DHs past sex life making me feel disgusted.

Doesn't sound like this man has, though.

My DH had a very colourful past life but then again so did I. But he never spoke of past lovers with anything but kindness. He hadn't a misogynist bone in his body.

Your partner, OTOH, is a pig and I would drop him like a stone. How do you think he'll speak of you to the next lucky lady?

Lots of people are idiots when they start out in regards to sexual activity. Lots reassess, mellow and change as they mature.

He was a gentleman, and has continued to be throughout our marriage.

A gentleman?! Oh OP. I feel like you have a SERIOUSLY low bar set for what a decent man is.

No I am not a man. Agree that if he does hold these views it is pretty gross and disgusting on his part.
I guess OP needs to figure out his true views of women, are they the same as when he was younger? I think his younger self sounds like a pretty sad and bitter individual really.

you sound like a person who moves into a house next to a church and start complaining about the church bells

I think my ovaries would dry up and my fanjo clamp shut rather than allow a misogynist pig like this to lay another finger on me.

Sorry, OP but I think it's terminal icksville.

Is he quite a bit older than you? I’ve noticed these men with the Madonna/whore complex tend to marry much younger women.

Oh wow, so he's effectively a rapist or coerced them? Thats not how im reading what youve said but if that is your perspective, your relationship wont last much longer.

Women can consent to casual sex with selfish horrible men. Which it sounds like he was/is, calling the mother of his child a slut is horrific 😳

No. She is accusing him of not being honest in all matters with his sexual partners. The definition of 'rape by deception' is at present limited to specific circumstances. These would not include pretending to find a woman attractive or pretending to want a relationship rather than a ONS. For one thing, how could these things ever be proved? To try to push the OP into naming him a rapist looks to me to be a tactic to get the OP to reflect, think, oh no, he's not that, and thereby decide what he did is OK. She doesn't consider him a rapist, but she does consider him exploitative.

I agree with this. HE is not sex positive.

From the post he is maybe just grateful not to have to pay for sex any more because he gets it free.

Are you a man? If it's under false pretences it's not really mutual. If the women knew how he really felt ( ugly, gross, cocklodging) would they consent?

Viz sugar mamas, that would put me right off but in fairness, they were both taking advantage of each other.

There’s a strange dynamic here. He is clearly a misogynist and has no respect for the women who were in his life previously yet he treats you well. Some kind of Madonna complex?

He's a misogynistic piece of shit who refers to women by their looks (he'd never call men ugly) and sees women as just 'sluts' and calls them sluts. Just how low is your self esteem to be with such a vile pig? The first time I heard him call a woman a slut - EVER, he would be out the door.

You, his daughter and his daughter’s mother ALL deserve so much better than this embarrassment of a man.

This.

I can't imagine for a second my DH even calling a one night stand from many years ago a slut or tramp. And yet your "D"H is calling the mother of his child that. Disgusting.

Out of curiosity, does your lovely husband have any relationship with his daughter?

Also, why is he lying about knowing a woman from his past?
Im not sure that you'd say "Hi babe!" To someone you knew a v long time ago.

Why did he lie? .. I'd dig cos with the information you've got I'm not sure he's the loyal type. I'd trust a hungry dog more to not eat the Sunday roast.

I couldn’t be with someone like that to be honest and would be leaving.

His little girl was conceived during a hookup with a woman he knew wanted a relationship with him, but he felt she “wasn’t girlfriend material”. He slept with her once when she was going through a breakup( had known her since a teen) and she got pregnant. I think that’s him massively taking advantage of her to be honest. He talks about her poorly, calling her a tramp or ugly or a slut.

Not a good way to talk about her, does he see the child? When you say he took advantage of her do you believe that as a young woman she wasn't capable of making up her own mind regarding the relationship. Perhaps the way he talks indicates he is still angry about the ending of the relationship.

He’s told me over the years we’ve been married that he had “sugar mamas” when he was in his early to mid 20s, where he’d sleep with 40/50 year old women and “act as a stepdad to their kids” so he could have somewhere to live/pay for his hobbies. I find that disgusting to be honest. He said that they were “gross” but “sex was sex” and he was “depressed”.

Not good but would you think differently if it was 25 yera old woman and a 50 year old man? Would you still think he was the one to blame rather than her seeking someone who would help pay the bills. I suspect sugar daddies are more common than sugar mummies.

Early on in our marriage we were at a cafe and a woman in her pjs walked in (full of lip filler, tan, overweight - the opposite to me) and said “hiya babe you okay?”. DH denied knowing her but it was obvious that he did know her. I think from seeing his “type” before (his child’s mum) I assumed he’d slept with her at some point.

Maybe he had maybe he hadnt, does it matter.

He slept with his female friend who was a lesbian. He only “felt attracted to her because she was a lesbian”. He said it was an awkward encounter but I just feel again - taking advantage? I don’t know, it just feels strange.

A bit wierd but people do experiment with sex, do you think the lesbian friend was mentally incompetent and unable to make decision herself? Just two people experimenting.

He said that his friends joked with him “rather than spending all money on dates, just go to a hooker and you’re guaranteed sex”. He said this depressed him because he realised he was paying for sex with the girls on dating apps.

Some of the young women I worked with used dating apps for that purpose, to be wined and dined with no intention of having a relationship, just a bit of fun with someone else paying.

Yeah, I’m with PPs.

This doesn’t have anything to do with “sex positivity” and everything to do with his disgusting attitude to the mother of his child and seemingly every other woman he’s ever encountered.

What do you think he’ll say about you, if you and he were to break up? I’d put a bet on that he won’t be a “gentleman” then.

I more of the mind that someone's past is their past, as long as they aren't a paedo or rapist for example. But it seems you didn't have these discussions early on, so you didn't really make an informed decision?

I know there is an argument that past sex lives are nothing to do with current relationships and it's rude to ask, and that a new relationship should be started from a clean slate... I can see it from both sides.

My DH and I know everything there is to know about each other because we are candid, and I don't do beating around the bush. If he came out with some unexpected story I hadn't heard before after 10 years together I don't think I'd be too bothered unless it was seriously revolting like paying for prostitutes or something.

Some of the examples you have given do come under revolting. I suppose you can make the argument that people change, young and dumb etc. But his underlying motives seem misogynistic.

Has he been a misogynist to you during your relationship?

He calls a woman he has been with, the mother of his child, a trampx ugly and a slut… and you thought “yes, this is the man I want to marry.”

When men talk like that about women, I dump them. You married him. That shows your values really.