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Original poster

Holidays with young kids just not worth it? Holiday from hell incoming…

311 replies

Welshinlondonmum · 17/10/2025 15:21

Myself (F45), DP (M47), DS (3-nearly 4) and DD (9Months) are on day 2 of 11 night holiday and I’m already at the end of my tether and wondering are holidays just not worth it with young kids?

DS just runs off and doesn’t look back. He’s always been a runner and we’ve tried everything - reigns, refuses to sit in high chair, pops out of buggy that we brought to try and contain him. This morning I’ve had to wrestle him into chair to get breakfast in him, being stared at by others disapprovingly. Eventually got so cross I shouted at him as last night he cried for 20 mins before bed he was starving - when he refused to sit down in restaurant and eat! He’s also dairy intolerant so we have to wait for his food to be made, which doesn’t help. He escaped from kids club this morning. We were thankfully sat on loungers outside, but I jumped up to chase him and slipped on wet tiles. I’ve really hurt my back as a result and can’t lift or chase him now. Already dreading a night of breastfeeding in a hotel bed when my back in agony like this.

Also livid as I booked this holiday as they take kids from 3 at kids club but they don’t lock the door. Myself or DP will have to stay with him at every session if we want to give each other a break, which I was so desperate for. Last night he escaped kids disco and can also open hotel room door from inside, so having to barricade ourselves in with suitcases as there’s no way to keep door child safe.

We’ve been on at least 8 holidays with him since he was born and this could be the worst so far! I thought with age he would calm down a bit.

DS caring and loving and generally well behaved in childcare but really pushes it when in a busy environment . I’m firm and try to have consistent boundaries, stay calm but DP has a short temper and ends up frustrated and angry. To be frank, I don’t blame him, but this just adds to overall stress. DS just doesn’t stop moving - typical boy x10. He also has a mild tic and Dr has suggested potential ADHD, but says we must wait till school to refer when he’s older. But it is challenging and we are at a loss how to do ‘normal’ things.

DD (9M) is lovely but attached to me constantly- cries minute I put her down and squirms when dad holds her. Combo feeding but she’s in with me feeding all night off and on, so sleep is lacking. I was also up till 4am packing to leave at 10.30am. I just managed a last minute bikini wax at 9am on 3hrs sleep. Husband annoyed I left this till ‘last minute’ - Plus now I’ve unpacked I’ve realised I’ve got 3 tshirts, 3 pairs of knickers and several dresses that don’t work for breastfeeding whilst I managed to pack for both kids and husbands! My clothes order and underwear currently say in next which I had no time to retrieve :(

DP and I already arguing over sons behaviour and generally sniping about how he hates the stress of holiday. But I was desperate for a break but this is far from relaxing.

DP saying he cannot cope with DS and is physically shaking from his behaviour and keeps saying he’s going to have a heart attack!! I literally feel completely overwhelmed. Both miserable!

I know people on here will say I have a DP problem but I’m literally just looking for some kind words of advice on how to deal with son right now in this All inclusive hotel that is not set up for young kids, despite the reviews to the contrary. I’m trying to salvage the holiday and not feel like a hormonal, breast feeding, frazzled mum who’s completely overwhelmed with the worry of 9 days of this! praying it all calms down soon and we find some calm! Is this possible with 2 young kids?

Thanks if you’ve read this far! Please be kind - any advice?

OP posts:
themerchentofvenus · 17/10/2025 21:47

Welshinlondonmum · 17/10/2025 21:21

Thanks for this delightful and helpful comment. I was expecting it to be a break away from home life in the sun after a very stressful year. Having already brought my son on 7 holidays previous to this (all inclusive, long haul, air b&b etc..) I was hoping as he’s got a bit older he would stop trying to escape us at every turn. I was hoping for some helpful advice to make an already stressful situation a bit easier.

Show quote history

As you cam afford so many holidays then why not just employ a nanny to come with you to do the childcare???

Your expectations are way too high. Young kids are hard work and life is tough.

MummyJ36 · 17/10/2025 21:45

Ps - despite what others are saying I really do admire you taking your DC’s abroad and giving it a go. You don’t know unless you try and you only learn what works for you by giving things a go. There a lots of hotel out there that would cater to young kids better than the one you’re at, so don’t despair that holidays are over!

mullers1977 · 17/10/2025 21:45

Welshinlondonmum · 17/10/2025 15:21

Myself (F45), DP (M47), DS (3-nearly 4) and DD (9Months) are on day 2 of 11 night holiday and I’m already at the end of my tether and wondering are holidays just not worth it with young kids?

DS just runs off and doesn’t look back. He’s always been a runner and we’ve tried everything - reigns, refuses to sit in high chair, pops out of buggy that we brought to try and contain him. This morning I’ve had to wrestle him into chair to get breakfast in him, being stared at by others disapprovingly. Eventually got so cross I shouted at him as last night he cried for 20 mins before bed he was starving - when he refused to sit down in restaurant and eat! He’s also dairy intolerant so we have to wait for his food to be made, which doesn’t help. He escaped from kids club this morning. We were thankfully sat on loungers outside, but I jumped up to chase him and slipped on wet tiles. I’ve really hurt my back as a result and can’t lift or chase him now. Already dreading a night of breastfeeding in a hotel bed when my back in agony like this.

Also livid as I booked this holiday as they take kids from 3 at kids club but they don’t lock the door. Myself or DP will have to stay with him at every session if we want to give each other a break, which I was so desperate for. Last night he escaped kids disco and can also open hotel room door from inside, so having to barricade ourselves in with suitcases as there’s no way to keep door child safe.

