Fed up of ‘sexual’ dynamic between DP and my friend

Completely agree!

I would be horrified if DH told one of my friends something I wasn’t interested in in bed. And then he used it against me in a manipulative way.

They both sound awful

This why we need the laugh reaction 😁

Some 'sex positive' people have the most negative, vile attitudes to other peoples enjoyment of sex. If they want it or enjoy it then they think that need should be fulfilled, who cares whether the other person wants to.

And trying to act the 'cool girl' and shame you into it by saying it in front of your husband is absolutely vile.

Does this woman have daughters?

Your DP is completely out of order too, was he aware that the 'friend' was going to bring it up to you?

YANBU OP I would tell your friend- thanks, but I don’t need sex education. Then change the subject. Repeat like a broken record.

Same for your DP. If it was my DP I would tell him either stop talking about our sex life.

this 💯

OP there are nicer men out there who will love and respect you and not go whining to other people about you not wanting to F them up the ass. Promise.

Also she is not your friend.

Put them both in the bin - along with any chat about pegging! 👌🏻

I knew it would be bumhole related

I really really wouldn’t be sure about that.
Regardless, she sounds gross and he sounds disloyal.

Tell your DH to stop talking to people about your sex life.

If you value this friendship (I wouldn't) tell her to stfu.

If you don't value the friendship don't meet up with her anymore.

They both need to grow up. The I'm so edgy sex talk needs to stop. I'm embarrassed for them.

😀I loved nighty night Julia davis is a genuis

I couldn’t continue seeing either of them. I have no problem saying my tastes are quite vanilla and this would be a massive turn off for me. And she sounds too crass to be a friend of mine. Never even mind that he’s discussing you in a sexual context with others.

Well, you obviously like her as she's your friend, but I'd be so annoyed by this that I'd be done with the friendship. She's crossing lines and ought to know better. Being 'sex positive' is one thing, but some boundaries exist for very good reasons. Talking to your friend's partner about sex when you're not around isn't acceptable. Neither is trying to involve yourself in your friend's sex life without specific request.

ETA: And your partner is a creep for having these conversations, too. Instant ick.

“Sex positivity” doesn’t include pressuring your friend to engage in a sexual act that they aren’t interested in. I’d tell her to shut her mouth and keep the fuck away from my sex life. Make it clear that it is not up for discussion with her.

I’d also tell my DH to be more discreet about our sex life.

😂 Julia Davis in Nighty Night as Jill:
'Did she take it up the rear then?....Cos you know, I would take it up the rear till I am blue in the face given half the chance!'

Nighty Night was such a funny series. It would never be on the TV today.

honestly i don't know how people judge their friends these days
(thinking of post earlier today about a couple supposedly friends met on hol but end up sponging off them)
she is obvs looking for a shag
as others have said
get out of her company!!

If a man did this, or one of your husbands friends did this, you might not be so nice about it.

You have a DP problem.

She’s trying to appear like she’s someone that does it all and you dont so she becomes appealing and attractive to your man. I’d never mix the two together again or be her friend

The next time this happens (though I hope it doesnt), quite clearly and loudly state "Please can you stop sexually harassing/intimidating me".

Because that's exactly what's happening. Thats no friend and your husband is awful too, I wouldn't let that go at all. Completely wrong.

You need to bin her and read him the riot act and follow through. Private stuff being betrayed is utterly wrong and he needs to know it. Be harsh.

Classic case of what you allow will continue.
Lines have been crossed which should have been drawn a long time ago.
I have never been in this situation so difficult for me to give practical advice but this 'friend' would be totally binned.
As for your partner he wants something you can't provide (no judgement for not doing so) however will his courosity (or sex drive) get the better of him?

Exactly this ,if she was sex positive she wouldn’t be pestering you to do something you are not interested in .

If "sex positive" means a loud mouthed, crass bitch then it's a good description for her. She's humiliating you in front of your face. Is she jealous of your relationship with your DP and trying to destabilise it? Is she bisexual and maybe would like to shag him? Would she like to shag you? Either way, she is not your friend.

She sounds like a foul mouthed slag, real scum class. I'd tell her that to her face being drunk is not an excuse.
I do not have a problem upsetting some people but I doubt she'd give a toss anymore than I would saying it.

If she was a man she wouldn’t be ‘sex positive’, she’d be a pervy creep. She is a pervy creep. She can do what she wants with her own sex life but when she’s butting into others that’s crossing the line.