Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Viewer stole from my house?

607 replies

Calcaata · 18/10/2025 20:29

I have a Diptique candle, 3 wick and cost £180. I’ve had two house viewings today, not done by myself but by the estate agent. I’ve come home and it’s missing.

Aibu to expect the estate agent to reimburse me?? I won’t be able to contact them now until Monday.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Calcaata · 19/10/2025 20:45

Rothschild OP here, just back from burning some £50s at the bonfire pit. Apologies in all honesty I’ve not read all the comments, as it’s moved so fast.

I would like to assure people I’m not “gullible”, I didn’t save up every last penny, but it and then sit in the dark ever since, eating crackers and too scared to burn said candle. If that were true though and I told you they were Jacob’s crackers I’d probably get hung up and demanded to give an explanation as to why I didn’t buy Tesco Own Brand.

I’d also like to reassure people I didn’t wake up this morning feeling smug because username124 from somewhere in the world knows that me a completely stranger with no name/face/age own the very elitist, exclusive, definitely can’t be bought at John Lewis candle.

It’s actually quite shocked me that people have deemed this theft as ok. It shows where your morals really are. I treat everyone as an equal. I wouldn’t steal from anyone - regardless of whether they could replace it or not. But that makes me glad to be me and not some of the questionable people on this thread.

(I also don’t name call because I’m not 7 and I was brought up right but there you go)

OP posts:
Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 20:45

BlackStrayCat · 19/10/2025 17:10

and it looks it.

😆

Ariel896 · 19/10/2025 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 20:43

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/10/2025 17:00

If I don't see the cry laughing emoji on this thread again it won't be too soon.

Do people really think sticking one on the end of their post hides all the passive aggressive jibes they've thrown about. They must take us for stupid.

Edited

Yes. I can now see why MN got rid of the laugh reaction,

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 20:40

HeatingFiddler · 19/10/2025 16:58

I'm very sorry you've had a bad experienced, but not all small, independent, businesses are crap.

And I am very sorry my use of emojis bothers you so much you've felt compelled to comment on it multiple times. 😉😃😂😳

And I will again.

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 20:32

HeatingFiddler · 19/10/2025 16:10

Yes. Completely hysterical.

Cheap doesn't mean 'smoke damage'. What an oversimplification of a very complex issue. Although I am not sure why I am surprised given you have displayed a rather incredible lack of critical thinking throughout this thread.

Critical thinking over a candle. And yes cheap does mean smoke damage, as I learned by buying and burning them!

Bellyblueboy · 19/10/2025 20:20

When you think about it it is strange that we allow complete strangers to wander around our homes.

they could pocket anything - a small ornament, perfume. We have small items of value sitting about that we probably don’t give much thought to.

FunkyMonks · 19/10/2025 20:19

Trouble is it’s a small minority that do this not majority and while I can understand everyone saying people shouldn’t be allowed to view/ look around without estate agent sat on shoulders as someone who has been on both sides selling and buying and I’ve had the annoyance during covid times of selling having to tell estate agent that toys had been played with in my child’s room that shouldn’t have been touched etc I also can understand how annoying and flustering it can Be to have estate agent following your every move, I once had the home owner following us around waffling on and on about the area the house and it was off putting couldn’t focus and get a feel for the house and sometimes you just need to be left alone for a quick glance.
Hope you get it sorted OP.

KittytheHare · 19/10/2025 20:16

Gosh, this has certainly taken off since yesterday. It’s so tedious seeing the virtue signalling shock about the price of the candle.
So bloody what if the Op spent €180 on a candle! People make different choices - who knew?! Her home was violated, it’s appalling that this happened.
Comparing the price of a candle to a week’s grocery shopping, or commenting that the Op can afford to replace it are beyond irrelevant, and make those posters seem particularly stupid.

StressedPartyFail · 19/10/2025 20:15

That is shocking and worrying !! And easily done. I’ve always wondered to many people have things go missing when selling up?!

To the poster who said, “can’t afford to burn it” 😂😂 what the hell. I actually have a few expensive candles that I haven’t burnt but I use as decor in my house. Judge me 🤣🤣🤣🤣

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/10/2025 20:09

BobbyBrewstersMagicTorch · 19/10/2025 20:08

£180 for a CANDLE??

