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Original poster

Holidays with young kids just not worth it? Holiday from hell incoming…

311 replies

Welshinlondonmum · 17/10/2025 15:21

Myself (F45), DP (M47), DS (3-nearly 4) and DD (9Months) are on day 2 of 11 night holiday and I’m already at the end of my tether and wondering are holidays just not worth it with young kids?

DS just runs off and doesn’t look back. He’s always been a runner and we’ve tried everything - reigns, refuses to sit in high chair, pops out of buggy that we brought to try and contain him. This morning I’ve had to wrestle him into chair to get breakfast in him, being stared at by others disapprovingly. Eventually got so cross I shouted at him as last night he cried for 20 mins before bed he was starving - when he refused to sit down in restaurant and eat! He’s also dairy intolerant so we have to wait for his food to be made, which doesn’t help. He escaped from kids club this morning. We were thankfully sat on loungers outside, but I jumped up to chase him and slipped on wet tiles. I’ve really hurt my back as a result and can’t lift or chase him now. Already dreading a night of breastfeeding in a hotel bed when my back in agony like this.

Also livid as I booked this holiday as they take kids from 3 at kids club but they don’t lock the door. Myself or DP will have to stay with him at every session if we want to give each other a break, which I was so desperate for. Last night he escaped kids disco and can also open hotel room door from inside, so having to barricade ourselves in with suitcases as there’s no way to keep door child safe.

We’ve been on at least 8 holidays with him since he was born and this could be the worst so far! I thought with age he would calm down a bit.

DS caring and loving and generally well behaved in childcare but really pushes it when in a busy environment . I’m firm and try to have consistent boundaries, stay calm but DP has a short temper and ends up frustrated and angry. To be frank, I don’t blame him, but this just adds to overall stress. DS just doesn’t stop moving - typical boy x10. He also has a mild tic and Dr has suggested potential ADHD, but says we must wait till school to refer when he’s older. But it is challenging and we are at a loss how to do ‘normal’ things.

DD (9M) is lovely but attached to me constantly- cries minute I put her down and squirms when dad holds her. Combo feeding but she’s in with me feeding all night off and on, so sleep is lacking. I was also up till 4am packing to leave at 10.30am. I just managed a last minute bikini wax at 9am on 3hrs sleep. Husband annoyed I left this till ‘last minute’ - Plus now I’ve unpacked I’ve realised I’ve got 3 tshirts, 3 pairs of knickers and several dresses that don’t work for breastfeeding whilst I managed to pack for both kids and husbands! My clothes order and underwear currently say in next which I had no time to retrieve :(

DP and I already arguing over sons behaviour and generally sniping about how he hates the stress of holiday. But I was desperate for a break but this is far from relaxing.

DP saying he cannot cope with DS and is physically shaking from his behaviour and keeps saying he’s going to have a heart attack!! I literally feel completely overwhelmed. Both miserable!

I know people on here will say I have a DP problem but I’m literally just looking for some kind words of advice on how to deal with son right now in this All inclusive hotel that is not set up for young kids, despite the reviews to the contrary. I’m trying to salvage the holiday and not feel like a hormonal, breast feeding, frazzled mum who’s completely overwhelmed with the worry of 9 days of this! praying it all calms down soon and we find some calm! Is this possible with 2 young kids?

Thanks if you’ve read this far! Please be kind - any advice?

OP posts:
Lovehascomeandgone · 18/10/2025 18:01

It does get easier as they get a bit older but maybe give yourself a couple of days to settle down and get into the holiday routine. Maybe things will settle down when everyone gets used to it and a bit more sleep. Have to say your DP needs to get a bloody grip and pull his weight. Good luck OP, hope it settles down for you.

Cherrytree86 · 18/10/2025 17:54

OP, don’t bother going on holiday as a family until the kids are older. Just a waste of money and too much stress atm. You and your husband go away for a couple of long weekends a year while the grandparents (if willing) look after the kids? Or you go with your mates for a hol while husband looks after the kids and vice versa.
@Welshinlondonmum

RomeoRivers · 18/10/2025 17:49

When you get home write a packing list- I find mine invaluable with 3 kids under 5!

columns are: mum/ dad/ 4yoG/ 2yoB/ babyG

Holidays with young kids just not worth it? Holiday from hell incoming…
HD00 · 18/10/2025 17:18

Honestly I think it can be more more work than being at home taking young kids abroad.

