WIBTA if I refuse to cater for my ‘vegan’ MIL?

The Yorkshire puddings were unlikely to be dripping in animal fat though. It would have been the milk and eggs, making them vegetarian.

As an added note, and the OP didn’t mention them tbf.
There is no place for Yorkshire puddings on a Traditional Christmas Dinner 😂

The choices she has made are still vegetarian even if not vegan - where you have never seen her break the rules by having meat I think you do need to have veggie roast potatoes and gravy. If you have a very small roasting tray for her potatoes you can also bung some parsnips in. Or instead of honey roast parsnips do maple roast parsnips this year, they taste just as nice but everyone can have them. A small pan of vegan gravy using some cooking water from the veg plus vegetarian gravy granules isn't much effort.

If it's not for ethical reasons and she has broken her own rules to suit herself. Make everything the same. Just throw a nut roast in the oven then serve her portion and split the rest with others as a stuffing. If she complains say you had Yorkshire puddings dripping in animal fat because that's all they had. So that's what's happening here.

Not vegan.
They contain milk and eggs.

She's the one who's unreasonable. Her choices are hers, and not yours. When I was a vegan, I learned to bring food I would eat, as I just couldn't count on others to meet my needs. For dishes that are easy to do, set some aside before adding milk and butter or animal fats, but don't do any extra work. It's just not reasonable on her part.

Yes — basically, all fats are 9 calories per gram.

It might feel like animal fats ought to have more because (a) they tend to taste nicer and (b) we've been told for ages how bad they are for us, but the latter point is disputed (nutritional epidemiology really is a scientific dumpster fire) and in any case the purported issue is to do with saturated vs unsaturated, not calories.

The tabloids always have articles around Christmas, screaming about how many calories people will consume on Christmas Day, should they have every possible option - and how many more calories that is than you should have per day.

Do most people actually sit there counting/worrying about the number of calories they're having on the one day out of 365 that is, for the majority of people in the country, by far the biggest feast day of the year?!

'Pop' is doing quite a bit of heavy lifting there!

Apart from the extra work, many people find fitting an entire Christmas turkey - large enough for a dozen or more people - into their ovens quite a challenge; let alone having a completely spare shelf in there for a nut roast!

Just tell her to bring what she’d like to eat as you have enough to do!!!

That makes no sense. Why should op change her tried-and-tested roasted veg plans just for MIL, only for MIL to go rogue and have turkey?

They are almost the same in terms of calories. Goose fat is slightly worse for the heart but not enough to justify denying oneself a once a year treat.

MN is not the best place for sensible dietary advice. The skinnies seem to survive on a lettuce leaf twice a week and the not-so-skinnies seem to eat everything in a 500 yard radius. Meanwhile, back in the real world, we eat mainly well and dont beat ourselves up about the odd trip to MacDonalds.

Sounds like she's trying her best to be a vegan, albeit with many tangents, so just try your best at this level. Xxx

She's trying but has the gone for vegetarian in any case, so cater for her.

How hard is it to pop a few roasts in avocado oil in at the same time as the duck fat roasts or to make a separate cup of a instant gravy? Or to pop a nut roast in whilst the turkey is cooking?

Imo you are being extremely unreasonable.

I love baked potatoes but if I were to be given one for Christmas dinner instead of roast potatoes I think I'd cry.

Are there more calories in goose fat than olive or other vegetable oil? I thought they were about the same.

Save the unnecessary calories and don’t cook with goose fat @Veganornotvegan

I've shopped for a vegan family member who was staying before and they ended up eating my non-vegan food instead 🤣 - it can be really frustrating to put the effort in when the food then gets wasted (I say this as a veggie who is used to having crap options at events).

Just explain that she can have a full vegan meal (buy a (nice) vegan ready meal with a few sides from M&S or something - places like Cook also do great ones), or a vegan main with the normal sides, but you're not able to cook two entire Christmas dinners.

You could probably fit a couple of boiled potatoes, a carrot and a parsnip sliced in half and some paxo stuffing balls in your air fryer, with a little sunflower oil. Pre cook some sprouts and cauliflower the day before and warm up. I wouldn't be surprised if she tucks in to your non vegan offerings, she reminds me of Pam from Gavin and Stacey.

Good idea - seems stupidly cheap for M&S too!

Sorry to miss the point of the thread - but can I have your orange rum recipe? 😂😂😂

I wouldn’t do three meats either- if you have to do multiple do two and a vegan option.

A couple of posters have said this and it really baffles me. For a great many people who eat meat, one of the really special highlights about Christmas dinner is having multiple meats.

It may well be the one meal of the year when you can have a massive unashamed meaty blowout. Most people who have multiple meats for Christmas dinner don't just do it because they forgot they'd already bought a different one or because they like the extra work; it's an intrinsic part of the whole meal: it's meant to be a feast!

Get some packet vegan stuffing. And a nut roast. Put her nut roast, some stuffing balls, potatoes, carrots, parsnips on a tray together. Make a single serving of gravy in a mug. Job done. Just chuck the tray in the oven when you put the roasties in. Not much extra work

I really like you!

op, I am a vegetarian (like born to a generational vegetarian family). My husband and child and dog are not so to save hassle when we do a Sunday roast here for example I just eat the potatoes he cooked with the meat to save hassle/time. I am not breaking any rules. We are just culturally vegetarians but I just go with the flow to make it easy…

I think you can easily substitute the duck fat for olive oil for the potatoes so it wouldn’t kill you/make that much difference to make that change. I think anything requiring extra hob space is a faff so I wouldn’t do a vegan mash. I wouldn’t do three meats either- if you have to do multiple do two and a vegan option. I have to admit whenever I’ve gone for Christmas meals with multiple meats, it just seems a giant faff and extra stress for the host re all the different timings.

As well as the suggestion for a boil in the bag vegan gravy, you can also get a vegetable medley to steam in the microwave so you know the veggies are safe. I’d check how strict she is re honey as that might be a moot worry if she doesn’t care (not all vegans do especially if it’s locally produced rather than industrial) and if she’s been tucking into dairy and still wearing leather shoes it might not be high priority.

OP, We used to have this with MIL's Jewish partner- I would adapt recipes for her (no pancetta with the sprouts, no sausagemeat in the stuffing etc) and then see her sneaking pigs in blankets 😂

I agree with pp above. No need to be the vegan police (or kosher police in my case). You have lots of time to plan so it should be possible to eg cook some of the potatoes in oil etc or scoop out some sprouts before you add the bacon or whatever it is. A very solvable problem. And if she slips up, well, you did your bit and I'm sire she will have appreciated it.