Fed up of ‘sexual’ dynamic between DP and my friend

Just really inappropriate on both counts. DP for discussing it and then her for saying you should.
You should do what makes you feel good and comfortable and no one should be pressurising you.
Not a friend

How would she know? If she’s gay then I presume she doesn’t routinely peg men. I’d rather divorce my husband than peg him.

There all sorts of reasons why people “make friends”. It’s not always to be friendly. Even if they like you.

Sometimes it’s because they enjoy comparing themself favourable to you. Sometimes because it’s because they like getting under your skin.
Many reasons, all at once.

I tend to downgrade the Not “That Well Hidden Agenda Burdened” friends to acquaintance. And gently, gradually ghost them out of my earshot.

Took me a long, long time to work out that it wasn’t me being paranoid that not all my friends seemed agenda-free , and I was allowed to have boundaries, where I wanted them, for my own reasons, that did not require justification to anybody else.

Doesn’t have to be a big hoo-her. Actually based on one of my own experiences the hoo-hear seemed to be the entire end goal. It can be done quietly, slowly, with an eye on not rising to any stray bait slung your way as the slow walk away takes place.

If the thing he wants to try that you don't is a threesome, that would explain a lot, and I wouldn't trust either of them an inch.

In fact I'd dump the pair of them right now, anyway.

Oh god yes the laddettes, they are now doing podcasts about sex during menopause still trying to be "edgy"

Nailed it!

In my experience, sex positive gay men and sex positive lesbians both have something in common - they're massively into men

I used to work with someone who wouldn't shut up about anal sex (and how much she liked it). I think she thought it would make her really popular with the blokes in the office. This was the late 90s, and anyone around that time will remember the Ladette culture where a lot of women felt they have to compete with men, even in being crass and vulgar.

Forget about them, they both sound awful.
What is going on with YOU that you would tolerate this?
Do you really think this is normal behaviour?
Do you actually still find him attractive?
The mind boggles at what some women will accept.

All so seedy and childish and just… gross

to think they’re in their mid thirties is depressing

to think they might have children is terrifying

'Sex positive' doesn't mean making your friend feel awkward or trying to make them do something they don't want to. That's the opposite of sex positive.

She might be open about sex but she certainly isn't positive.

This person is not your friend.

Your DP has VERY poor boundaries. Why is he even engaging in this sort of chat?

This

I feel like I live in a parallel dimension to people these days

This 👆

I used to think I was fairly widely travelled, but this is all like farting in a lift. Wrong on many levels.

She isnt "sex positive" she's a stupid ignorant twat.

Sex positive doesnt mean trying to persuade someone into doing something sexually that makes them feel uncomfortable. Thats like, the opposite of sex positive.

Both of them are disrespectful idiots and frankly, I'd be considering kicking them both out of my life.

She sounds massively attention-seeking. And her ‘my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard’ style is transparently desperate.

I suspect she’s stirring by blabbing on about the sec act you don’t like. So she’s not a friend.

Time to spend less time with her.

@Tanya285 exactly not sure why the friend is getting all the blame!

Agree with this. Would a male DH friend talk to you similarly then tell your husband how to have sex with his own wife?

This isn't a friend OP.

I would tell her to go f* herself and no longer be her friend if I was in your shoes.

DH is to blame for bringing up his fantasies that you don't want to partake in surely?

pegging? nice.

Why is he telling her he'd like to try pegging and that you're not into it?

That's you're private business and I'd be even more pissed off with him than I was with her.

It's all very well in a close friendship setting to potentially talk about your own sexual experiences or preferences. But not to try and 'suggest' that another person in the group should partake in a sex act they haven't been interested in before. And that she and your bloke were talking about your lack of participation in this act.

Yeah, I'm not surprised you're pissed off. I'd say they're both to blame. But partner shouldn't have brought up what you do or don't do/like. I guess he might have said he liked it, but still it feels like a boundary has been crossed.

I wouldn't put up with a man who would discuss my sexual preferences with others whether positively or negatively.

It's disrespectful and in appropriate.

He's not intimidated by her at all - he is absolutely loving the attention snd thinks he has a chance regardless of her sexual preference.

You can do better than him.

"Sex positive" is another one of this wanky, "I'm a different, special person who needs endless attention" terms why people use to excuse all sorts of shit.

She has to be absolutely insufferable and her behaviour here isn't the only part of it. There will be more than you find tedious and painful. There always is with people like her.

Why are you not more annoyed at your dp?
For discussing with someone else a sex act you've told him you're not interested in.
It's very weird imo and he's out of line.

Your friend is as well but had your dp not said anything to her about it, she wouldn't have had anything to say.

Sounds like she does not have any (no?) boundaries...especially when drunk

Give her a wide berth