I took my daughter by myself (single mum) to Oman when she was about 18 months old. It was a lovely place but I just remember being exhausted. We lived in

TartanMammy · 18/10/2025 17:03

Welshinlondonmum · 18/10/2025 13:27

Not sure why everyone keeps banging on about age! Have a very active and happy life. Amazing 20’s and 30’s with some health issues that delayed babies but otherwise, no complaints! Age is completely irrelevant to the fact my son has no off switch which is the main issue I posted about tbh that has put pressure on the whole ‘holiday’ mode, plus the fact the hotel is not what it represented itself as online. Started out badly and just felt all consuming from there! We’ve done all sorts of holidays with him but as some have raised, this is a tricky age! Especially if he is ND as he’s so aware, yet pushing boundaries, tender in emotion but boisterous and wants to be ‘a big boy’ bless him. But just CANNOT control his impulses. It’s not that I didn’t anticipate some of this. But it’s like he’s turned into his most extreme self and thankfully from the comments of many of the understanding parents on here - it’s starting to make more sense! He’s under a consultant for his Tic and his childcare setting (pre school and child minders are aware) but he is literally like the perfect child with them and comes home and explodes so it could be classic ‘masking’ behaviour!

We went to turkey last year and the kids facilities were fantastic - splash park, soft play, little tikes cars, massive playground, a baby room, beach park areas - far more eating places that were not frantic buffets! son still struggled to stay in one place for long but I think as he was younger, still easier to contain his escape artist urges!

He’s now older, faster and far more aware and clever so this time round it’s far harder!

Again went to an amazing place in Dom Rep all geared up for kids but the flight just too long with 2!

Today DP took him for breakfast after we all had a lay in, divide and conquer. I entered the restaurant with DD as he was finished - DP said he was a dream - but did get bored and dart at the end. We took him to the beach which was far calmer and a small taverna for lunch where he sat for 1.5hrs albeit with his iPad and ate a solid lunch and husband now got him in the pram to attempt a nap - pray for it!! 🤣🤣

I’ve booked some of the on site restaurants for 6.30 daily so we can get in and out early. These won’t have the buffet craziness and noise and if he doesn’t want to go in, we’ve got plenty of snacks and we can just split up and person on DS duty can eat later. Or take food back to the room.

He tends to get even more frantic when worn out and he’s a random napper and has always wanted to sleep on the move (buggy, cat, Carried) so this is where the buggy may come into its own!

Genuinely grateful for all the very considered and non toxic, understand life received to good point from people who haven’t come with judgement and offered some fantastic thoughts!

thank you!! Xx

Edited
Show quote history

Sounds like you've turned a corner a bit and worked out a few strategies, I hope you can enjoy the rest of the holiday. Possibly more research on the resort next time and we've had some excellent childcare friendly hotels.

It's unfair people keeping mentioning your age because it's not like you can change that, but the reason they do is because it's far easier to handle pre-schoolers endless energy in your 20s than it is in your 40s, it's just how it is. My parents were your and your husbands ages when they became grandparents. People probably mention your age it because they could not imagine going back to running about after an active 3yr old and a baby in their 40s, it's a tough stage. There are certainly pros and cons to having children at different ages.

Angelil · 18/10/2025 16:55

You’re just parenting somewhere else when they’re this age (and sorry but you were hardly going to be full of beans after having your kids at 41 and 44!!).
For your eldest son will be used to a scooter or balance bike if he refuses the buggy?
and does your accommodation have any self catering facilities at all? Might be easier than waiting for special food to be made for him.

EatSleepDreamRepeat · 18/10/2025 16:43

@Welshinlondonmum my youngest was a houdini. He now has an autism diagnosis. It's frightening. Ask the TUI rep about the room door and the kids club, see if they can help. One of you go to the kids club with him if he likes it, can you bring a book and keep an eye play centre style and sit near the door to stop him bolting? Mine wouldn't entertain a kids club so not sure how they work.

This is a hard age and hard with an ND child. It can get completely overwhelming.

Where in the world are you? If you can go into town and buy yourself some clothes and find some swings and slides. You've had some good advice about divide and conquer, order tea ahead, book restaurants, etc.

Going forward you have to think of what are the biggest issues. So the houdini thing for ex, I email hotels ahead before booking to check how the room door locks. We do tend to go S/C though as food and restaurant environments are not good for us.

Our more successful holidays now the kids are a bit older are activity ones. Like lake type holidays with towns nearby.

