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Original poster

To feel a bit weird about the casual use of spoon theory

116 replies

smalldogdancing · 17/10/2025 18:32

I work in further education and share a class with someone. She has started to start and end sessions asking people how many spoons they have.

I have an invisible disability and spoon theory is a way to communicate the challenges of that to those who do not. Hearing it used in this way has left me
feeling a bit strange. I suspect I’m being a bit precious about it though, too sensitive.

Not planning to say anything, I really like her and she’s good at her job. I’m just surprised by how much it’s unsettled me. I’ve found being chronically ill very lonley in part because it’s so difficult to explain. Just curious to hear what folk think.

OP posts:
HoppityBun · 17/10/2025 18:44

I have several chronic illnesses and I’ve never found this spoon idea much help, but perhaps it’s supposed to assist in explaining to people who don’t have chronic conditions? I think it’s an analogy or model, rather than a theory

Ashersmom · 17/10/2025 18:43

Invisible disabilities don't own spoon theory. Every counsellor, therapist and psychologist I've ever met used it. Personally, I find it cringy.

GreenGreenGreenRed · 17/10/2025 18:43

I wouldn't like it either.

Saying it applies to everyone reminds me of "everyone gets tired" etc when you're trying to explain fatigue. If you borrow "spoons" you're probably not then left with worse symptoms for days/weeks later. Your finite isn't the same.

ElizabethsTailor · 17/10/2025 18:41

I know this will be an unpopular opinion, but I feel as if chronic illness and disability has been co-opted to the point where everyone feels they have something wrong and that they are very, very “special”. Clearly no one understands them and they are going through life with a huge burden (sarcasm, in case it wasn’t clear).

I do feel this minimises the issues of people like yourself OP who genuinely have something they are dealing with.

Original poster
smalldogdancing · 17/10/2025 18:41

i think because it feels like oh everyone gets tired. Which they do. It’s just not the same. But yes perhaps making it more ordinary is helpful

OP posts:
Twinkylightsg · 17/10/2025 18:40

I don't get it

BCBird · 17/10/2025 18:39

Charlotte120221 · 17/10/2025 18:34

Have no idea what you’re talking about

Me neither

Newsenmum · 17/10/2025 18:39

Everyone has spoons. Some people have fewer than others.

murasaki · 17/10/2025 18:39

I was aware of it, but am not sure why you're unsettled. It could also apply to people with a lot in their plate, which is how it seems to me that she was using it.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/10/2025 18:38

Okay, I've just googled it.

Why does her doing this unsettle you @smalldogdancing

staringatthesun · 17/10/2025 18:38

It has become widely used for a lot of people now OP. I think it's a useful analogy but yes, if overused, it may dilute the mesaage. I get why it unsettles you a bit.

Sagaciously · 17/10/2025 18:38

It’s a cringe way of describing energy levels.

CryMyEyesViolet · 17/10/2025 18:37

Surely it’s better for you if this is normalised? You have less spoons to start and likely use more in the class. You now have the ability to communicate this without being “othered”. And I thought the spoon theory was on the basis that everyone had spoons, but the chronically ill had less and it helps “healthy” understand what that might feel like - so everyone has finite spoons and so it’s a valid question to everyone.

Original poster
smalldogdancing · 17/10/2025 18:36

Oh that’s interesting! I thought people would know it.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoon_theory

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/10/2025 18:35

I've never heard of it.

Charlotte120221 · 17/10/2025 18:34

Have no idea what you’re talking about