Why do British people (at least on MN!) Have such issues with adults celebrating birthdays?

I absolutely agree with the last paragraph. Being selfish is also seen the worst thing on here. But sometimes it’s ok to be selfish. It’s totally fine to want one day of the year to be about you. Or to look after your own interests, its so good for your mental health to be selfish once in a while. Perhaps some of the party poopers should try it. Might put them in a better mood.

I suspect it’s a personal preference really and nothing to do with nationality.

Im Irish and adult birthdays are overlooked by my family…. Although I love mine. I get teased for booking the day off work for it and buying myself treats.

I did discuss it with my mum, she said that birthdays are for children only. Which I don’t agree with but it seems to be that opinion is quite common.

@MrsEmmelineLucas I honestly have never met one of these shorts wearing under heaters !!

I love a birthday and so do all my family

I think that’s true. See all those ‘I don’t have friends to avoid drama’ or ‘All I need is my Own Little Family’.

But I think Mn also suffers from a particularly potent dose of an ingrained cultural injunction against attention-seeking.

The worst thing you can be is an ‘attention-seeker’ for Mn. And throwing yourself a birthday party, or wanting cake, champagne and a fuss, is the ultimate in attention-seeking. The horror.

Well, my decision about my own birthday is that I don't want it acknowledged, and never tell anyone when it is, and family know not to remind me.

I am happy to celebrate other people's. In my first post on this thread, I was really referring not to people's personal choices to celebrate their milestones, but to certain workplaces that insist on inflicting 'big birthday' announcements on people without checking if that's what they want.

It's a Mumsnet thing. On here if your husband didn't get you a card or present or forgot your birthday and you're upset by that, you're told to pull yourself together and stop being so ungrateful.

In real life I don't know anyone, from 21 to 91, who doesn't like at least to have a card, a present, and to have a nice meal with a cake or something a little bit special on their birthday.

I feel that the progression of age is a privelege. My mum died aged 45, when I was 22 and I was 50 on Thursday. We should all celebrate our journeys around the sun, even if we've had a crap year. You've survived another one!!!!

Tends.
It’s not inevitable. And it’s you who decides on how you view it for your own birthday.

It's not about being ashamed of our age. But focus on age in younger people tends to be associated with increasing pressure to meet certain goals and conform to social expectations, and focus on age in older people tends to be associated with increased threat of ill health and ultimate death.. I didn't like being pressed to celebrate the former when I was younger, or the latter now I'm older. Yes, some other people's mileage may vary,

I don't have a husband, kids, parents, or siblings, and often spend my birthday alone - but I still manage to celebrate it. I do have friends who I go out for coffee or a meal with, but never on the actual day.

I also usually spend Christmas Day alone and still manage to enjoy it, but even if I didn't celebrate and was lonely I certainly wouldn't rain on anyone else's parade.

However, some posters do seem to think the world revolves around them and their wants when it comes to celebrations.

Rubbing it in? Are we supposed to be ashamed of our age now? Every year is a bonus in my view. Celebrate the bigger number.

Don’t forget no Christmas presents for adults, a £5 engagement ring, a £20 wedding and a baby at just the right age, one week too early and you are a young mum.

Same here!

I don't have issues with adults celebrating their birthdays (though I do hate mine); but I do have some issues with the current emphasis on 'big' 'milestone' birthdays. Why not just celebrate people's birthdays, without rubbing in their age to this extent? In the past, it was just your birthday, after your 21st.

My issue has been that I had friends who seemed to think I should be excited/obsessed with their birthdays whilst totally ignoring mine.
So I ignore theirs now too. I’m sure some of them think I’m mean for it.

I’ve only ever seen that attitude on here. It’s horrible and miserly.

i have been on here for many, many years and I remember back in the day, if someone mentioned a sad birthday posters would post nice things, maybe add a bunch of flowers ,

it’s only in more recent years I’ve seen this mean attitude about adult people who have been overlooked on their birthdays.

if someone hasn’t received a card from their partner or children there’s a suggestion that they’re divas or princesses for having a vague expectation of recognition on their birthdays.

it doesn’t take much to make someone feel thought of or special on their birthday.

The problem I tend to see most, that posters react negatively to, isn’t with people proactively organising and celebrating and enjoying their own birthdays, it is with people being strange about other people in their lives not making them feel “special” enough, or guessing the right present for them or someone not remembering , or not getting a surprise on their birthdays, or being upset they are married to someone who is not as into birthdays as they are or similar.

I love a birthday, me! Yay! I made it through another year - go me! I live Christmas too. I expect I’ll be thrown in the MN gulag before the night is out!

Why is it childish? I don’t understand that viewpoint.

I’m not bothered about presents and cards or fancy dinners out or whatever but it will be a cold day in hell before a birthday of mine passes without cake.

Well I personally love a birthday celebration. I don’t need a reason to have a party. Mine, DPs, the kids, my friends, my mom, my sister. I don’t care. I like celebrating people I love.

No she wasn’t. She was asking if she should. Most people said she should do what she wants. However lots of posters said having a part - or even the dinners the OP was having - was vain and attention seeking. Didn’t see anyone say she should have a party.

Ive never met anyone IRL that thinks anyone over the age of 8, who wants to celebrate their birthday is entitled/childish/unreasonable etc. There's almost a sense that people are somehow superior for not being interested in trivial things like birthdays or cake, or food in general 🙄

A year or so ago, an OP was upset because she had arranged a birthday party for something like 50 people and 12 turned up (iirc) The amount of posters downplaying it and making excuses for people who had said they were going just not bothering to turn up. Rather than accepting it would be disappointing, that people cba and they had spent money on lots of food, and a venue that could accommodate a much larger amount of people

Because they can't be bothered to get cards or gifts for other people and consider being invited to a resturant or party as a personal affront because they might have to pay for a meal or taxi. Rather than simply decline, they feel deep anger and resentment towards the birthday person and try to belittle them by saying they're immature/entitled/selfish/narcissistic to want to celebrate with other people.