For your kids age abroad package type holidays in an apartment hotel as SC worked well for us. You tend to get a bit more space than a hotel room, there is usually a pool bar or something for chips or easy lunch. You have the benefit of someone cleaning the room and fresh towels etc. We don't really cook, sandwiches, crackers cheese and salad, etc. Takeaways and eat chips on the beach. Just make it easy.

Cachall · 18/10/2025 15:38

Now get off MN and enjoy your holiday, Op!

Mumoftrois · 18/10/2025 14:25

Ohhh I feel your pain. We have done caravan holidays in the uk with our 8 year old and twin nearly 3 year old boys as I can’t face all this. Kudos to you for trying. We managed Disney Paris last year when the boys were 18 months and that was amazing but tiring- taking twins through an airport was tough. So we won’t be flying until they are at least 4 😂😂 I do hope the rest of your holiday gets better- maybe as he gets used to the complex he might settle. Never a break when you have kids is it.

My sisters are planning a big holiday abroad in about a year I said no probs as more adults to help with the kids 😂 good luck!

Fundays12 · 18/10/2025 13:34

He sounds like my ds1 at that age. He used to run out of restaurants, evening entertainment venues etc and was a blooming nightmare on holiday. He was diagnosed with autism and adhd at 5. We only realised then that he ran out of these places due to sensory overload. He couldn't cope with the noise, lights, smells and crowds. Hotels were hell with him and still are so we avoid them (he is 13 now).

I think you need to eat outside if possible, avoid the crowds, try keep to routine and get ear defenders if possible.

Original poster
Welshinlondonmum · 18/10/2025 13:27

PersephoneSmith · 18/10/2025 12:39

I’m really glad I had my kids in my 20s.

Wait until they are older for nice holidays, stick to short uk breaks with soft play centres for a bit.

Not sure why everyone keeps banging on about age! Have a very active and happy life. Amazing 20’s and 30’s with some health issues that delayed babies but otherwise, no complaints! Age is completely irrelevant to the fact my son has no off switch which is the main issue I posted about tbh that has put pressure on the whole ‘holiday’ mode, plus the fact the hotel is not what it represented itself as online. Started out badly and just felt all consuming from there! We’ve done all sorts of holidays with him but as some have raised, this is a tricky age! Especially if he is ND as he’s so aware, yet pushing boundaries, tender in emotion but boisterous and wants to be ‘a big boy’ bless him. But just CANNOT control his impulses. It’s not that I didn’t anticipate some of this. But it’s like he’s turned into his most extreme self and thankfully from the comments of many of the understanding parents on here - it’s starting to make more sense! He’s under a consultant for his Tic and his childcare setting (pre school and child minders are aware) but he is literally like the perfect child with them and comes home and explodes so it could be classic ‘masking’ behaviour!

We went to turkey last year and the kids facilities were fantastic - splash park, soft play, little tikes cars, massive playground, a baby room, beach park areas - far more eating places that were not frantic buffets! son still struggled to stay in one place for long but I think as he was younger, still easier to contain his escape artist urges!

He’s now older, faster and far more aware and clever so this time round it’s far harder!

Again went to an amazing place in Dom Rep all geared up for kids but the flight just too long with 2!

Today DP took him for breakfast after we all had a lay in, divide and conquer. I entered the restaurant with DD as he was finished - DP said he was a dream - but did get bored and dart at the end. We took him to the beach which was far calmer and a small taverna for lunch where he sat for 1.5hrs albeit with his iPad and ate a solid lunch and husband now got him in the pram to attempt a nap - pray for it!! 🤣🤣

I’ve booked some of the on site restaurants for 6.30 daily so we can get in and out early. These won’t have the buffet craziness and noise and if he doesn’t want to go in, we’ve got plenty of snacks and we can just split up and person on DS duty can eat later. Or take food back to the room.

He tends to get even more frantic when worn out and he’s a random napper and has always wanted to sleep on the move (buggy, cat, Carried) so this is where the buggy may come into its own!

Genuinely grateful for all the very considered and non toxic, understand life received to good point from people who haven’t come with judgement and offered some fantastic thoughts!

thank you!! Xx

OP posts:
ManyATrueWord · 18/10/2025 12:42

Sympathy. I refused to go abroad whilst all the children want is mummy, daddy, play park, ice cream.

Mumtryingtolivethedream · 18/10/2025 12:40

Thing is holidays with little ones arent actually holidays you need a holiday after the holiday ive took little ones but gone in a larger group so theres more people to help out so it must be a struggle. Not got much advice for you other than maybe once your 3yr old has adjusted he might calm down a bit it's a new environment lots to take in. Teach him to swim tire Him out as much as possible then he might sleep so you get some peace.

