Have I messed things up with new man?

Why on earth would you willingly be in a relationship with a msn who described himself as an alpha male and has shown you he’s controlling? He’s waving red flags right in your face - of course he wants you to chase him, it’s a power game

Well then he should be working on his issues and not taking them out on you.

Anyone who gets blows hot and cold and describes himself as an alpha male, pass and wth, of course you can block him. The only reason you wouldn't is you think there's another chance and he'll come round.

Hint. Alpha is manspeak for Asshole.

Red flag, life's too short for sulkers

Any grown man describing themselves seriously as 'an Alpha male' is seriously sad and waving a giant red flag tbh. I dislike 'alpha male' shit as a bit Andrew Tate tbh, but as far as it's a real thing, a 'real' alpha male is someone who is secure enough that they have no need to shout about it. Is he also a Tate fan?

Tell me how you know he likes you? Honestly, this man is a walking red flag. Everyone on here is telling you to run a mile, but you’re determined to keep your rose coloured glasses on.

It's never easy to leave someone you're invested in but he's showing you who he is, listen. Don't subject yourself to years of this and regret not leaving when you should have got out. Of course he wants you chasing him. He wants to be able to treat you exactly how he wants to and have you pandering to him, which you are doing. You are letting him know it's fine to treat you like this. you can do better.

You were unreasonable to not run a mile the moment he described himself as an alpha male. He absolutely does want you to chase him, it’s not strange at all, he enjoys controlling you.

Why exactly is it not easy to block him? He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t like you. He views you as less than him. Surely you can see that you’d be better off single than putting up with someone who treats you badly? Stop wasting your precious time on this loser.

In what other ways does he not like to be questioned?
I’m guessing he describes himself as an alpha male? And you’re not really allowed to go against his opinion?

After 8 months, you should be committed and have had that chat. If he is still blowing hot and cold then he just doesn’t like you very much and is also a player, and a massive red flag. Know what else is a red flag? Any man who says anything similar to “crazy exes”.

Chuck this one back and move on.

Another vote for block and move on.

Hot/cold behaviour after 8 months? Throw him back, he's not a keeper.

8 months is plenty of time to know whether you want to commit to a relationship. If he's still blowing hot and cold and giving you the silent treatment then you are scraping the bottom of the man barrel. Just dump this off.
We've all been hurt, that doesn't mean we treat other people like dirt.

Strongly suspect that he has had bad experiences with women in the past because he treated them similar and they didn't stand for it. The silent treatment is a horrible method of control and it won't be his only controlling behavior.

Add yourself to the list of women who have had a lucky escape.

He's giving you the cold shoulder in the hope you'll be jumping hoops to get his attention back. He's enjoying every second of this. Please never speak to him again so he learns his lesson for future relationships

Ignore the prick if that’s what he wants

Block him

I agree with this. Bloke sounds tedious to me.

I have never chased any man! Leave it.

He's using the idea he has had bad relationships in the past to control your behaviour. You wouldn't accept this shit from him if he hadn't said he'd been treated badly in the past. He's said it to make you prove that you are different to other women, and when you disagree about something he is using silence to punish you so you won't do it again.

Block him, hes manipulative.

Is the bar really this low for men now? Why would anyone accept that level of disregard?

Op please take the initiative and tell him to Foxtrot Oscar and be gone with his jaded feelings!

Men like this are just not worth it! You deserve much better!

Please believe me when I say that a good man, who really wants you, will climb mountains and cross oceans to be with you. This bloke’s hot and cold behaviour is already telling you everything you need to know!

Why is this important?

Because if you want to develop a proper committed relationship with this man, and go on to have a family, you will need a full grown adult by your side, someone who is all-in with the nappies and the night wakings and stepping up to earn when you are on maternity leave and who can power through when your or the baby is unwell. Proper love is not for half-hearted wimps! Toss him in the bin op and be grateful he gave you this warning of his feebleness now!

Also don’t you dare feel embarrassed for wanting more and having high standards! If a bloke makes you feel like then you need to step away!

Be strong op! Value yourself and your future life more than this wastrel!