Page 3 | Is it ok just to offer wine, beer and soft drinks when having guests round for a meal?

snauralaura · 2025-10-19T15:37:40+00:00

Just that really. We're not big drinkers so we don't have a stock of spirits or "after dinner" type drinks. Would you think we were poor hosts if that was all we offered?

phoenixrosehere · 20/10/2025 08:49

It’s fine and I think it is silly to expect people who don’t drink to spend money on alcohol. If you want alcohol, ask if you can bring your own.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 20/10/2025 08:25

Going against the grain but I personally wouldn't drink anything if that was on offer. Wine gives me a headache and beer fills me up too much. A lot of people have a bottle of vodka or gin kicking about even if they don't drink it themselves as its not like they go off

SALaw · 20/10/2025 08:23

I don’t drink wine or beer so always take my drinks choices with me when going to dinner or drinks at someone’s house as I can’t expect them to accommodate every choice.

TenGreatFatSquirrels · 20/10/2025 08:15

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 19/10/2025 18:57

We had friends over yesterday. Just a super relaxed afternoon/ evening.

We had a cheese board and G&T (fiancé had a negroni), then played board games and drank Riesling. My friend’s husband and my fiancé went outside and (apparently) had some whiskey (not sure about the specifics).

We ate and shared a bottle of Johannisberg. went for a walk. An other board game. More drinks (I just had 1/2..).

a slice of cake and a little ice wine.

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I’d be absolutely wankered off that and have a horrific hangover (if I still drank)

miraxxx · 20/10/2025 08:14

I like cocktails myself and my liquor cabinet has the usual spirits, plus sake and soju and quite an exotic collection of liqueurs but over the last decade and more, I find that my dinner guests are happy with just wine, especially if they are an older crowd. Younger guests enjoy mixing drinks and experimenting. I don't do beer at all and no one has complained thus far.

TenGreatFatSquirrels · 20/10/2025 08:05

Arlanymor · 19/10/2025 19:40

No but it's basic hospitality - having the bare minimum. I don't have Faberge eggs ready to give out. Some digestives aren't going to break the bank, and if the gas boiler chap wants one with a quick of cup of coffee then that's just nice isn't it? Hospitality isn't about doing what is expected - it is about making your home a more hospitable place to visit. So you do the bare minimum. Which for me is coffee and biscuits - neither of which I eat/drink, but others do.

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Coffee and biscuits is about £4 all in. And doesn’t make anyone’s behaviour change. And isn’t dangerous to have in if you’re a former alcoholic.

Decent wine costs £10 a bottle. Beer £5 for four. Much much more expensive than coffee and biscuits.

TenGreatFatSquirrels · 20/10/2025 08:02

Of course that’s plenty. I don’t drink so I’m not spending £££ on a stock of booze… I get in some wine and beer and anything else people want they can buy more. My mum well knows this as she always turns up with additional wine bc she knows I won’t have enough in for her preferences.

Peoppe rarely get in fancy soft drinks for me. Usually I just get water or squash offered so I think me spending £30 extra on just drinks (doubling my weekly food shop!) for them is quite enough.

RampantIvy · 20/10/2025 07:38

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 19/10/2025 17:43

I would be really surprised, tbh!

But I wouldn’t consider you bad hosts. I (usually) visit people because I enjoy their company. Not their liquor cabinet!

Really? I think it is pretty unusual to be offered a range of spirits these days.

As a gin drinker, with friends who also drink gin we would offer wine, beer, G and T or soft drinks. We don't keep other spirits in the house as we don't drink them.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 20/10/2025 06:32

DiscoBob · 19/10/2025 19:27

Sounds fab! I'm coming round yours! 😂 X

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The more the merrier! 🤣 x

shhblackbag · 19/10/2025 20:06

shhblackbag · 19/10/2025 20:03

Of course. Make sure the wine is decent.

Or ask them to bring their own if you don't drink.

Cuwins · 19/10/2025 20:04

SocksAndTheCity · 19/10/2025 20:02

Me neither, and like @Cuwins I don't find that it makes anyone better company so I don't buy it. I don't object to anybody bringing their own though.

I would have still and fizzy water plus ginger beer and virgin mojitos, as well as tea and coffee

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Thank you! I was beginning to think I was completely alone in that

shhblackbag · 19/10/2025 20:03

Of course. Make sure the wine is decent.

SocksAndTheCity · 19/10/2025 20:02

Garamousalata · 19/10/2025 19:13

I don’t offer any alcohol, as I don’t drink. No one complains and they keep coming.

Me neither, and like @Cuwins I don't find that it makes anyone better company so I don't buy it. I don't object to anybody bringing their own though.

