Men suggesting home dates early on

Tight and pushy is not a great combination, at all. If the attraction is so overwhelming that you start tearing each others clothes off on Date 1 (the key words being "each others") that's fine, but I'm not getting that the OP feels like this.

Go with your gut instinct @Sunshine386 .

She was certainly wealthier when she was working. Then after she got made redundant. After she was made redundant she couldnt get a job for a year.

The double standard is alive and well. it seems 🙄

Well she wasn't quite wealthy was she.

Men make no sense sometimes. They call women who have casual sex - sluts. Then they complain that women won't have casual sex with them

My idiotic ex was recently complaining how all the women he dates want marriage and commitment and that’s why he breaks things off with them. He said he only wants a bit of casual fun. I asked him why he doesn’t match with women who also want casual fun, and he said he doesn’t want that sort of woman.

A lot of people marry for money, not love.

Men do it too.

A man i worked with went on a dating site last year.

He has now moved in with a woman - who owns her own house.

He met her on the dating site.

He "joked " with us that he went on the dating site to look for a house, not a woman.

I disagree that its a red flag, as a lot of people cant control their financial cicumstances.

My friend aged 36, was quite wealthy last year. Then she suddenly got made redundant and she was thrown into poverty.

So its not a red flag in that people become poor through no fauly of their own.

But i know that most women would prefer to date rich men, not poor men. That is a preference for a lot of women.

Well that would just be another red flag for me. If you aren't solvent by 35 I'd question why.

I mean - he doesnt sound the worst. But he doesn't sound fantastic OP so far from whatyou have written.

What do you like about him?

It depends on money too.

He is probably broke too. If he could afford a hotel he would prob get one

Ok so we are on the same page then. That's why this guy is a red flag because he is pushing to go around OP's house after 2 dates!

Yes i agree with that about not letting a stranger into your house.

The first couple of times that i had sex with the man that i am seeing now- we stayed in an air b and b

First post nails it.

But there is also a risk factor to being alone with someone you barely know in his or your home.

I don't think waiting to have sex is relevant either... That isn't the topic though.

The topic is about letting someone into your home. Why any woman would let a man they don't know into their house is beyond me but we are all different...

As explained you can meet up for a shag on neutral ground, it's often more romantic and exciting.

That is the timeline you want, good for you.

In my opinion, I dont think when you have sex, is a big factor in a relationship becoming serious or not. If you had sex at three weeks, instead of four weeks, he probably would still be with you

I know a couple who had sex on the first date, who are now married for a long time.

I know a woman who waited a month to have sex with a man. They are now broken up

For me it was when I knew it was going to be something serious. You can't know that after two dates. I was never in the process of letting some rando know where I live, I think that's just sensible.

I was dating my DH for 4 months, before I let him into my house. I had been round his a few times before this. Most of our early dates were day dates at the weekend, a walk around St Albans cathedral and dinner, a day trip to the beach etc. When things got more serious he would pick me up from work on my lunch hour so we could share a coffee.

The first time we spent the night together was at Coombe Abbey maybe a month into dating. So I'm no prude as we were having sex, just it was on neutral ground, because that is what I felt most comfortable with at the start.

I'd highly recommend Hand Picked Hotels. 😉

I was replying to the poster who said that any man who wants to go back to a house on the second date, is a red flag.

I asked her what her standard is.
3, 4, 5 dates?

When the OP wants to and feels comfortable.

He also did say in the interests of saving money about the home date, however he is a man with a reasonable job and no kids so I've no idea why he would be skint.

I know I'm supposed to think this is sensible etc etc, but I don't. I don't need a man to shower me with expensive gifts but my God I am so turned off by a man who is supposed to be dating and at some point presumably looking to seduce me, talking about how little he can spend on doing it. I know a woman who always talks about how little she spent when she buys you a gift, or if you compliment something of hers, the only thing she will talk about is how little she spent on it. It may be sensible, or not shallow, or whatever, but I don't care. It's deeply unsexy.

No chance. His pushiness would activate more resistance from me, in fact. I’d just say ‘I don’t invite men I still don’t know particularly well back to my house! When I’m ready, I’ll invite you!’

It's one or more of the three "S's"

Sex
Skint
Scary

It's a vulnerable position I wouldn't put myself in after about 4 hours of physically talking to someone.

Yes. She wrote that he gave her options of other things to do

Is it?

The guy that I am seeing now - I brought him home on a second date.

We are still seeing each other six months later.

Can i ask you - in your opiniom. how many dates do you think is needed before he comes home.

3, 4, 5? Or wait a month? What"s your standard?

Have you even read OP’s posts?

She literally says ‘he is really pushing for home dates’ and that he looked ‘put out’ when IP said she wants to go out.

She also feels he is trying to ‘rush things’ and to be ‘intense’.