To think I have to move from sheer embarrassment?

Oh you were talking sense until the last bit where you rambled off into lunacy

You’re fine. Very average working class thing to do (I’m working class and have done similar!) If my DP helped the neighbour move and had a beer after I wouldn’t assume she wanted to bed him 🤣 just a thanks isn’t it…

You offered him a beer, not a blowjob.

Yes, I agree with this.

I am sure I've done things like that in the past. Never occurred to me that it might be viewed as a come-on, to be honest.

Not a big deal. He did you a favour, you offered him a drink. I wouldn't read anything more into it than that.

My partner would have refused too.

I know that because, a few years before we got together and we just did a hobby together, he did a pretty big favour for me and I asked if he wanted to come in afterwards for a beer and he refused because he had a girlfriend at the time and it didn't feel appropriate to him.

Nothing wrong with the OP offering.

Nothing wrong with him refusing.

If they were actually friends it would be different.

Ah this thread. Classic a man can’t do right for trying. He did exactly the right thing considering how it would look from his gf pov and declined. He dosent think he gods gift to woman, he just has some self awareness. A bit more than OP, who btw, clearly does fancy him.

See we are all different. If I helped a neighbour and they handed me £5 i would think they were really weird. I’m not a skivvy. I’m a neighbour helping out.

I also got this vibe. OP says she didn’t find him attractive and it wasn’t like that - but she did notice he must work out and how fit he was. Makes a point out of how she used to shag her old neighbour.

And again, a new neighbour helping me out I would offer a cup of tea or coffee. She went right to “let’s drink together.” This man was perfectly within his right to be clear about his relationship status and that he couldn’t accept. The most embarrassing part of this situation was OP doubling down after he said no. Insisting she meant to share a beer together as a friend was cringey. She absolutely should have said for him to take a beer or two home as a thank you for taking the time to help her.

I’d move, change your name and get plastic surgery to change your appearance 😂

It doesn’t matter. She asked him to share an alcoholic drink, not a cup of tea. He wanted to be absolutely clear because her intention could very easily have been to stay and get to know him. It doesn’t make him arrogant to be firm and give the clear reason he isn’t comfortable staying. Not because of OP or her intentions but because within his relationship this would not be acceptable.

If your aim is to find another friends with benefits set-up like in your previous residence then yes you should move as this neighbour ain’t having it.

Reminds me of the SATC line with Samantha and ‘I have a girlfriend! ‘Relax, I just asked if the seat was taken’.

Agree that it’s him that should be embarrassed. It was a normal offering. He made it weird.

Male friends often walk me home from nights out. If I am not up early I often invite them in for a beer as a thanks. It never occurred to me that they might see it as a 'come on' at all.

Absolutely this! Some of the replies on here are so prim. And he sounds up himself for assuming you were flirting.

OP I think it was a nice gesture, try not to feel embarrassed.

Agree - remember the whole discourse about men reading too much into friendly gestures and how it prevents women from making friendly gestures 🙃

Pretty sad that women read that into it too.

He didn't need to mention his girlfriend though.

The OP offered him a beer, not a blow job. A "no thanks" would have sufficed, without anyone needing to be embarrassed. It's pretty presumptuous to assume that someone who offers you a beer wants to sleep with you.

Nothing to be embarrassed about here imo. You asked a favour, he done you a favour, you tried to thank him by offering a beer - which I think is a normal thing to do - and he declined. It's pretty straightforward and doesn't seem like a 'come on' at all. If any male partner I've had had helped someone lift furniture and they gave him a beer I wouldn't have batted an eye.

Agreed. The people saying HE was ridiculous would be saying the opposite if someone posted “my DP helped the new neighbour then stayed over for a beer with her and I’m really uncomfortable about it.”

He came into your home and was kind enough to help, but he established a boundary that he wasn’t going to sit down and have a drink with you. Perfectly reasonable. After you said “I don’t mean it like that” he accepted so, but still maintained his boundary. I think he behaved very gentlemanly and appropriate.

He must really love himself. I would just assume you meant you'd buy him some beers as a thank you. Don't worry about it.

His response was embarrassing - he should be mortified that he assumed you were cracking on to him. What a dick.

Why?

I could say that about my many a male friend/neighbour/colleague.

I'm gay and don't personally find them attractive, but I can tell they are.

So what if you were flirting with him! Not saying you were just saying there is nothing to feel embarrassed about either way.

I would take it as a compliment. His saddo girlfriend is probably obsessed with every attractive female in the vicinity. If she thought you looked like the BFG she probably wouldnt care. Nothing wrong with looking like the BFG but you know what I mean.