DP and I have been together for 6 years, no kids. We're getting married next summer, all going well, excited making plans etc
My DP is one of three brothers, one of whom is married and has children. I've got 1 married sister who took her husband's name.
My DP has a surname plus first/surname combination that he has said for years he's not keen on. It's a surname that's not super unusual but resulted in lots of teasing at school and he just doesn't like it. This is totally his view, not mine imposed on him. I was happy to take his name, I don't have a similarly conflicting first name and didn't have the teasing at school, I'd not got as far as thinking how it would affect our children though.
My DP spoke to my parents about taking their surname, to ask if they'd be ok with that. His reasoning is he doesn't want our kids to have to deal with the same teasing. His family name will continue through his brothers and his brother's kids and my family name which he likes would come to an end with me taking his
My parents were understandably touched by his ask, I'd be happy to keep mine but his mother's gone ballistic. Saying I've poisoned her son against them and she could see this coming and how my parents must have sown the seed and put him under pressure and how he's never mentioned this to her before now etc etc.
He's now thinking of going back on it all to only keep his mother happy but I must admit, having now had this as an option discussed I think it's the right decision
I don't really want to have separate surnames, not even sure how that would work with kids, who's surname would they take? if we did go separate and the kids took my name I could 100% see this being an even bigger deal to her at that point.
Should I tell her to back off? Should I encourage my DP and support him in telling her to back off?
Such a stupid drama!