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AIBU?

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Original poster

Holidays with young kids just not worth it? Holiday from hell incoming…

311 replies

Welshinlondonmum · 17/10/2025 15:21

Myself (F45), DP (M47), DS (3-nearly 4) and DD (9Months) are on day 2 of 11 night holiday and I’m already at the end of my tether and wondering are holidays just not worth it with young kids?

DS just runs off and doesn’t look back. He’s always been a runner and we’ve tried everything - reigns, refuses to sit in high chair, pops out of buggy that we brought to try and contain him. This morning I’ve had to wrestle him into chair to get breakfast in him, being stared at by others disapprovingly. Eventually got so cross I shouted at him as last night he cried for 20 mins before bed he was starving - when he refused to sit down in restaurant and eat! He’s also dairy intolerant so we have to wait for his food to be made, which doesn’t help. He escaped from kids club this morning. We were thankfully sat on loungers outside, but I jumped up to chase him and slipped on wet tiles. I’ve really hurt my back as a result and can’t lift or chase him now. Already dreading a night of breastfeeding in a hotel bed when my back in agony like this.

Also livid as I booked this holiday as they take kids from 3 at kids club but they don’t lock the door. Myself or DP will have to stay with him at every session if we want to give each other a break, which I was so desperate for. Last night he escaped kids disco and can also open hotel room door from inside, so having to barricade ourselves in with suitcases as there’s no way to keep door child safe.

We’ve been on at least 8 holidays with him since he was born and this could be the worst so far! I thought with age he would calm down a bit.

DS caring and loving and generally well behaved in childcare but really pushes it when in a busy environment . I’m firm and try to have consistent boundaries, stay calm but DP has a short temper and ends up frustrated and angry. To be frank, I don’t blame him, but this just adds to overall stress. DS just doesn’t stop moving - typical boy x10. He also has a mild tic and Dr has suggested potential ADHD, but says we must wait till school to refer when he’s older. But it is challenging and we are at a loss how to do ‘normal’ things.

DD (9M) is lovely but attached to me constantly- cries minute I put her down and squirms when dad holds her. Combo feeding but she’s in with me feeding all night off and on, so sleep is lacking. I was also up till 4am packing to leave at 10.30am. I just managed a last minute bikini wax at 9am on 3hrs sleep. Husband annoyed I left this till ‘last minute’ - Plus now I’ve unpacked I’ve realised I’ve got 3 tshirts, 3 pairs of knickers and several dresses that don’t work for breastfeeding whilst I managed to pack for both kids and husbands! My clothes order and underwear currently say in next which I had no time to retrieve :(

DP and I already arguing over sons behaviour and generally sniping about how he hates the stress of holiday. But I was desperate for a break but this is far from relaxing.

DP saying he cannot cope with DS and is physically shaking from his behaviour and keeps saying he’s going to have a heart attack!! I literally feel completely overwhelmed. Both miserable!

I know people on here will say I have a DP problem but I’m literally just looking for some kind words of advice on how to deal with son right now in this All inclusive hotel that is not set up for young kids, despite the reviews to the contrary. I’m trying to salvage the holiday and not feel like a hormonal, breast feeding, frazzled mum who’s completely overwhelmed with the worry of 9 days of this! praying it all calms down soon and we find some calm! Is this possible with 2 young kids?

Thanks if you’ve read this far! Please be kind - any advice?

OP posts:
sunshine244 · 17/10/2025 15:57

To add - kids clubs have never been possible for either of my kids. I am utterly jealous of families who get to have a break on holidays!

defrazzled · 17/10/2025 15:57

Kindly, I think you are expecting to have adult, relaxing holidays with young children. You need to arrange energetic fun playful holidays. Play with him - on the beach, pool - not kids club where he's probably bored and jealous of the baby. Eat at home, early, or go out to very casual places and share food, try new things, have fun, an adventure. I think 3 is too old for highchairs and buggys but I am old, so maybe wrong. He sounds bored and frustrated. 8 holidays in 3/4 years is a LOT! Mine did caravans here and abroad and loved it - we have relaxing adult hols with fine dining etc now they are adults.

sunshine244 · 17/10/2025 15:56

I have huge sympathy. My oldest never sat still for anything when young. I'd watch all these contented babies and toddlers happily sitting in pushchairs and high chairs in cafes but my son would be crying and trying to escape after five mins. Neither slept well (that may be a drastic understatement!) and several of our early holidays were pretty disastrous.

Fast forward a decade and one is diagnosed AuDHD and the other is awaiting assessment. These are generally genetic so it is possible your oh is finding it particularly hard due to similar traits?

Autisticburnouthell · 17/10/2025 15:54

Why are younpacking for your husband?

Your son sounds like he has adhd, have you and DH looking into strategies to support parenting a child with ADHD?

Look for TUI own kids clubs in future.

tragichero · 17/10/2025 15:52

Cachall · 17/10/2025 15:50

YABU.

What on earth were you expecting it to be like with children of that age!?

Thank God she's got you to point this out to her - respect she feels loads better after reading that!

tragichero · 17/10/2025 15:51

Bless you. I only had one child, but holidays could be tough, especially when breast feeding!

And your son's escape skills, while frankly impressive! (He is clearly a smart little kid) can't make for an easy life.

I don't know much about how kids' clubs work, but if you have paid for it, I assume it is supposed to be fit for purpose, which it isn't if you can't leave him there safely. What did they say about him escaping? Did you address it with them?

It might be worth speaking to hotel management and explaining calmly that they need to up their game with the kids' club, or you will be, quite rightly, leaving some extremely negative reviews....

Your husband sounds like he is being a bit dramatic! Is there any chance he will calm down once he has had a chance to relax in the sun a bit, and actually work with you to solve the issues?

Another possibility, does the hotel offer a 1:1 babysitting service? Maybe that would be worth looking into, even if you have to pay a little extra for it (assuming you can afford this).

Good luck! Xxx

5128gap · 17/10/2025 15:51

I'd start by arranging to feed DS his meals away from the hectic resturant environment. It's really difficult to get them to concentrate when everyone is up and down and it's so noisy. Plate of food back in the room or a supermarket trip for things you know he'll eat. Then either take turns to eat yourselves or bring activities for DS while you eat. It may be the occasion to suspend a no screens at table rule!
Make sure you take turns at the kids club so you each get a break. Or better still have a word with the hotel about better security as that's not on.
If you can, try to go out a lot so DS gets stimulation. They get bored of the pool quite quickly at that age. There's bound to be child friendly stuff, aquariums, play grounds etc.
Consider giving each other a day or half day off each. No point both of you struggling and restricted together if you can take turns.
Above all, lower your expectations. The holiday won't be the dream from the adverts, but there will be spots of joy and these will be what you remember (hopefully!)

Cachall · 17/10/2025 15:50

YABU.

What on earth were you expecting it to be like with children of that age!?

Octonaut4Life · 17/10/2025 15:49

Personally I don't think hotels are great with young kids, full stop. We book a villa or house stay. No worries about behaving in restaurants, more of a routine like at home, and in the evenings you can put them to bed and then sit out with a glass of wine and chat.

Whereismyfleeceblanket · 17/10/2025 15:46

I shook my head at you having packed for a partner..
Stop being a martyr.
Send him off with ds.. You chill with the baby. It's his ds and he will have to learn to manage alone.

mintgreensoftlilac · 17/10/2025 15:40

That does sound extremely stressful! What does DS enjoy doing/which situations feel the least stressful for everyone involved? Find those situations and try to do more of it! Fair play to you booking 11 days away. We did 4 days with my toddler and that was just right.