PersephoneSmith · 18/10/2025 12:39

I’m really glad I had my kids in my 20s.

Wait until they are older for nice holidays, stick to short uk breaks with soft play centres for a bit.

Luckyingame · 18/10/2025 12:35

Packing for your (adult, male) partner.
Do you also "prep his lunches"?
Ick.
No, holidays with (small) children are not really holidays.

Autisticburnouthell · 18/10/2025 11:11

Ireallywantadoughnut36 · 18/10/2025 08:02

With all the love in the world, this isn't a family holiday issue, this is life with a child with additional needs. A nearly 4 year old wouldn't normally escape from kids club, or run off and not sense danger in a strange environment, or be totally unable to sit for a meal despite having food and you providing entertainment. My son is ND and some situations are really hard, and difficult and not what you wanted/needed/expected/everyone else has. You both need to come to terns with it. Research some strategies for supporting him, especially in busy environments. Find places to holiday that aren't busy and that are easy environments for him.
Stop getting cross, it's not his fault the holiday isn't turning into what you wanted, the fact he's normally well behaved makes me think he's really struggling. Try and get into a holiday routine as the predictability might help and try and do active stuff in the day to help let out some energy. Can you find a restaurant with a play area so he can get down and run (with supervision).
Give everyone (yourself, dh, rhe holiday, your kids) some grace. Holidays can be wonderful with kids, but they're never perfect, kids can horrid, parents can get things wrong, couples argue. It'll never be like Instagram.

This is really good advice.

Try a visual time table for the rest of the holiday. You just need to ask reception from a pen and some paper and it would look something like this put add a stick picture.

get dressed
breakfast
park
snack
swimming
lunch
play in room
snack
swimming
shower
dinner
evening entertainment

Lordofmyflies · 18/10/2025 10:22

I'm sorry you are having a tough time OP. I do think holidays with babies that old can be enjoyable but it takes planning, energy, supportive partner and changing your expectation of a holiday.
When mine were that age, we did hotels but always got larger rooms with a separate lounge and balcony so we could use a space for naps etc whilst we read or sunbathed.
I would divide the kids up - DP takes toddler whilst you feed baby. You could each get 1 hour to yourself a day if you could get baby to nap?
We never did kids clubs - I don't like the idea and I know it would upset the DC. Instead we would go swimming, walks with the pushchair or sling, sightsee with baby in sling.

EatingSleeping · 18/10/2025 09:51

It will get better (both for this holiday and over time). The first couple of days are.alwsys hardest as you adjust.

I would contact the the TUI rep and complain about the kids club tbh. They are meant to be of a standard comparable to UK so it really shouldn't be possible to get out. People can get their judgey pants out all they like but some children love playing with others and adore kids club. I've one who has begged to go to them from 3/4 and one who absolutely wouldn't step foot in them.

It might be worth looking for the nearest shopping mall and having a trip out for some clothes that make you feel good and you can feed in. The holiday clothes in next will get sent back a d refunded anyway. I do think your DP is being an idiot about your bikini wax, he needs to pull his head in a bit.

Probably not now but do you have the youngest in a sling. I find with a clingy baby it's almost easier to submit to it and get an amazing sling.

Holidays can be really tough but it doesn't mean you need to give up on them. Lower your expectations for now, take it hour by hour and give each other a couple of afternoons off where you can

Rounder888 · 18/10/2025 09:49

My sisters eldest two were similar, she tried two foreign holidays with them between the ages of 10 months and 3 years, then gave up for 5 years. She took them camping instead to somewhere that’s a secure field, so they could just run to their hearts delight without worry! She went away this year to Mallorca with them both (now 8 and 7) and even said that was still too stressful as they both are very high energy, balcony door didn’t look well etc so she said she’ll be skipping next year again or doing a cold holiday with activities. Sometimes it’s just not worth the stress, or worth trying other types of trips!

ineedtoknow123 · 18/10/2025 09:36

Read some of your other comments and think even though you have been on lots of holidays with your first child, having two is another ball game. Breastfeeding and broken sleep makes everything so difficult. If i were you, id give up on holidays until the youngest is 3/4. You would have a better break at home doing day trips or at home with down time. Ive got 3 kids. Middle has asd and adhd. Still breastfeeding 2 year old. We did a uk holiday in the summer, self catering and i swore after it really wasn't worth the money.