OMG is that how much it was??!!!
I wouldn't know because nobody on this entire thread has mentioned that!

BobbyBrewstersMagicTorch · 19/10/2025 20:08

£180 for a CANDLE??

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 20:04

SushiForMe · 19/10/2025 18:40

Ooh I might try their pot pourri…

It’s amazing!

Differentforgirls · 19/10/2025 20:00

U53rName · 19/10/2025 18:31

My DH says a magpie stole his metal watch from a windowsill. I always wonder if he’s full of it and misplaced it. Is this really a thing?

Yes. I had one of those jewelry boxes that looked like a wardrobe and I’d taken my ring off in case it hurt my baby son’s head and out it in it. It was on the middle window sill in my bedroom and the window was open. Big gust of wind and the whole thing blew out onto the top of the porch. By the time my husband managed to get up there to get it, they had took it all 🤣

gillefc82 · 19/10/2025 19:50

@HeatingFiddler to a certain degree I agree regarding niche producers often making superior quality products. I’m a bit of a self confessed perfume snob, so prefer to buy from high-end niche perfume houses vs expensive designer brand equivalents (think Initio Parfums vs Guerlain L’Art & La Matière collection). I generally find that as they use better raw materials and specialise in just perfumes, they deliver a superior product with much better projection and longevity and I can avoid having to overspray / continuously top up through the day. Prices are usually similar per bottle (£250-300) but from my experience and in my opinion, the performance is significantly higher from the niche brands vs the designer perfumes (even their exclusive lines), so gives better value for money.

Where I can’t agree with you is from an earlier post when you said “either OP can afford £180 for a candle, in which case she can easily replace it and it's a non-story, or she can't and she shouldn't have bought something she couldn't replace”.

The fact is, some thieving shit has violated @Calcaata’s home. Her ability (or lack of) to replace said stolen item is utterly immaterial. She is perfectly entitled to have an expensive item in her home (and openly displayed), without having to worry about it being stolen - either by an employee of the company she is paying a fee to provide a service (marketing/selling her house) or by the members of the public who are being given access to her property solely under the auspices of having an interest in purchasing said property.

In fact, had she chosen to have it situated in the middle of her hallway, displayed on a tall marble pedestal, surrounded by flashing neon arrows pointing to it with 4-foot high backlit lettering beneath it declaring “£180 designer brand candle”, that STILL wouldn’t have justified it being stolen!

@Calcaata likely has the financial means to go out tomorrow and buy a replacement candle….BUT she shouldn’t have to! People (grown arse adults no less!) should be more than capable of touring a house without getting sticky fingers. Estate agents should be conducting and managing viewings in such a way that there is no opportunity for viewers to surreptitiously pocket something whilst in the property. Finally, the EA companies should have clear policies and procedures in place to both ensure that the employees entrusted with keys/access to properties have been properly trained and vetted, and that should any employee subsequently be found to have abused their position/acted inappropriately or unlawfully, definitive and proportionate action is taken to address, make whole and avoid further damage.

There is zero justification for stealing and the victim’s ability to afford to replace the item is completely irrelevant. Claiming otherwise just comes across as another veiled judgement at OP’s choice to spend her money differently to how you would.

Flinderskleepers · 19/10/2025 19:49

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 19/10/2025 18:43

You don't actually think posters are expressing surprise at the price of the candle because really they want to be able to buy them do you?

I think it's way steep for a candle but to suggest that's because I'm jealous is laughable. We're allowed to think things are overpriced because, you know, they are overpriced, there's no ulterior reason and if someone gave me £180 with no strings attached I wouldn't be heading off to the candle shop 😁

People can think whatever they want, however it's completely irrelevant to the post. Whether it's something that cost 1p or £180, fact it is was stolen and the OP is asking for advice about that. It's really not that hard.

DotAndCarryOne2 · 19/10/2025 19:48

grumpygrape · 19/10/2025 19:34

Haven’t sold a property for over 30 years and not bought for 28 years so wonder why EAs don’t like sellers doing their own showings ?

OP, your choice and cost of candle shouldn’t become the main point of the thread. It’s gone and the only people in the property apart from yourself(ves) are the EA and viewers.