I would have still and fizzy water plus ginger beer and virgin mojitos, as well as tea and coffee

Cuwins · 19/10/2025 19:48

Arlanymor · 19/10/2025 19:40

No but it's basic hospitality - having the bare minimum. I don't have Faberge eggs ready to give out. Some digestives aren't going to break the bank, and if the gas boiler chap wants one with a quick of cup of coffee then that's just nice isn't it? Hospitality isn't about doing what is expected - it is about making your home a more hospitable place to visit. So you do the bare minimum. Which for me is coffee and biscuits - neither of which I eat/drink, but others do.

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Fair enough good for you. I don’t consider alcohol the bare minimum at all- it’s expensive, makes some people behave badly and completely unnecessary to me.

Cuwins · 19/10/2025 19:46

Monty27 · 19/10/2025 19:36

Is it ok if your guests brought their own drinks? Plus you cater for guests in my experience.

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Yes of course if they want to

GypsyQueeen · 19/10/2025 19:41

Reminds me of when someone I knew was on Come dine with me. One of the guests arrived & asked for Champagne 🍾 😆🤣
I mean if they want Champagne 🍾 they should bring their own!! 😂

Arlanymor · 19/10/2025 19:40

Cuwins · 19/10/2025 19:35

I wouldn’t expect you to have biscuits though- if you choose too then that’s up to you.
I have a friend who doesn’t eat any sugary stuff- if I went to her house I wouldn’t expect biscuits and would be upset she thought it necessary to buy them just for me, what a waste of her money and she must think I’m the sort of person who would judge her for not having them. When at her house I would expect what she has so dessert would likely be cheese and crackers or fruit salad not chocolate cake.

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No but it's basic hospitality - having the bare minimum. I don't have Faberge eggs ready to give out. Some digestives aren't going to break the bank, and if the gas boiler chap wants one with a quick of cup of coffee then that's just nice isn't it? Hospitality isn't about doing what is expected - it is about making your home a more hospitable place to visit. So you do the bare minimum. Which for me is coffee and biscuits - neither of which I eat/drink, but others do.

DedododoDedadada · 19/10/2025 19:39

I want even thinking spirits as alternatives, more chilled water, tea, coffee...

Monty27 · 19/10/2025 19:36

Cuwins · 19/10/2025 17:59

Honestly it wouldn’t even occur to me to buy alcohol or that anyone would need alcohol to have a good evening. Also I have no idea what’s any good having never drunk alcohol so you probably wouldn’t want me choosing your wine anyway!

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Is it ok if your guests brought their own drinks? Plus you cater for guests in my experience.

Silverbirchleaf · 19/10/2025 19:36

Absolutely fine, and what I would offer.

Waitingfordoggo · 19/10/2025 19:36

We don’t drink much and when we do it’s only beer or cider. So when we have guests, we offer beer, cider or wine (don’t drink wine ourselves but happy to buy a couple of bottles when guests come, and they usually bring a bottle too). We’ll usually get a couple of bottles of Prosecco too. We don’t tend to have spirits in as we don’t drink them, but our friends know this so they bring their own vodka if they want it (we have soft drinks to mix with).

As a guest, I often want a mug of tea- yes, even at an evening event- but I’m quite happy to make it myself if you point me in the direction of the kettle and tea bags!

Cuwins · 19/10/2025 19:35

Arlanymor · 19/10/2025 19:16

But it's called hospitality isn't it? I also drink twig tea (peppermint, ginger, you name it) like it's going out of fashion and often take my own to places. But when people come to me, I do equip myself with the bare minimum. I don't eat biscuits either but I've always got some digestives and hob nobs ready to go if needed.

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I wouldn’t expect you to have biscuits though- if you choose too then that’s up to you.
I have a friend who doesn’t eat any sugary stuff- if I went to her house I wouldn’t expect biscuits and would be upset she thought it necessary to buy them just for me, what a waste of her money and she must think I’m the sort of person who would judge her for not having them. When at her house I would expect what she has so dessert would likely be cheese and crackers or fruit salad not chocolate cake.

TurnThatLightOn · 19/10/2025 19:28

And I'm not averse to a vodka and tonic but I really wouldn't expect it

DiscoBob · 19/10/2025 19:27

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 19/10/2025 18:57

We had friends over yesterday. Just a super relaxed afternoon/ evening.

We had a cheese board and G&T (fiancé had a negroni), then played board games and drank Riesling. My friend’s husband and my fiancé went outside and (apparently) had some whiskey (not sure about the specifics).

We ate and shared a bottle of Johannisberg. went for a walk. An other board game. More drinks (I just had 1/2..).

a slice of cake and a little ice wine.

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Sounds fab! I'm coming round yours! 😂 X

TurnThatLightOn · 19/10/2025 19:26

Beer and wine is fine. Even my friends who do drink spirits don't expect spirits after dinner. Another glass of wine would do the trick.