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Original poster

To tell boyfriend his physical habits are really grating on me?

40 replies

Conundrum85 · 20/10/2025 13:26

He clears his throat constantly and also bites his nails a lot , I find it particularly annoying if we are just chilling together and he does this as it makes it more noticeable. He never used to do it before, I think he's just letting his guard down now. It's seriously pissing me off.
Moreso because he never used to do it and now he does it, it's like he's got a bit too comfortable. Together just over a year but this has been happening the last month. I find them both unpleasant and off-putting.
Also he's great in every other way, so I don't want to lose him over this but I'm also silently seething when he does it which isn't good for me either. Help! What would you do?

OP posts:
user793847984375948 · 20/10/2025 18:42

Nah it is offputting and it sounds unbearable.

I'm glad I love being single because otherwise I'd put up with that because he's great in other ways if I wasn't. Years could be flushed down the drain. Anyway time for my wine and pizza.

nam3c4ang3 · 20/10/2025 14:07

Tell him then - be prepared for a comeback tho.

thisishowloween · 20/10/2025 13:48

Conundrum85 · 20/10/2025 13:45

Also I would definitely want to know if there were things I did that were off-putting to him

Then tell him, but be prepared for him to come right back at you with his own list.

Original poster
Conundrum85 · 20/10/2025 13:45

Also I would definitely want to know if there were things I did that were off-putting to him

OP posts:
CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 20/10/2025 13:43

Conundrum85 · 20/10/2025 13:31

@screenager he never did it before , it's just been the last month so obviously he can control it

The constant throat clearing can be a sign of a medical condition.
There are some of these which are brought on by acid-reflux.
Which can be a sign of hiatus hernia.

Nail-biting, habit perhaps, or a sign of stress.

So, maybe be concerned about him rather than annoyed, talk to him, and maybe persuade him to go see a GP.

INeedAnotherName · 20/10/2025 13:40

Conundrum85 · 20/10/2025 13:28

Also to add , he doesn't have a cold, the throat clearing seems to be a habit

Constant throat clearing can be a sign of silent reflux. Has he put on weight, or eaten spicy food, or has a lot of stress? All worth checking out first and it could be a win/win situation.

Then dunk his nails in nail biting solutions - some are utterly vile tasting, others only pretend to be vile. You could do that while he's asleep 😈

Original poster
Conundrum85 · 20/10/2025 13:40

@IvedoneitagainhaventI no , he has no idea how much they annoy me. I know he would probably want to know if something is making me find him unattractive. It's just a very awkward conversation to have an I don't know how he would react. Don't want to embarrass him but I'm also quietly suffering.

OP posts:
IvedoneitagainhaventI · 20/10/2025 13:37

Not that I'm excusing your bf but some people don't have to have a cold to need to clear their throats a lot. Allergies for instance can cause a feeling of excessive mucous in the throat. So their may be a genuine reason for the throat clearing.

And biting nails is serious bad habit that a lot of people struggle to break.

Have you talked to him at all about these habits?

thisishowloween · 20/10/2025 13:35

I bet you have habits that annoy him just as much.

Unless you’re happy to be told you’re equally annoying I would just leave it.

XWKD · 20/10/2025 13:35

Souredgrapes · 20/10/2025 13:33

No advice but I’m in the same boat. My DH has so many annoying repetitive behaviours that didn’t surface for quite some time after I met him. 10 years married and I’m frequently asking him to stop chewing his nails and corner of fingers next to his nails . He makes this weird slapping noise with his tongue on the roof of his mouth for no reason , sings a repetitive line from a song on and off for days then changes to a different one, says yeah to himself quietly a lot , and the worst one of all ..licks his knife at the dinner table . I put up with the behaviours because I love him. Good Luck .

Sorry, but he licks his knife. LTB! 🤣

Souredgrapes · 20/10/2025 13:33

No advice but I’m in the same boat. My DH has so many annoying repetitive behaviours that didn’t surface for quite some time after I met him. 10 years married and I’m frequently asking him to stop chewing his nails and corner of fingers next to his nails . He makes this weird slapping noise with his tongue on the roof of his mouth for no reason , sings a repetitive line from a song on and off for days then changes to a different one, says yeah to himself quietly a lot , and the worst one of all ..licks his knife at the dinner table . I put up with the behaviours because I love him. Good Luck .

Branleuse · 20/10/2025 13:33

Tell him to stop doing it before you smother him in his sleep.

Original poster
Conundrum85 · 20/10/2025 13:31

@screenager he never did it before , it's just been the last month so obviously he can control it

OP posts:
Screenager · 20/10/2025 13:29

Just do it back, until he notices..

Seriously though, as someone who has random ticks going on… he probs can’t help it!

Original poster
Conundrum85 · 20/10/2025 13:28

Also to add , he doesn't have a cold, the throat clearing seems to be a habit

OP posts:
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