Switcher · 18/10/2025 09:27

Cachall · 17/10/2025 23:28

‘Your poor thing’ - patronising, much!

Show quote history

Huh? What's wrong with that? Why be rude, what are you getting out of it?

3luckystars · 18/10/2025 09:25

I agree with this. I used to actually like holidays before having children.
Now I can’t take the stress of them, they are like an ordeal to be survived. I just realised this year after many many challenging holidays (my eldest is now 17) that it’s just not worth it. I’m not going anymore.

I will do a Centerparcs maybe in this country but anything else is just not happening.

Burntout01 · 18/10/2025 09:21

Some people replying here saying didn’t you know what holidays with young kids would be like, seriously…. How unkind and unhelpful.

Children are as diverse in their behaviour as adults and whilst some children of all ages are pretty chilled, calm, good sleepers, others are the opposite of all of the above.

OP sorry to say but the sheer relentlessness of your Son and his physical drive and his inability to cope with noisy/ busy environments are just exactly how my son now aged 15 was, he has ADHD and likely autism ( he refused the assessment for autism).

Parenting him has permanently damaged my nervous and immune system, the stress was overwhelming and it goes on for years.

all I can suggest is to try to reframe what holidays will look like. We gave up on foreign holidays after our son had an accident on the ferry going to France one year and spent the whole holiday screaming and running, he just could not cope. We just settled for weeks in Centreparcs which were far better, own food, quiet accomodation and surroundings, wildlife and swimming which he loves.

JillMW · 18/10/2025 09:20

Welshinlondonmum · 17/10/2025 22:18

Thank you! Never thought about calling ahead for food prep. With his dairy issue I have to find a supervisor and get them to cook something like a vegan pizza. This hotel is really not up for the challenge of food intolerances I don’t think.

The bikini wax was just something I felt I needed to feel half human and myself when my body is still a complete post Partum mess - I just couldn’t face shaving as in growing hairs are bad! Packing has been intense. My baby is unbelievably clingy and her sleep routine is awful. She doesn’t do long sleeps but cat naps. I’m lucky if I get 20 mins to have a shower and get out and she’s awake. Packing with her in a bouncer she hates was just too much with the crying. I’ve found this easier when everyone in bed and I can just get it done. Lesson learned to do it earlier next time. Husband did sort his T-shirts out and literally takes those, shorts, pants and socks so probably 10 mins of the overall pack so I don’t feel like a martyr to be honest. I just felt frustrated it took longer than I’d planned - first time packing for two kids! Dp cooks every day. Does the pick ups and drop offs. Bed time. He’s just started a new job and was working late to get all sorted before hols so I’m not the martyr people seem to assume of a classic door mat. Looks like I just didn’t give myself enough time which I take on the chin.

On the shouting - I agree. It’s not my usual parenting style. I don’t usually shout at DS. I’m usually pretty calm but this morning was just the end of my last nerve when he wouldn’t eat. He has a huge appetite at home for meals and also grazes all day. I’m constantly taking food from the buffet on holiday and when I see fruit etc I grab it. I bring snacks wherever we go. He’s always asking for food. Last nights tantrum was because he saw a packet of biscuits in the drawer just before bed and decided he wanted one, so kept saying he was starving! I know he’d eaten some food despite the fact he refused to sit still. He eventually just said - I want a biscuit! A typical 3 year old melt down really. He was asleep very quickly after and thankfully sleeps well. My 9 month old on the other hand does not!

Show quote history

Sorry one more thought! Well, two ha.
I am dark haired so I do get the bikini thing! I find if I am in a rush I do get more ingrowing hairs. For me I find to apply a hot wet flannel before and after seems to really help. I take two neurogfen before I get it done as I feel it stops any discomfort afterwards! No pants and a robe for an hour and only cotton pants for the rest of the day. I often book myself in with the hotel beautician for a wax and a facial on the first day. Too late this time but might be something you can try next time.
My middle one slept her first night when she was 4 years. She was an extremist! The other two were brilliant sleepers. She hardly sleeps now as an adult, which works well for shifts! I have no advice for the sleeping as I had no clue! But I was exhausted and embarrassed to ask for help. Try to get rest whenever you can. If anyone offers to hold the baby let them, she might be clingy now but soon she will be happy as long as someone holds her and at least you can have toast and a cuppa.

Bigears6789 · 18/10/2025 09:20

Ps - NEVER pack for DH!!! And make sure you are getting enough sleep, it’s saved me over the years 😊