I only really enjoy life with alcohol

30 replies

Mushroo · 19/10/2025 09:43

I am a chronic over thinker / worrier. My head just doesn’t shut up, ever. I am constantly thinking about what I need to do, but also procrastinating and then feeling guilty about procrastinating. For example, even if im relaxing and watching tv or a film, I can’t concentrate and I end up checking things on my phone and doom scrolling.

I don’t enjoy conversations really, as I worry about saying the wrong thing, or I just don’t really care what people are talking about.

However, if I have say, a large glass of wine, I feel relaxed, everything is more fun, I can actually concentrate on what I’m doing and enjoy the activity. I become fully engrossed in the task - it’s like the background noise is switched off and I’m fun. I actually enjoy conversations! I don’t feel constantly worried I’m saying the wrong thing. I can sit and watch a whole movie!

I vividly remember being about 18 and thinking I finally understood why people looked forward to the weekend - for the first time I enjoyed being at parties, going for meals etc.

Im not an alcoholic, well, maybe I am, but I only drink a glass or so on a Friday / Saturday , but I honestly think I’d enjoy life more if I could drink more, (I also think my work would improve but I obviously don’t drink at work!)

The problem though is the anxiety / overthinking - would medication replicate that large glass of wine? Or do I just need to accept this is who I am.

(I’ve tried exercise, meditation, yoga, going for walks. None of it works as well).

OP posts:

3luckystars · 19/10/2025 10:32

There is a movie about this, a group pf
teachers experimenting with keeping blood alcohol levels at a certain level, it looks really funny.

Would you consider cold water swimming ? I’m just in another thread about drugs and cold water swimming has the same euphoric feeling on your body and mind as cocaine does, but the effect lasts for 9 hours instead of 20 mins. It’s might be worth a try ?

Also I saw this diagram on instagram, it’s not my diagram, I hope it’s ok to post it:

whitewine25 · 19/10/2025 10:28

yes i am the same and i have a wine every evening

IvedoneitagainhaventI · 19/10/2025 10:17

I've had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol all my adult life because of the very reasons you talk about.
I was chronically shy growing up and at 18 I discovered when i'd had a drink I could actually talk to people.
And every social interaction I ever have in everyday life results in me sitting in the evening ruminating about it and worrying I'd said/ done something stupid.

I've had to monitor my drinking all my life because I'm constantly aware how easy it is to slip into mental dependendence on it. I have done quite long periods of total abstinence.

I did find CBT very helpful in giving me tools for dealing with the intrusive thoughts. That and the intermittent use of propranolol has helped me survive.

Evaka · 19/10/2025 09:49

SSRIs stopped my partner's brain whirring like that. I also lean a bit on booze when stressed but I find valerian root to be pretty effective too. It's natural, over the counter and works wonders for some. Worth a shot?

GreyChicken · 19/10/2025 09:48

I'm similar with overthinking and I've tried everything 'natural' - diet, exercise, mindfulness, therapy - none helped significantly.

I've finally accepted I need help and have started taking an SSRI - it's been hugely helpful and I have no desire to drink to relax anymore.

Similar to you I didn't drink loads but it was the only thing that calmed my mind. But the consequences on your body from alcohol are so awful, especially as you get older, it's worth considering medication?

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