DHs past sex life making me feel disgusted.

I'd worry he's told you now because he's tired of the pretence and is testing to see if you'll accept him being that person with you. Or, because he sees you already put up that side of him, so no reason to pretend any more.

Yeah I'd be more concerned about his attitude to women, he sounds vile. Everyone has a past which most of the time shouldnt/wouldn't be an issue but his attitude is horrendous. Hes shown you what he really thinks

The world would be a better place if no woman ever let such a repugnant creature between her thighs.

There are men who have respect for women and possess common decency. I definitely recommend dumping this piggish cretin and finding one op.

He sounds like an extreme misogynist. Look at the names he calls his child's mom when he was right there too. He divides women into the madonna/whore stereotypes.

He had to have shown this before you got married. Are you very young? Is there a large age gap? Because how you didn't pick up on someone so far to an extreme of misogyny who doesn't appear to hide it is a bit concerning.

You don't talk about his daughter. Does he see her?

This is about him being an exploitative arsehole, not about sex.

Does he work now, or are you bankrolling him?
Do you have children together, and who is raising them?
Are you the one who primarily cares for his child when they visit?
Who is paying for your shared home, and who does the work of caring for it?

Basically, given how he describes his past interactions with women, what would he say (to someone else) about what he is getting from being with you?

Reverse of what?

I don’t care what my DH did before he met me, absolutely none of my business.

but if ever heard a man in my life (DH, my Dad, brother) call any woman a slut or a tramp - I would absolutely lose my shit.

this is the mother of his child. Vile misogynistic pig

I see @PrawnAgain and I have both called him a raging misogynist - literally used the same words op.

I just don't understand how you have heard him use this language towards a woman and not gone 'oh fuck this is a bad man, I'm off.'

There's sex positivity and then there's just being a cunt. He is firmly in the latter category.

This all over. Surely you mean you’re disappointed in him op? Also has he changed? That’s the big one. Does he regret his past attitude? Sleeping with women he finds ‘gross’ is a horrible thing to say. Itll also make you wonder what he says about you.

OP, I’m surprised his seemingly misogynistic attitudes have not been made apparent to you prior to getting married. I’m also curious as to how all of this new information about his former sex life has come to light? I could not marry someone with these past experiences.

Why are you disappointed with yourself? Do you wanf to be happy he’s calling women sluts?

He talks about her poorly, calling her a tramp or ugly or a slut.

Literally didn't need to read any further than this.

The problem is not his sex life.

It's that he's a raging, unashamed misogynist cunt who abuses women.

If he is monogamous with you now that is the main thing. Many men like to sow their oats before settling down.

Or, maybe his child's mum was the instigator in an attempt to trap him?

Even if that were true, it doesn't matter. He's a grown man responsible for where he puts his dick and what he puts on it beforehand and if he thought she was so beneath him then he shouldn't have put it near her. God, do men still need this explained to them in 2025?

He should have kept his mouth shut, ignorance is bliss after all.

Under these circumstances I really, truly hope he doesn’t have contact with his daughter.

Or, maybe his child's mum was the instigator in an attempt to trap him?

And how did he take advantage of his gay friend? Im not sure why she was vulnerable here? Maybe she wanted to try sex with a man, maybe to prove to herself its not her thing?

He's still calling the mother of his child a slag and a tramp though.

And saying that he slept with older women who were "gross".

So I would suggest he hasn't changed at all.

I couldn't get worked up about this. You're talking about stuff he did in his 20's! Presumably that was a lifetime ago, and he is now a proper grown up by comparison.

My DH had loads of partners before me. I don't care! He knew I was "the one" and that's enough for me.

As for you now hinting that there was no consent? That's a huge STRETCH. Honestly, lighten up.

As others have said, you've not disgusted because of his sexual past, you're disgusted because he's a horrible misogynistic arsehole.

This has nothing to do with being sex positive.

I agree with the majority of posts saying it’s not the sex, it’s the lack of respect for women.

When I hear the words sex positive in my mind it translates automatically to attempts to erode healthy boundaries and it also highlights psychological damage earlier in life from life experiences or neurobiology.

I have never ever heard anyone who promotes sex positivity exhibiting or extolling any critical awareness of the systemic sexism women face in their day to day life.

He sounds absolutely disgusting.

Even if he was lovely to me, I would struggle with someone who talked about other women like that. There really is no need.

It also isn’t about being “sex positive”. You can have had many previous partners. But in this case, it’s how he treated them.

I think Counciling might be a good idea. It might help you make sense of things with him.

A final note: when people tell/show you who they are, believe them.