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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my boyfriend should be more understanding that I’m ill?

117 replies

Juliee86 · 19/10/2025 16:21

I’ve had awful vomiting and diarrhoea since yesterday, I’ve not felt this unwell for a long time. I’ve been at my boyfriend’s flat since Friday, and said to him when I started feeling unwell that I was happy to go back to mine so he didn’t catch anything. He was adamant he was happy for me to stay.

This morning led in bed, I misjudged and there was a small mess on the sheet. He went mental and called me a dirty bitch and said I’d need to clean it straight away.

I was really taken aback and upset, he apologised not long after but I said I wasn’t comfortable staying any longer so went home.

If your partner is ill then you shouldn’t react like this surely?

OP posts:
JenniferBooth · 19/10/2025 18:10

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 17:55

Vomitting and the squits with a new boyfriend? I’d have been out of there like a SHOT!

even a long term boyfriend if I’d didn’t actually live with them

maintsin the mystique and all that

Edited

Yes Cant have the men seeing us as actual human beings can we.

JLou08 · 19/10/2025 18:10

My DH has done this and my initial reaction was to jump up and say its disgusting. Having someone's shit on your bed is an unpleasant experience and can be quite a shock.

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 18:10

StrikeForever · 19/10/2025 18:09

Why would you make that sweeping assumption on so little information? 🤷‍♀️

That the OP won’t leave?

Hmmm call it a feeling

StrikeForever · 19/10/2025 18:09

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 17:53

Yes I know
I meant leave the relationship

Why would you make that sweeping assumption on so little information? 🤷‍♀️

Dundeeyounger1 · 19/10/2025 18:09

He failed a basic litmus test. Painful as it is, you actually learnt something crucial about him from this experience.

foxlover47 · 19/10/2025 18:08

He’s shown you what he is , don’t ever give him your time or company again
hope you feel better soon x

Newname71 · 19/10/2025 18:07

Dump the cunt.

Pigeonsandgiraffees · 19/10/2025 18:05

He's given you very valuable information about the sort of (awful) person he is, OP. Use this information wisely. you know what to do.

(End it).

I hope you feel better soon.

Unless a person is cruel and lacking in empathy, the appropriate response would be to reassure the ill person that it's no big deal, laundry can be done, and "can I nip to the chemist to get you anything?" etc. Kindness. You're unwell!

YourAquaLion · 19/10/2025 18:02

I think it’s good that this happened as he’s shown you who he really is and now you can end it and dodge that bullet. I agree with previous posters - he is NOT someone to have kids with or grow old with!

Pomegranatecarnage · 19/10/2025 17:57

He was mean and unkind to say that and shame you for being ill.
However, at the first sign of any stomach problems I’d have been out of there….

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 17:55

Vomitting and the squits with a new boyfriend? I’d have been out of there like a SHOT!

even a long term boyfriend if I’d didn’t actually live with them

maintsin the mystique and all that

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 17:53

StrikeForever · 19/10/2025 17:30

They don’t live together. He’s just a boyfriend 🙄

Yes I know
I meant leave the relationship

ilovesooty · 19/10/2025 17:51

Boomer55 · 19/10/2025 17:49

If you had a tummy bug you should have gone home. Not good for others to witness.

Perhaps she would have struggled with the journey. And she did offer.

Boomer55 · 19/10/2025 17:49

If you had a tummy bug you should have gone home. Not good for others to witness.

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 19/10/2025 17:47

PotatoFan · 19/10/2025 16:47

After any time you’ve had an upset stomach, vomiting, diarrhea, never ever ever trust a fart

Words to live by (seriously)

pikkumyy77 · 19/10/2025 17:45

Dirty bitch? That is language that should never be used by a partner.

Greenqueen40 · 19/10/2025 17:41

He thinks it's acceptable to call you a bitch already, you aren't even living together yet! Please get rid of this vile prick

AmericaIsSoAwesome · 19/10/2025 17:41

You poor thing OP how unkind of him. I'd never feel comfortable around him again. I hope you feel better soon x

StrikeForever · 19/10/2025 17:38

LittleBitofBread · 19/10/2025 17:32

She didn’t say they did live together Hmm

Well she did ask him if she should go home and he persuaded her to stay at his place! 🙄

DiscoBob · 19/10/2025 17:35

It's vile that he called you a dirty bitch. Any bloke that said that would never be spoken to again by me.

Obviously you were going to clean it up and he should've been much kinder.

Please chuck the horrible prick.

LittleBitofBread · 19/10/2025 17:32

StrikeForever · 19/10/2025 17:30

They don’t live together. He’s just a boyfriend 🙄

She didn’t say they did live together Hmm

StrikeForever · 19/10/2025 17:30

Rogerthat14 · 19/10/2025 16:32

You shit the bed?

He is appalling but you won’t leave and this will stagger on and you’re probably have children with him and it will be an absolutely torrid mess

They don’t live together. He’s just a boyfriend 🙄

Borgonzola · 19/10/2025 17:17

this happened to me not once but twice. Both times DP was calm and unbothered and offered to help clean up (but also left the room at my request as I was so embarrassed). I could list a lot of things my DP does that wind me up or cause issues with us but that’s not one of them, because it would be cruel and unfair.

GingerPaste · 19/10/2025 17:16

Before your ‘accident’ how was he treating you?

It was totally beyond your control and he’s treated you pretty despicably, I think.

This would be a good time to assess the relationship…

ForZanyAquaViewer · 19/10/2025 17:11

OP, if someone calls you a ‘dirty bitch’, please dump them immediately. Do not ever feel the need to seek second opinions on that. This is a horrible man.