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AIBU?

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Original poster

Could he find someone to have a child with

86 replies

ILoveAnjanaVasan · 18/10/2025 20:08

Crazy question, and I haven't thought this through or spoken to my partner about it so don't take it too seriously!
I am much older than him and can't have kids. He was undecided about having his own children but we got together anyway and he is happy with me.
I have always felt a bit guilty about him not having the opportunity to have his own children and while pondering this I wondered if he should try and have a child with someone else. So my crazy question is this. Could he find someone who is single and wanted to share parenting with him. Maybe someone who hasn't met the right person or who is gay? Is this a thing and has anyone ever heard of this happening in real life?

OP posts:
Original poster
ILoveAnjanaVasan · 18/10/2025 20:16

Louisetopaz21 · 18/10/2025 20:15

I think you are very naive, of course they will be in a co parenting relationship. You would be crazy to suggest this. She will always be there.

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Oh, yes a co-parenting relationship of course they would have to be. I don't want to be in a poly amorous relationship or anything like that.

OP posts:
LetsFlyHighAway · 18/10/2025 20:15

No child deserves to actively be brought into a situation with separated parents and the lack of stability that brings. Would you be interested in fostering or adopting and building a family together?

Gothzilla · 18/10/2025 20:15

Has he mentioned wanting children recently?? If not a bit odd you wanting to propose this idea to him

Strictlycomeparent · 18/10/2025 20:15

Possibly. But these kind of intentional co-parenting situation usually come about through friendship.

Louisetopaz21 · 18/10/2025 20:15

ILoveAnjanaVasan · 18/10/2025 20:12

They don't have to have sex or be in a relationship to have a child together

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I think you are very naive, of course they will be in a co parenting relationship. You would be crazy to suggest this. She will always be there.

Original poster
ILoveAnjanaVasan · 18/10/2025 20:14

Lavender14 · 18/10/2025 20:13

Do you want to be a parent?

I am a parent, my children are grown up. I wouldn't want to be a full time mum again but would support him if he did (want to do it part time)

OP posts:
SquishyGloopyBum · 18/10/2025 20:13

this is very odd - if he has told you he was undecided and is happy with you. Why don’t you believe him?

I don’t want kids. If my H made such an offer to me I’d be highly offended to be honest.

Lavender14 · 18/10/2025 20:13

Do you want to be a parent?

Original poster
ILoveAnjanaVasan · 18/10/2025 20:12

Louisetopaz21 · 18/10/2025 20:11

Could you live with him having sex with another woman and her always being in her life. I think he has two choices to accept if he is with you that he remain childless or to end the relationship. However this is his decision to make and you need to be mindful you aren't pushing him away. Niot everyone wants children and are happy with life as it is.

They don't have to have sex or be in a relationship to have a child together

OP posts:
Louisetopaz21 · 18/10/2025 20:11

Could you live with him having sex with another woman and her always being in her life. I think he has two choices to accept if he is with you that he remain childless or to end the relationship. However this is his decision to make and you need to be mindful you aren't pushing him away. Niot everyone wants children and are happy with life as it is.

Lemonsugarpancake · 18/10/2025 20:10

No!