Blindsided at breakfast!

But you DID interrupt, persistently. You told us so yourself.

You’ve also told us that F is a huge people pleaser. Why do you assume it’s N she’s trying to pacify and not you?

N sounds like a bitch. Neither rod you like each other. Perhaps stop spending time with her.
by the way I totally get ‘Interjecting but not everyone does.

Not helpful but this sounds like an episode of Real Housewives of Wherever. So much drama out of nothing. I agree with other PP recommending the 'let them' theory, just sounds like you and N dont get along and that's OK.

For conflict avoidant types, OP's reaction is very normal. I'd feel the same.
I'd drae back from anything to do with N. She doesn't sound very nice.

You were all gossiping. I don’t think any of you come out of it looking shiny.

Well, stop interrupting people then. It’s horribly rude, and I’d guess from the frustration in N’s reaction that this is probably something you do often and she’s had enough of listening to you do it.

I'd say N's got an attitude towards you. How does she treat you in general? If F was surprised at N, then I think you can be reassured by that.

Don't let N get the better of you.

But we’ve established she’s a people pleaser so she would say that (to you) wouldn’t she.

Just accept a bit of the blame and then stop worrying about it. Nothing you can do to change anything.

But you said you did interrupt her?

It's basically what your entire opening post is about.

That's what led to all the shaking and overreacting when you were pulled up about it.

Yeah, I can't remember ever getting together with a group of friends to 'passionately discuss' 2 of their failing marriages.

If that's your bag then fair enough but it's not unusual to get together with friends and not discuss the personal lives of those who aren't even present at the time.

Very obviously, it can be both true that OP felt she interrupted, and apologised for it, and that F didn't perceive that, so insisted she wasn't interrupting.

Why is that hard to grasp?

This is a chat forum.

We're all killing time.

You may read threads and have a burning need to know things, but most of us are just idly curious and engaging with the subject.

Do you and your circle (family, friends) never discuss the personal lives of others you know?

Fair play if you don't - very high-minded of you - but you must know that's highly unusual.

After all, look at this site! Apart from a few topics, it more or less exists for us to all get our fix discussing the problems of people we don't know!

This thread here, the one you are on, for example.....

But how can both these things be true? 😳

"I did interrupt her/try to interject my opinion (I suppose unlike most of the time, I persevered in giving my opinion this time"

And

"I did apologise to F if I was interrupting her. She insisted that I wasn't."

Even if she was rude, feeling sick and shsken is an overreaction.

Sometimes interrupting is part of a normal conversation in a group setting with lots of voices to be heard. Maybe you were interrupting inappropriately, maybe you weren't - I don't see that as the issue here. N sounds like a dominator and while it may be less noticeable in the group of 6 setting, in the group of 3 the dynamic is that N has place you at the bottom of the pile.

I don't tolerate such situations anymore. If it suits you to sit with them to eat breakfast after the activity (e.g. if it is fun for your children), do so and nod along to the conversation (inwardly thinking what a cow N is), maintain your inner peace, and go on your way. If you can't do this without feeling upset (understandable) let F know you are keeping your distance from N going forward after the "incident" so won't stay for breakfast. You can find other ways to cultivate your friendship with F.

Maybe it's subjective? Like most social interactions.....

Why your burning need to know? Can you explain how it will help the OP deal with her dilemma please, your asking this?

(It must be your intention to be helpful, after all).

Actually the person I feel the most sorry for is the woman whose marriage was being discussed over breakfast.

And the other woman whose marriage problems has 'drained and frustrated' the OP.

It comes across as a crass form of entertainment.

And also done by almost everybody in the entire world.....

N sounds like a bully, as do many of the people who have responded to you on here, OP.

And the best thing to do with bullies? Ignore them.

You were there. You know what happened and how everyone spoke. If your gut feeling is that N was disproportionately rude and cruel, let your future actions towards her be guided by that, and that alone.

I, too, am often spoken over by people. I think it is because I am quite softly spoken and gentle in my demenour - I have even been told I have a gentle face! I like the fact that I am seen as calm and kind and easy to talk to on the whole, but occasionally it pisses me off when people don't listen, and I do insist on making my point! And most decent people are fine with it.

But bullies really don't like it when you step outside your lane.

Fuck them, OP! (Not literally.)

I agree.

It doesn't sound like a very healthy friendship group, not something I would fit into easily nor would I want to.

If you kept saying you weren't being defensive, you were being defensive. :-)

Let it go now and avoid them in future. Do you really need to have breakfast together?