To think I have to move from sheer embarrassment?

If my male neighbour offered me a beer in the middle of the day for simply moving a piece of furniture I would think it really strange and weird. Had they offered a coffee maybe not. It’s about context.

I have many male friends none of them would suggest a beer alone together in the middle of the afternoon!

I’m honestly beginning to wonder if some MNers live by the Mike Pence rule of never being alone with a member of the opposite sex. It’s absurd.

Does your husband not have female friends? I would find it completely absurd if my husband snubbed a neighbour out of 'respect' for me. I really think I must live in an area where a) people are much friendlier and b) people drink more alcohol. To me, offering a beer is no different to a cup of tea.

When I had a newborn, a neighbour brought round a gift. We were newly moved in and I'd never spoken to her before. I invited her in, she held the baby and we chatted for 15 minutes. It's just called being friendly. If my husband had taken receipt of the gift, I'd have expected him to do the same. And if it were after about 3pm, he'd certainly offer beer and wine as well as a hot drink!

I could see that I would have offered a beer, whether it was a male of female neighbour, without it crossing my mind that they’d think it meant I fancied them. I’d be offended that he took it as a come on!

Can you explain what you mean by that. I gave a detailed response to your comments but just a strange patronising sentence from you like this is far from logical

I've said twice now that just because a woman offers a man a drink in whatever form doesn't mean she wants to jump into bed with him. I've also said that there are circumstances where it might be completely normal to have a drink, and others where it might come across as wanting something a bit more. Not sure which part you're confused by

I'm finally bored of this thread, took a bit longer than usual. We all seem to have our own interpretation of events, and that's great, but I'm all out of fucks.

@ConnieHeart Keep going,I think logic might tap out soon.

I'd not ask a random man and have moved the sofa myself but i am pretty strong

This! Love himself much?!

Sure, plenty of people would prefer to say thanks and walk away. But if a bit of pushing, heading and shoving is involved (with the couch, nothing else) then a drink is really normal! Some people also like to engage their neighbours in polite conversation. It only takes a few minutes to drink a drink and have a very brief words of conversation. I think it’s much stranger to spend two minutes moving a persons couch and then be given a can to take home like a kid with party bag and be rushed out the door! It’s just so strange that people think the girlfriend is right to be wary because the OP is flirting by offering a drink after moving something heavy. I’d be far more concerned for the man and the controlling situation he’s in if he thinks that this is something he isn’t permitted to do.

Once again, you're twisting my words. I did already say though that it doesn't necessarily mean the woman wants a shag. Even if i did fancy a bloke that did a job for me, I'd much rather get to know him first anyway. I don't know why so many posters on here go from offering a drink to jumping into bed with them the same day

Yes, this'll be it! He knows he's irresistible and you couldn't help it. Forget it! I've done much worse when drunk and had to brazen out the shame

I agree.
But like I said earlier in the thread, MN is like a parallel universe sometimes!

This 100%.

It sounds very teenage disco to me. I’m quite shocked at some of the replies here - it’s as though we’re back in some previous era - maybe the 50s….or possibly the Victorian period! The idea that you have to be mindful of sexual matters when offering some bloke from next door a drink after he’s helped you!

OP take no notice. You did NOTHING awkward and he sounds a bit of a tit.

His girlfriend might have brought up that he had a drinking problem and wouldn't be pleased if she could smell alcohol on him.

Doesn't want to start another fight about whether he needs to go to his AA meetings again.

Tbh, if I'd spent less than 5 mins helping my neighbour move a sofa across a room I'd be surprised if they then offered me a drink and tried to engage me in conversation if we weren't actually friends where sharing a drink together was normal.

A thank you would be enough.

I disagree. It’s a neighbour, not a paid workman. It would be very strange to expect him to have a drink while he’s helping you. It sends a clear message that he’s the help and you want to get him moving as fast as possible after he’s done. A new neighbour is someone you often hope to build a casual friendship with so that if your house goes up in flames they pull out a hose rather than shrug and walk off. If you ask a friend to help you move something then you give them a drink and chat afterwards to show them that you appreciate their time and view them as an equal friend and not the paid help. If I popped past to help a friend with an odd job and she offered me a Coke but then said it was best to take it home and not dawdle in her house then I would think something really weird was happening. A neighbour is a person you give a basic level of time and respect to via a few words of conversation. Encouraging them to say for 10 minutes and drink their cold drink after moving something normal is only polite.

But why is a thank you gift to take home appropriate but offering him a drink in the house was inappropriate? He got thirsty in the moment and the direct response to that was to offer a drink. Because she wanted to tank you or at least not look cheap she offered a beer instead of tap water. It’s strange to say you must be thirsty so here have a beer but carry it home. If she’d only thought I’d thanking him later then sure take a present around but she offered him a beer and this is Ben f judged as inappropriate. There is nothing inappropriate about this and it’s concerning if he’s in a relationship where this is something he needs to be aware of and alter his behaviour response to.

If they were sitting close to one another in a romantic dimly lit bar maybe. But he’s just helping her move a piece of furniture. It’s completely unnecessary.

Some of these comments suggest to me that people feel that any social interaction between men and women needs signposting to indicate whether its romantic or not. Life just isn’t like that. Seeing every interaction with someone of the opposite sex as a potential pickup opportunity is so limiting and depressing.

We did a favour for a neighbour and the guy came round with a bottle of wine to thank us, I was in on my own. That’s about as much of a come-on as offering a beer, surely? He should be embarrassed, not you. If it was a guy offering it’d just be a normal thing to do.

I get why you’re embarrassed but I don’t think you did anything wrong. I remember working with a guy who acted like every bit of small talk was a come on, which made me feel like an idiot at the time but now I look back and think he was the weird one!

Absolutely agree.

The female partner expects to be mentioned in case the woman is interested and he should be transparent.

The woman she is mentioned to is offended because how dare he think she might be interested.

Ridiculous

Also suggestions that he should have said he was too busy. When that isn't good enough and you should expect your partner to be clear that he is saying no because he has a partner and it shouldn't make any difference whether he has time or not because he has a partner and he should have let her know that.

All things I've read multiple times on MN.

It wasn't theatrical at all.

I can explicitly remember two men who did this.

One was a social situation where I didn't know anyone but recognised him - we'd never spoken. He mentioned his wife once in the first 5 mins of conversation. Perfectly appropriate but an obvious mention.

The second was a similar situation at a hobby related social event. I didn't know anyone else there and he made a point of telling me that his wife hadn't been able to attend because of taking the children to a family thing.

The main difference between them was that I actuqlly did quite fancy the first man so knowing he was married was helpful. Neither was embarrassing though.

@GreyCarpet I can't read anything into the gesture other than to say, thank you.

Find it very interesting to see women complain when a man “shoehorns” the mention of a partner into conversation with another woman. It’s a very, very different story when there’s no mention of a woman on the scene. “Why didn’t he mention her? He made me think he’s single, or perhaps he’s a cheat.” “If my DP/H/BF didn’t mention me once when chatting at length to a new girl I would be fuming.”