem is the system can’t tell the difference.

This is true but those children are being seen by professionals who have safeguarding training and there is a known process for escalating concerns.

What's better for the "poor teachers"? Having a child with adhd who can focus for half a day who is then taken home, or a child with adhd who can focus for half the day and is then hopelessly distracted or dysregulated for the entire afternoon and can't get any work done?

Teachers aren't some innocent victims of these dastardly children by the way. They choose this job. Children generally don't get that luxury.

I only know one family that did it well - dad was a prof of medicine, mum a humanities teacher and even then they had specialist tutors for the GCSE years. And 1 of the 4 kids ended up in a normal secondary anyway.
They educated well / but I would still argue that the younger 3 weren’t socialised brilliantly, lots of time together rather than with peers which has left them quite ‘independent’ according to their parents - hard work to the rest of us!

Parents can request anything they like, schools are still in control.

I don't care if people chose to "home educate".

I actually know families, whose kids are now at prestigious university, who have been home educated by brilliant but very "strict" parents and there's no doubt their level of education and sport is highly superior. Funnily enough, they never "bragged" and barely mention home education. Homeschooling is like everything else, people who are useful, confident don't need to brag or lecture, or try to justify themselves.

It doesn't change that home education done properly is a huge commitment, in time and finance, and a luxury that most people couldn't afford even if they wanted to.

The "I am teaching maths by baking with my kid" nonsense doesn't cut it 😂. We all do that, or most of us do, and that's nowhere near enough to cover what they actually learn at school. Most, or a lot of kids, do all the trips, history, geography research, biology and learning and all the rest of it. That's not enough to call it "education". That's a normal childhood for most kids, who go to school and have working parents.

It's interesting that it's the ones who are on a permanent holiday who are the most vocal, most braggy and don't seem to actually achieve very much.

No amount of bragging from a homeschooler could ever make me (a) want their life (b) think their kids were anything other than closeted and missing out by not having the experience of school and friends

who are these bragging people anyway? Presumably online. Stop following them

how is that relevant?

When your child is at home all day and night, you can work any shift you like, that's still the same amount of hours when you are at work and not with them 😂

So it's full time childcare, and then on top of your full time shift work, you do full time education, and then you take the same amount of time any parent has to bring to clubs etc. Yes, I can see how that works

Devil’s advocate incoming. True but it’s also possible to socially isolate a child, especially an only child, put them in danger from abusive parents and so on. Do parents have to produce any kind of curriculum? is there any kind of annual progress monitoring?

Obviously it’s better and kinder for children struggling with the system but aspects of it concern me.

Most homeschoolers/unschoolers I have come across definitely have a faint smugness at best and a massive superiority complex at worst.
They either don’t realise or don’t care that by going on about how school is so very damaging for children etc etc they are insulting the majority of parents.

They seem to forget that it’s a massive privilege to be able to have one parent at home every day and it’s one most people can’t afford.

Your comments regarding social interactions also apply in the workplace? And many other situations not just school !!

I agree too many infiuencers removing kids because it doesn't fit with their lifestyles nothing to do with better education!

Because after a lot of research I feel it’s the best fit for her and us. Just as a parent who chooses a private school over state does- rarely would they try state first, they decide what they think is best for their child and family. This is just the same but less common so people aren’t used to it. Hopefully in time it will become more common and people won’t be as surprised.

Why not see if school suits her first before HE?

No, l thought it was a legal thing and that schools can refuse it onna case by case basis but parents have got the right to request it but l might be wrong.
In my experience, it's never for the kids' benefit - more to satisfy the parents' needs.

Kids that are educated outside a school aren't locked in rooms.

They still interact with their parents, siblings, extended families, people in the neighbourhood, people in extra-curricular activities, people at church or temple, people in shops, and so on.

Interactions in schools tend to be on the artificial side and it's not uncommon for them to be socially toxic. Bullying and other antisocial behaviours are common.

I home educated for a number of years, overall I found the kids in that community were very socially adept. They happily played with others, they were often really kind and inclusive of younger children or those with difficulties, they knew how to interact with adults they didn't know.