I think I’d be contacting the Police, giving the EA the incident number and telling them to give the Police the viewers’ details. Unless, of course, the EA is able to ‘find’ your goods and get them back to you.

EAs can charge a fee for showing a prospective buyer around and they can get feedback while things are fresh in the buyers’ mind. We only ever used the EA for viewings once and had them on camera stealing from our garden. Didn’t trust them after that. I think if OP reports the theft to the police and gets a crime number, then tells the EA that’s what she’s done, the item is more likely to reappear anonymously. I’ve seen these candles and a three wick one is large and heavy - difficult for a prospective buyer to hide. My money is on the EA having taken it after the client had left - they would remain behind to lock up and would have the opportunity.

grumpygrape · 19/10/2025 19:34

Haven’t sold a property for over 30 years and not bought for 28 years so wonder why EAs don’t like sellers doing their own showings ?

OP, your choice and cost of candle shouldn’t become the main point of the thread. It’s gone and the only people in the property apart from yourself(ves) are the EA and viewers.

I think I’d be contacting the Police, giving the EA the incident number and telling them to give the Police the viewers’ details. Unless, of course, the EA is able to ‘find’ your goods and get them back to you.

PortSalutSherryHello · 19/10/2025 19:23

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 19/10/2025 18:43

You don't actually think posters are expressing surprise at the price of the candle because really they want to be able to buy them do you?

I think it's way steep for a candle but to suggest that's because I'm jealous is laughable. We're allowed to think things are overpriced because, you know, they are overpriced, there's no ulterior reason and if someone gave me £180 with no strings attached I wouldn't be heading off to the candle shop 😁

Or course people are jealous.

Some other people are just judgemental and think they have some worth of ordained power of what makes something overpriced.

Neither are good looks.

paulhollywoodshairgel · 19/10/2025 19:18

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 18/10/2025 21:22

Fuck me, people are paying £180 for candles? How the other half live...

That was my first thought!! That’s a fortnights food shop 😂😂 I’d defo be super pissed that someone stole it though… hope they have a ring doorbell

Smileybutwily · 19/10/2025 19:10

19lottie82 · 19/10/2025 17:39

Oh ffs, I was waiting for this, there’s always one!! 🤦‍♀️

One?
Hold on to your hat, there's waaaaay more than one stupid person that doesn't comprehend we are all different!

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 19/10/2025 19:00

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/10/2025 18:49

I think there's a big difference between expressing surprise such as "gosh that's an awful lot of money for a candle" (which is still totally irrelevant to the point of the thread anyway) and "hahaha, your such a gullible mug OP. They must have seen you coming".

Maybe I'm the unusual one but if I think of a product (can't actually think of example) where I think people are gullible to pay so much for it the last thing I'd be wishing was that I could afford to do the same, I'd be whatever the opposite of jealous is.

I just can't equate fools and their money being easily parted with jealousy

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 19/10/2025 18:49

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 19/10/2025 18:43

You don't actually think posters are expressing surprise at the price of the candle because really they want to be able to buy them do you?

I think it's way steep for a candle but to suggest that's because I'm jealous is laughable. We're allowed to think things are overpriced because, you know, they are overpriced, there's no ulterior reason and if someone gave me £180 with no strings attached I wouldn't be heading off to the candle shop 😁

I think there's a big difference between expressing surprise such as "gosh that's an awful lot of money for a candle" (which is still totally irrelevant to the point of the thread anyway) and "hahaha, your such a gullible mug OP. They must have seen you coming".

DotAndCarryOne2 · 19/10/2025 18:48

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/10/2025 17:02

Think my 3 wick was 4.99 from Aldi / got it last week

It looks it too. Nothing like Diptyque.

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 19/10/2025 18:48

Sellingseashells · 19/10/2025 14:08

YABU. You can either afford a candle that expensive, in which case you can afford to replace it easily. Or you can’t.

They shouldn’t have stolen. However, it’s a candle. It’s not like they stole something actually valuable, as PPs have said.

By that logic you'd have infinite wealth, how would that work, I save up to buy (say) an expensive car and because I've done that I can afford to keep replacing it? That makes no sense at all

Or does it only apply to candles?

Swipe left for the next trending thread