Why do British people (at least on MN!) Have such issues with adults celebrating birthdays?

The devils in the detail. Invitations to birthday parties I love. It’s when someone says for my birthday I want to do x,y,z and it will cost you ££££. I find that really cringey and bad manners . If you want me to celebrate you then you should host it.

A casual “let’s go out for drinks to celebrate my birthday” is fine it’s when grown adults want to charge you to cover the cost of the karaoke room, spa etc…: they want to attend then it gets annoying.

My FIL is a miserable bastard about birthdays….not about other things. He was the youngest of 8 and I think his mum had run out of steam for birthdays when it got to his. So my MIL has never had a card or present from him…

a bloke at work doesn’t get it either, why celebrate the day you happen to have fallen out your mother’s womb? bit of a downer on office cakes and a card.

I love celebrating people’s birthdays and like a meal out on my own! It’s an excuse for a bit of socialising.

MN is weird about stuff like this.

To be clear - i think its fine to enjoy a few cards, modest gifts, and to expect your husband might take you out for dinner if money isn't tight. Or to choose to do something nice that you enjoy etc.

Its when you get these people who expect a HUGE fuss, breakfast in bed, several lavish gifts, for people to take a day off work on the actual day, large parties in expensive locations or 3 day weekends away without kids. Because you are only 40 once. 🙄

I always do something for my birthday, even if it's a nice shopping trip. I always take my birthday off (have never worked it and was never at school for it as it's always during half term).

If I'm lucky I get a cake but I don't expect people to drop everything for me as I'm quite happy doing stuff on my own. I had one year where I was completely spoilt but I was away with work and they really pushed the boat out for me, it was very sweet.

This year I have nothing planned but may go for a walk if the weather is nice or go and be a tourist in London for the day.

In real life I don't know anyone, from 21 to 91, who doesn't like at least to have a card, a present, and to have a nice meal with a cake or something a little bit special on their birthday.

Im genuinely not fussed! I much prefer christmas. I don't want everyone's attention on me.

Its the aspect of demanding to be the centre of attention, expecting a lot of fuss from other people, it makes me cringe.

Some people are terrifically entitled about birthdays, expecting everyone to give up a lot of their time & money for it - weekends away etc. If i did that for all my friends and family, I'd be skint and my kids wouldn't ever see me.

I guess there are degrees of it! Some really push the boat out and others ( like me) prefer them to go under the radar. Neither is wrong , but mumsnetters tend to get hung up on things sometimes!

I find this surprising, everyone i know celebrates their birthday at least a bit.

You do know the vast majority are not from Britain on here lol....never heard any British person not want a good birthday bash and my job takes me all over the UK not heard it before lol

😅😅

Or the... "how is your monthly shopping bill coming to £££?? Mine is only £20 and that is for 2 adults, 3 dc, 2 dogs and a cat" 🤣🤣

Yes, I wouldn't extrapolate average poster on MN = average British person.
You could equally swap birthdays for hen dos, work christmas party, baby shower, any wedding costing more than a few hundred quid...if you based your expectations solely from MN you'd think these were niche activities that people only attended at gunpoint and hated every second.

I know a few people (myself included) who aren't fussed about celebrating their own birthdays, but don't know anyone who begrudges other people celebrating theirs, if that's what they want to do.

I like to do nice things for myself most days of the year! Not particularly that bothered by birthdays although I normally go out for a meal with DH and am often on holiday at the time, but coincidentally due to the time of year.

I voted YABU because I wasn’t aware that that this was a thing. Even on MN.

No, a modest sized salad does me just fine thank you….

Using up the lettuce, cucumber and tomato that has been in my fridge for a fortnight does the job perfectly… heaven forfend if anyone who suggests extravagant nonsense like beetroot and coleslaw.

I know quite a few adults in real life who'll say they don't really celebrate their birthday and are a bit surprised when other people are keen to, as if it's slightly attention seeking of them.
I love mine & always try to get a few people together & enjoy it.

The same people who won’t use a tumble dryer as a matter of principle, and insist that their washing dries on their washing line just fine on a drizzly day in November.

Mumsnet is indeed full of neurotic martyrs but I don’t see much of the hatred of birthdays that people are saying the whole forum has.

I usually see, for example, an OP angry that her DP won’t take the day off work for her Wednesday birthday and is she being unreasonable to be angry with him? A few replies say that a good compromise is to move the celebration to the weekend, and then someone pipes up with a ridiculous exaggerated misleading summary of those posts, along the likes of “I knew the funsponges would find this thread. Woe betide anyone who wants a card on their birthday”.

You haven't met my BIL then. He sneers at us coldies.

I think that if more women were selfish, they’d be happier. And I love attention. I have no issue with other people enjoying it.

I agree.

and god forbid and adults wants a Christmas advent calender…… or an Easter egg

Love celebrating birthdays in whatever way the birthday person likes best. We celebrate all birthdays in the family, and all sorts of occasions. I’m not a big one for Halloween but the rest, I’m good.

YANBU @BlazesBoylansHat. Mumsnet suffers from an over abundance of Fun Sponges and Mood Hoovers.

I love a celebration.💃💃💃

I’ve never known British people, either on MN or IRL, to have an issue with celebrating birthdays. Most people seem to do as they please and not care what others do or don’t do. The only time it ever becomes an issue is if someone doesn’t want to celebrate their birthday, and others insist on celebrating it for them, but I don’t think that’s particularly a British thing.