Blindsided at breakfast!

Sounds very dramatic. And also that you use English incorrectly to try to sound important (incorrect use of “myself” and “mine”). Maybe it carries across to your speaking style and winds people up?

I've done a lot of work on myself and did not appreciate being 'policed' and shut down like that when talking to a close friend.

But you weren't talking to a close friend.

You were interrupting two close(?) friends talking.

It’s not overreaction to feel shaken when somebody you consider your friend confront you aggressively.

Oh I see, you've just resurrected this thread to have a go at a random 🤣

Go pop the kettle on instead, I think Emmerdale's on soon 😊

Decide are you someone who never gossip about others or idly curious?

It should be perfectly clear to you that they're two completely different things 😳

If it isn't, then no-one here can really help you I'm afraid.

Are you alright? You are obsessing about something thats very normal. She felt she was interrupting but F who also tends to interrupt unintentionally didn’t care/ saw it as an interruption.

To feel sick and shaken because someone challenged you is an over reaction. While you may have felt unheard as a child, you’re an adult now and clearly able to make yourself heard. Only you know if the friendship is worth working on, in my friendship group that kind of challenge would have ended in the group acknowledging they always talk over each other and a bit of teasing not “how will I deal with her in future”. You recognised you were talking over her, surely the easiest way to resolve it is to say you were, but you really were trying to say X.

Now you are doing exactly what you accused op of - contradicting yourself.

Decide are you someone who never gossip about others or idly curious?

But you said you did interrupt her?

It's basically what your entire opening post is about.

That's what led to all the shaking and overreacting when you were pulled up about it.

This is a chat forum.

We're all killing time.

You may read threads and have a burning need to know things, but most of us are just idly curious and engaging with the subject.

So I'm part of a wider friendship group of 6 women. We became friends through our children. I'm closest to two of them much more so than the others. One of others I find tricky sometimes. She's very opinionated and can make comments that I think comes across as critical.

Today at a breakfast with our kids, myself and one of the women I'm closest to whom I will call F, and this other woman whom I will call N, were sitting together chatting. I find in this dynamic when the 3 of us are together (our children do the same hobby), they talk the most and I feel my voice is often unheard (have felt like this my entire life so I'm fully aware that that is my 'stuff'). They will unintentionally (I assume) talk over me or not always really respond to things I say.

So, today the topic of one of our mutual friends marriage came up. Admittedly I am probably feeling a bit drained and frustrated as I have been supporting one of the other two women that I'm closest to navigate her marriage difficulties and now another one if going through problems. From mine, and others perspective, the common denominator here seems to be the men being disrespectful and basically checked out of the marriages and family life. I also feel quite passionate about this topic as 1. It has been present in my life as I support my friend and 2. I have some experience of my own marriage challenges. 3. I feel sorry for all the kids involved.

F was telling a story about someone else she knows and giving their example. I did interrupt her/try to interject my opinion (I suppose unlike most of the time, I persevered in giving my opinion this time) when N, in my opinion, quite angrily and aggressively, physically turned towards me and said 'can you stop being so defensive and let her finish'. I was absolutely gobsmacked and felt like I'd been punched in the gut. I responded that I wasn't being defensive which she double downed on and said I was. I repeated that I wasn't and continued making my point. All the while feeling almost sick at this confrontation. We had finished our food at this point anyway so paid and left. F text me afterwards to say that she was shocked by the whole thing and it was all completely uncalled for by N.

I genuinely still feel shaken by this interaction and don't think I can be around N anymore. I think I'm just venting and lookong for validation that N was completely out of line here? She could surely have just said something like, 'let F finish, I want to hear this', in a calm, normal tone?!

Thanks if you read it all!

Well if this is the norm and people interrupt each other then why suddenly a regular interruptor has a problem that a silent listener has learnt to follow their suit. Based on the dynamics of the group and N deciding to speak on behalf of F, rather than let her say something if she felt offended, I would say op is not the rude one in this group.

You were being rude (“I did interrupt her/try to interject my opinion“) and she pulled you up on it. It’s no fun but you are overreacting.

3 unpleasant people having breakfast together 🤷‍♀️

Thank you so much. This is exactly how I interpreted the situation.

Anyone out there who has a childhood history of feeling unheard will understand what might appear as my 'overreaction', or 'drama' around this.

I've done a lot of work on myself and did not appreciate being 'policed' and shut down like that when talking to a close friend.

you ok dear?

It’s a mumsnet post - get a grip.

the only aggressive is one is the person aggressively interrupting.

That's a lot of drama over something that is none of their business anyway.

Sounds like N was looking for a chance to shout at you.

You need to develop a tougher skin and answer her back every time. Well done for standing your ground.

And speak louder, don't let her talk over you ever again.

Reading the OP it sounds to me like N, certainly, and possibly also F, are in the habit of talking over the OP and, basically, ignoring her input. She says:

I find in this dynamic when the 3 of us are together (our children do the same hobby), they talk the most and I feel my voice is often unheard (have felt like this my entire life so I'm fully aware that that is my 'stuff'). They will unintentionally (I assume) talk over me or not always really respond to things I say.

On this occasion she made the effort to have her say and be heard and, it seems to me, N was responding badly to this simply because she is used to overriding and ignoring OP and couldn't accept her standing her ground and having her say.

You might think OP's reaction is OTT, but if it is a huge effort for her usually to stand her own ground then I can understand her being unsettled by the aggressive response.