Fed up of ‘sexual’ dynamic between DP and my friend

Sounds fair, but also sounds like a walk in the park compared to your longtime friend telling you to peg your husband.

Basically she’s manipulated a conversation to let your husband know that the sex act you don’t wish to participate in, she is up for!

He has told her you don’t want to participate in this sex act which is extremely unchivalrous and a betrayal of your private life.

It doesn’t look good if he happily chats about intimate sex acts with her.

He is either fantasising about her or will at her encouragement, try out this sex act with her.

My husband would shut down immediately any kind of talk about our bedroom life or sex in general with another woman because it’s crossing a line.

Gross.

I agree with a PP. She is a shit stirrer and a sex pest.

Oh yeah- and an attention-seeker as pp said

I'd go batshit at DP for discussing private things. And I'd lose contact with her. Probably not before telling her what I think. She;ll label you as a prude but I doubt other people have failed to notice her behaviour.

She is not your friend.
She tried to make you look stupid, in front of other friends, for having sexual boundaries.
There would be no place in my life for her anymore.

It just sounds like she is getting off on it tbh,just because she isn't into men in general doesn't mean she doesn't get a thrill.out of talking the way she does, your boyfriend might think she is safe because she is a lesbian. It is so out of line.

Dear friend
Mind your own fucking business.

Dear boyfriend
Never going to happen, (pegging).
Stop telling our private business to randoms.

Inappropriate on both sides. Nothing wrong with just saying so politely.

How would your partner feel if you did the same with a friend of his.

For most people this kind of boundary can be seen from space. Weird to be so inappropriate and not even realise it.

This kind of behaviour is a great test to use to distinguish who you should have in your life. Your partner might be forgiven as it’s hard to know if the friend is driving this behavior and he’s uncertain how to curb it.

But if a gf of mine started talking explicitly about sex I would expect my dh to be immediately swerving the conversation away and it making it comfortable for everyone.

There is a vast group of people who Can’t
Handle Their Alcohol and no one will tell them as they are what, too embarrassed?

I know my SIL is a shocking drunk, and she knows it, but it doesn’t stop her.

I had a lesbian friend like this. I still was upset as she was hugging my boyfriend for a long time. I had to be honest with her and tell her I wasn’t comfortable with the dynamic. She may encounter people that aren’t aware she is a lesbian and get a massive shock when somebody isn’t comfortable.

Just tell her to wind her neck in.She prob thinks she sounds really cool,but she’s an attention seeker.

She is not your friend. Just drop her. It doesn’t sound like your DP is particularly keen on her either if he says he finds her intimidating. She sounds over bearing at best, a bully at worst. Just drop her. Life’s too short.

We had a friend who was a lesbian and she was talking to DH about her boobs and being inappropriate around it.

I wasn't happy, but they were like, well im a lesbian and not into guys so it's OK to joke sexually like this together, it's just banter.

But it's not, it's a line crossed and I said how would he feel if I was discussing penis sizes with a mate of his or showing my boobs off.

He did shut it down from then on

Trying to shame you into changing your mind about preferences when it comes to sex shows she is not your friend.
I thought you would say early 20s at most.
And I new your DH would use the excuse of she isnt in to men so its fine to talk to her about sex. Typical naff excuse .

No just no. I was going to say if she is a lesbian he may feel more comfortable talking to her because her views her as non threatening. This is a step too far, way too far. If you renamed this thread my friend has told me to peg my husband and has taught him how to clean his butthole there would be a mutiny.

Sex positive just seems another expression for an unpleasant person.

She’s not your friend so I’d stop contact now. Your DH is being a twat. Is he really someone you want to stay married to?

Most “sex positive” people either grew up in an overly religious household or are simply attention seekers. It is a bit immature. My advice would be to set boundaries with your partner. Your partner may not be aware that they are crossing a line.

Ew disgusting!

Sounds like she fancies him and wants to show him how adventurous in the bedroom she is.

I would be very upset if my DP was engaging in the conversation too.

Until the day she is.

Attention seeking using the shock factor

How old are you all? This sounds very immature. But I would be mostly angry at your DH . Its very disrespectful to you too talk in such detail about your sex life. Or pressure you to do something you have previously said you would not. Making you feel guilty or mean for not doing it is awful on so many levels .

Regardless if your friend is straight or gay, she isn't much of a friend, if she's trying to pressurise you into doing a sexual act you're not comfortable with. In her drunken ramblings, she's inadvertently dropped your partner in the shit, because now you know he's been discussing your sex life with her. Talking about sex to all in sundry, isn't what I'd call 'sex positive', I'd call it 'attention seeking' behaviour. I'm open minded when it comes to sex, but I don't discuss it with everyone and I definitely wouldn't with my friend's partner! It's inappropriate and yes, it's over-stepping boundaries. I would be stepping back from this friendship and you need a frank conversation with your partner, because he needs to learn boundaries.

You lost me at "sex positive". Friend or not, you have major problems if your DP is discussing your sex life with another woman. Massively inappropriate imo.

Regardless. I think she’s getting some kind of thrill from this. I wouldn’t be so sure that she wouldn’t. Especially as it all sounds so forbidden between them.

plenty of straight people have a bit of a dalliance with someone the same sex once in their life and yet would say they’re straight. No reason it couldn’t go the other way.

id be reading the riot act to your boyfriend and say it’s inappropriate