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Original poster

Blindsided at breakfast!

209 replies

Newname699032 · 19/10/2025 22:45

So I'm part of a wider friendship group of 6 women. We became friends through our children. I'm closest to two of them much more so than the others. One of others I find tricky sometimes. She's very opinionated and can make comments that I think comes across as critical.

Today at a breakfast with our kids, myself and one of the women I'm closest to whom I will call F, and this other woman whom I will call N, were sitting together chatting. I find in this dynamic when the 3 of us are together (our children do the same hobby), they talk the most and I feel my voice is often unheard (have felt like this my entire life so I'm fully aware that that is my 'stuff'). They will unintentionally (I assume) talk over me or not always really respond to things I say.

So, today the topic of one of our mutual friends marriage came up. Admittedly I am probably feeling a bit drained and frustrated as I have been supporting one of the other two women that I'm closest to navigate her marriage difficulties and now another one if going through problems. From mine, and others perspective, the common denominator here seems to be the men being disrespectful and basically checked out of the marriages and family life. I also feel quite passionate about this topic as 1. It has been present in my life as I support my friend and 2. I have some experience of my own marriage challenges. 3. I feel sorry for all the kids involved.

F was telling a story about someone else she knows and giving their example. I did interrupt her/try to interject my opinion (I suppose unlike most of the time, I persevered in giving my opinion this time) when N, in my opinion, quite angrily and aggressively, physically turned towards me and said 'can you stop being so defensive and let her finish'. I was absolutely gobsmacked and felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I responded that I wasn't being defensive which she double downed on and said I was. I repeated that I wasn't and continued making my point. All the while feeling almost sick at this confrontation. We had finished our food at this point anyway so paid and left. F text me afterwards to say that she was shocked by the whole thing and it was all completely uncalled for by N.

I genuinely still feel shaken by this interaction and don't think I can be around N anymore. I think I'm just venting and lookong for validation that N was completely out of line here? She could surely have just said something like, 'let F finish, I want to hear this', in a calm, normal tone?!

Thanks if you read it all!

OP posts:
mzpq · 19/10/2025 23:02

She sounds perfectly within her rights considering you interrupted and then persevered, that was rude of you.

I also think you've overreacted with your 'punch in the gut', 'feeling shaken', 'feeling almost sick' etc.

That sort of language makes me question your perspective on whether she did actually 'angrily and aggressively, physically turned towards you'.

Mountain - molehill.

Original poster
Newname699032 · 19/10/2025 23:02

ozarina · 19/10/2025 22:59

It sounds like you're all too busy talking about other people's marriages !

I agree with this!

OP posts:
TheatricalLife · 19/10/2025 23:02

It is really annoying when people talk over others and won't let them finish. While I wouldn't turn and snap as it's not my nature, it would have got on my nerves and I would have thought you were rude. You would have got your say when the other person finished talking, you could have let them complete their story.
I wouldn't worry about it anyway. Just be polite if you see her again, say hello as normal and don't see her socially outside of kids stuff if you don't want to. Feeling punched in the gut is an overreaction to a minor disagreement.

Original poster
Newname699032 · 19/10/2025 23:01

FuzzyWolf · 19/10/2025 22:57

You were rude to interrupt, she shouldn’t have spoken to you that way, F should have said something at the time, it sounds like having an excuse to now keep your distance from N has worked in your favour.

Thank you. This sums up how I feel about the whole thing basically. And I did apologise to F if I was interrupting her. She insisted that I wasn't. Maybe preserving our friendship as we are close but I do agree she could have said something at N's verbal attack!

OP posts:
DinaofCloud9 · 19/10/2025 23:01

OK she may have been rude but feeling sick and shaken is a bit much. She was terse not abusive. Let it go.

ozarina · 19/10/2025 22:59

It sounds like you're all too busy talking about other people's marriages !

FuzzyWolf · 19/10/2025 22:57

You were rude to interrupt, she shouldn’t have spoken to you that way, F should have said something at the time, it sounds like having an excuse to now keep your distance from N has worked in your favour.

Original poster
Newname699032 · 19/10/2025 22:56

Well F is pretty adamant that it was a conversation and that I wasn't being rude and or interrupting. And that she didnt need N to intervene on her behalf.

I should edit my post really. Its less validation that I need and more advice on how you would proceed with N going forward as I will continue to see her at our kids hobby.

OP posts:
BlissfullyBlue · 19/10/2025 22:53

You were being rude (“I did interrupt her/try to interject my opinion“) and she pulled you up on it. It’s no fun but you are overreacting.

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