Adult ADHD diagnosis!

I'm an ADHD hipster (diagnosed before it was cool 😎) and I don't think it's a bad thing that more people are exploring diagnosis. It's one of those conditions that presents differently in women and has therefore been massively under diagnosed, which is now being corrected.

In terms of support, medication will make the world of difference, but I think if you're close it's also good to be that devil's advocate - if your friend ever blames things on ADHD, be that gentle voice to say "ok, so we know what causes it, but what do you want to do to change it, and how can I help you?". I think a big problem at the moment is that people have such a long waiting list that they've pinned all their hopes on being diagnosed as a magic bullet, and have kind of become "helpless" - the thing that helped me the most 10 years ago was this idea of ok, the way you feel and act is influenced by your neuro type, but you still have to exist and function in an neurotypical world, so how are we going to do that?

I've been off medication for three years now (not by choice) and it's bumpy at times but a million times better than before diagnosis and medication. It is possible to learn how to cope with it; medication is hugely helpful while learning.

First really on this thread is really depressing. I really hope that's not a popular opinion.

Lots of people have suggested that I might have adhd, but I haven’t even been brave enough to mention it to my lovely gp for fear of being accused of jumping on a bandwagon, so there you go. I’ll just carry on living a shit show.

I think there are multiple things going on with the recent increase in ADHD (and ASD) diagnoses. A lot of ADHD was missed in the past, particularly in women, and much of the current increase is just catching up from that.

But I also think that because these conditions are now so well known and prominent, people with similar symptoms from other, perhaps less well known issues are more likely to have their issues mistaken for ADHD etc. Things like PTSD/CPTSD and other trauma related issues, post-infectious conditions such as Long Covid, and other medical issues like hypothyroidism. (These are all things people I know turned out to have, which were originally mistaken for ADHD). Probably various other things too, those are just the ones I know of.

I also think our society is often very demanding and misaligned with our mental and emotional needs, and people quite naturally having difficulty dealing with these pressures can sometimes be mistaken for ADHD etc.
I think misdiagnosis is more likely to happen in private clinics as some of them don't seem particularly thorough (though I know there are plenty of reputable ones too).
So when I hear that someone I know has a new ADHD diagnosis, I do wonder if it is actually ADHD or not, but I wouldn't say that to them as I wouldn't want to hurt them, and I'm not qualified to judge whether they have ADHD anyway! Plus even if they had been misdiagnosed I would in no way blame them for that! In that case the fault would really be with the clinic, not them. In terms of support I would think best just to ask them if there is anything in particular they would like support with? That was a bit rambly and probably not very helpful, sorry! 😄

I am 99.9% sure I have ADHD, I have all the hallmarks, but at 34 years of age and having found plenty of coping mechanisms that work for me I do not see the point of getting a diagnosis now.

However I don't judge people who do seek adult diagnoses, I understand the uncertainty of not knowing can be horrible, and just being able to definitively say "this is why I do X or Y" could be beneficial.

I do wonder if as many people would be angered by adults seeking diagnoses for physical conditions that they've always had but didn't have a name for until recently, something like lipoedema for instance. Can't imagine that would be as divisive. Wonder why that is.

I was diagnosed in my mid 50s about 18 months ago. The overwhelming attitude from friends and acquaintances has been positive mostly “no shit Sherlock”

Other people don’t matter.

I can't be arsed to get a diagnosis because I don't want medication. I don't want to become high functioning!

I would just not think anything really. It seems like the illness du jour in adults so lots of people seem to be getting diagnosed.

It wouldn't make me think any worse of the person. If I found them annoying or whatever then tough, that's just the way they are. But I'd think that regardless of a diagnosis.

I'm the same. Used to hyperfocus on books when I was a child, but I can very rarely do that now. Occasionally when I'm on holiday.... and then once I get stuck in, I really can't put it down!

I am currently on another, similar thread.

Some of this perhaps won’t reflect overly well on me but the OP did ask for honesty!

I have realised either autism or ADHD, possibly both, probably accounts for some of my rather strange behaviour as a child / adolescent and accounts for something of a car crash of my twenties and to an extent my thirties.

I don’t want a diagnosis because quite bluntly I want to be ‘normal.’ It may explain a lot of things but I am still someone with autonomy and I can make choices and decision. What goes on in my head may be extremely weird but how I choose to present myself is not.

I think that both autism and ADHD have become so broad as to become meaningless and this detracts from the suffering of those genuinely impaired by these conditions. I don’t generally see it as an attempt to get money. It’s more a way of rewriting the past and (I’ll get annihilated for this) I think it’s a dangerous route to go down as it puts yourself in the position of perpetual victim and that’s not something I have a lot of time for.

Congratumisserations to your relative with a recent diagnosis. It can be overwhelmingly helpful in knowing oneself, and at the same time fill you with grief as the realisations that you've gone your whole life without support and understanding and still face further misunderstandings simply by nature of the condition.

I think there's a lot of misinformation about people with ADHD seeking PIP, as shown from some posters. ADHD isn't seen as the disability it genuinely is.

To the OP, the systems that work best for supporting someone with ADHD are based on Novelty, Urgency, Interest and Challenge. A lot of the time when someone with ADHD needs to start a task and it doesn't meet the above requirements it causes this decision-paralysis type state. I'd strongly recommend you look into executive dysfunction, it will explain a lot.

Equally if something really grabs the attention of someone with ADHD it can give this horrible inertia when trying to stop, which can be equally devastating and disabling. I've seen a lot of quirky memes about not being able to clean or not being able to stop cleaning until its 4am and you've to set off for work at 6, while yes, this can happen, it's also applicable to many other things such as hobbies and interests, which is why people with ADHD get a lot of flack. I've seen it posted plenty of times "well if he/she can spend hours on their hobby why can't they do the laundry" or "I bet they manage to do their Big Adult Job perfectly fine so why can't they pull their weight at home?" And it completely neglects the way the ADHD brain works.

It's a really tough landscape to navigate OP, but having support is really something that is invaluable.

If you share responsibilities with this person, play to each other's strengths. It will make task management a whole lot easier.

Honestly, she might want to be cautious about sharing the information with too many people. A lot of people don't believe that ADHD is real, and they think people are just lazy or disorganised or whatever. And if your friend is anything like most of us with ADHD, she will have probably spent her life telling herself that she is lazy or disorganised and just needs to pull herself together, so she really doesn't need to be exposed to the views of people who are just going to reinforce those harmful thoughts. There really isn't any point in arguing with people who don't get it because they never will.

I had that for years while also experiencing burnout. It was horrible because as a child and into my 20s I could read a whole book in one sitting. Getting into that hyperfocus state is now only possible if I'm very well rested. I blame having kids - my background emotional bandwidth is just constantly used up. I love short stories as a way back into reading.

I presume for a lot of them it's an awful lot of coke!

I strongly suspect I have ADHD and am on the waiting list but it is about 3 years long. All I want from a diagnosis is to have an answer to lots of questions I've had for years. I don't want any special treatment or money as I've managed so far this long. My concentration is so bad that I can't even read Mumsnet, I just skim through. I haven't read a book for decades. I often wonder how actors/writers manage when they say they have ADHD.

Oh your intention was very clear.

Just remember everyone, mumsnet HQ has told us that they have multiple ND trolls.

Hmm. Did you not realise that you would invite those sort of comments? I believe you did.

@GreenGodiva medication has been life changing for me, too!

I'd say ignore the prejudice and stereotypes about ADHD. I think the best thing you can do is to talk to the person about how ADHD impacts them and go from there.