To be worried about aging?

Honestly, you are still young! Looking back from a couple of extra decades, I would love to be 47 again! If there is one thing I would say to people your age and younger, it would be to ENJOY being young, appreciate it, because the years pass and you start suffering a multitude of aches and pains and it is not fun!

Start by getting HRT.
Start walking. I walk at least 3 miles a day listening to podcasts, it keeps me sane and fit.
Get a job! You don’t need a career just a basic job to get you out of the house, meeting people, a routine a purpose.

With your children almost grown up, now is the time to focus on you. You're not old and past it. I found my 40s difficult...my 50s have been brilliant. 3 practical steps to start:

1. GP visit - get bloods done, check if you need HRT (absolute life saving for me).

1. Find a hobby...any hobby but preferably one that gets you out of the house and with other people. Walking, sport, book club, craft...whatever floats your boat.

1. If you don't work look for a job and start building independence. If you do have a job put done serious thought into how you can progress or change to something you can progress in.

Once you've started to build a life that doesn't centre round family you'll be in a better position to decide what you want the next chapter of your life to look like.

I keep saying I’m going to do a Christmas charity fun run…I always watch them every year and admire them. But urgh hate sliding into gym gear!

anything that gets us out, and out of our own heads is good.

Yeh cooking didn't do it for me either but worth a try 😂 I tried running because it was cheap to join the club, and you can get REALLY into it if you want, volunteering for all sorts, undress of different charity runs etc. plus my 13yr old daughter is now always telling me how good my legs look 😂

I think you have probably described the majority of working class parents lives tbh!
All of the women I know that you described (peaked at career, plenty of disposable income, holidays) are solidly middle class and had huge amounts of help from their parents when they had young families (caveat to say this obviously doesn't apply to everyone at this stage in life, just saying before 10 posts appear about being born in a cardboard box with a postage stamp for a blanket and now living in a mansion they built with their own hands.......)
Just keep doing what you can with what you have.

I’m impressed, good list @JohnWickAteMyHamster - cooking bores the socks off me. I keep meaning to try running…

you're not alone - I do feel a lot of us get to our mid to late 40s needing a reboot and refocus on our own goals after being submerged by other people’s goals for years.

I get you OP. I have done f all over the past 10 years apart from raise children as we relocated for DH’s job and I had zero family/friend support. I had to give up my job as the kids were still in primary school.

And now I look back as I step into another decade and think no job, no friends, still no money as everything is so expensive. It’s all a treadmill and everyone else is having the fun.

Let’s support each other and see what we can do. The Mel Robbins Let Them podcast has helped and I am increasingly having less f*cks to give.

For a start OP you are not old.
And I will stake my life that you are not ugly.

It sounds as though life has been tough for you and your self esteem is very low.

If your children are almost grown up then it's time you concentrated more on yourself. You don't have to make big changes all at once. Make sure you are eating well, drinking lots of water and doing exercise like walking doesn't cost anything but is really beneficial for your mental health as well as physically. As pp suggested a hobby group or leisure class to meet different people might help.

Please don't write yourself off. And be proud of yourself for battling through the problems you have had to face through life and for raising your children.

And get a GP appointment to discuss HRT and general blood tests (thyroid, iron etc).

Can I also suggest you don't think immediately about TA/childcare etc roles. You've done children. Time for something new. Also the pay is rubbish and you really need to start getting a decent pension in order.

You say you never had a career but do you have a job? If not, that would be my first step.

I've felt a bit like you - I've always worked but no career, no progression, just standing still and raising kids! Not much spare money, all my friends have amazing holidays etc

I decided to try and figure out what brings me joy. It's no small task, I don't find joy comes easily to me. And it had to be small, cheap accessible things.
I tried: running club, gardening, joined my local community litter picking group, cooking (just at home, trying new recipes), contacting friends for walks and picnics.
I still hate running 😂 but I've met some nice people at the club. And cooking didn't interest me. But I'm still figuring out what brings me joy and how to have more of it in my life!

Good luck OP x

@PiriPiriMenopause you are absolutely not over-the -hill or useless. You’ve brought up three humans and the last 6 years have been an incredibly stressful time for many while juggling family life. 47 is relatively young and you have time to get some type of work . Do you have any idea of what you might like to work at ? I know it can seem very overwhelming but I would look into some FET courses that have work experience or are geared towards getting back into the workplace . You absolutely won’t be alone. There are jobs like preschool, TA jobs (in the UK these are in high demand ), I hope that’s not patronising.
At your age at least your kids are now older , I have lots of friends whose children will still be very young when they are 47. I’ve brought up 3 kids and I’m 40, I did keep a job but to say it’s been challenging would be a massive understatement. We also have no family support and absolutely no comment of any of our families, my inlaws are also shocking.
Im extremely proud of what me and my husband have achieved but it’s mainly all about raising our 3 children as that’s the most important thing in our lives .
Take a step back; 47 isn’t old but you might need a gp visit re energy levels, make a list of how you want the next 10 years to look like , what are the most important priorities etc, what might help you personally.
I don’t know if this is any help but raising 3 kids without family support is a mammoth job and you should be proud.

Having feelings is never unreasonable but the question is, what are you doing to do about it?

What is it you want from this post?
To be told, yes, this is normal and just give up and fester?

Or to be told that you have 20 years left of working life and are much more master of your own destiny now than you are letting yourself be.

What is the plan for the next 20 years? What work are you interested in/qualified to do?

You presumably have no pension which is a big problem. You really need to get to work and start putting 25pc of it in a pension.

So now is the time to change your life. Getting back into training and work will lift your self esteem, boost your range of social acquaintances and ensure you are penniless in old age.

Yabu not to go to the doctor to investigate HRT - I’m your age too, and whilst I’ve felt a bit down at times about the number of years passed, what’s stopping you from making some goals and achieving them? Retirement age for us is 67 or 68, you’ve got at least twenty years of active life left unless you’re unlucky.

i’d suggest you need to change your mindset a bit, you can solve all these things, they’re bad feelings not reality.

I’d say you need to start small to get a little confidence built up. How about signing up for one hobby to begin with - it needn’t be expensive - something which you feel passionate about and you’d really enjoy. A one off sports session, volunteering, befriending etc? Once you’ve achieved one thing, set yourself a target of something else outside of your comfort zone. No one else will do it for you.