We’ve been on at least 8 holidays with him since he was born and this could be the worst so far! I thought with age he would calm down a bit.

DS caring and loving and generally well behaved in childcare but really pushes it when in a busy environment . I’m firm and try to have consistent boundaries, stay calm but DP has a short temper and ends up frustrated and angry. To be frank, I don’t blame him, but this just adds to overall stress. DS just doesn’t stop moving - typical boy x10. He also has a mild tic and Dr has suggested potential ADHD, but says we must wait till school to refer when he’s older. But it is challenging and we are at a loss how to do ‘normal’ things.

DD (9M) is lovely but attached to me constantly- cries minute I put her down and squirms when dad holds her. Combo feeding but she’s in with me feeding all night off and on, so sleep is lacking. I was also up till 4am packing to leave at 10.30am. I just managed a last minute bikini wax at 9am on 3hrs sleep. Husband annoyed I left this till ‘last minute’ - Plus now I’ve unpacked I’ve realised I’ve got 3 tshirts, 3 pairs of knickers and several dresses that don’t work for breastfeeding whilst I managed to pack for both kids and husbands! My clothes order and underwear currently say in next which I had no time to retrieve :(

DP and I already arguing over sons behaviour and generally sniping about how he hates the stress of holiday. But I was desperate for a break but this is far from relaxing.

DP saying he cannot cope with DS and is physically shaking from his behaviour and keeps saying he’s going to have a heart attack!! I literally feel completely overwhelmed. Both miserable!

I know people on here will say I have a DP problem but I’m literally just looking for some kind words of advice on how to deal with son right now in this All inclusive hotel that is not set up for young kids, despite the reviews to the contrary. I’m trying to salvage the holiday and not feel like a hormonal, breast feeding, frazzled mum who’s completely overwhelmed with the worry of 9 days of this! praying it all calms down soon and we find some calm! Is this possible with 2 young kids?

Thanks if you’ve read this far! Please be kind - any advice?

I think you need to rethink holidays -
pst kids hate kids clubs (if you are the parent that stays this is evident) one of you do pool/beach/explore time while the other sits with the baby - I don’t think sitting on a lounger is going to happen with a 3 year old x

MummyJ36 · 17/10/2025 21:44

Ah man that sounds truly pants. You really do have my sympathies!! I think as other PP’s have suggested it would be worth separating for a day, DH taking DS out for a day trip somewhere and you having a gentle day with DD and following her pattern instead of trying to combine everyone together. Also agree about doing a supermarket trip and buying foods that you know DS will eat; even if they’re not super healthy they’re better than nothing (I know how hard it is sorting food for a child with an intolerance so for the sake of your sanity I’d let him eat what he likes to take a bit of pressure off! Even if it’s just plain bread!).

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 17/10/2025 21:43

It sounds like you are choosing holidays for you and your partner rather than what would suit young, very young, children. That will never work as toddlers wont compromise. That’s not how holidays work when you have small children. You beed go choose holidays based on their needs. You also dont pack for grown ass angry men.

There are no relaxing holidays with children this age. It is childcare and parenting in a different location, without everything you have at home set up to make life easier. Stop trying to take your ds on holidays he cannot cope with and think more about what would work for him.

But right now you need to do exactly what you said. Kids club and take turns to supervise. Each take a child and swap regularly.

Excited101 · 17/10/2025 21:42

I’ve worked in holiday kids clubs- they shouldn’t be locking the door but they also need to be more ‘on it’ to stop your kid from escaping. There’s absolutely no excuse. Equally, DS needs to try and understand that he can’t just run out, would consequences not work here?

lots of others came up with some really good advice re dinner times etc. good luck op- I really hope it improves for you!

user1476613140 · 17/10/2025 21:37

You need to burn off his energy every day. It's the only way. Lower your expectations. Honestly, you're expecting too much!
All mine have been full on aged 3.

Sennelier1 · 17/10/2025 21:36

Can you ask the hotel for a nanny? I know, it's probably expensive, but if I was in the state you are now, I would gladly pay someone to take DS of my hands from breakfast till dinner 🤦🏼‍♀️

Wexone · 17/10/2025 21:34

ManteesRock · 17/10/2025 21:09

Have you ever actually tried disciplining your child?

Sweet Jesus chrust wind your neck in Will ya

Lottie6712 · 17/10/2025 21:34

Hrmmmm I love holidays with mine (4 and 1) and I even went crazy and took them on holiday to Cyprus once on my own - so I agree with everyone who is saying lower your expectations of what a holiday with children looks like. Kids club didn't work for mine until a recent holiday (and not on the holiday on my own with them, though that would have been dreamy). Have a holiday routine, e.g., lunch, then swim, then a film, etc. etc. Room service a pizza at whatever o'clock and put the children down to bed. The other person goes for a walk and dinner, or whatever. Figure out what would make this holiday enjoyable for everyone - or you could also look into going home early as it sounds like you're not having much fun.

autienotnaughty · 17/10/2025 21:32

I didn’t bother with abroad until DS was 7 as I couldn’t be arsed with chasing a toddler in 30 degree heat. We did a lot of lovely Cornwall, wales , center parcs and haven hols. We have had a few holidays abroad now he’s older which are fine (obviously different to child free)

Octavia64 · 17/10/2025 21:28

Go to supermarket and buy snacks that definitely have no dairy for your ds. Alternatively ask for a doggy bag for breakfast - get fruit for him so if he doesn’t eat at meals you have something to offer him. Many AI places will do you a plate of fruit for the room.

agree send one adult down early to order his food.

then divide and conquer. Tire him out. Pool - can he float about/is there a kids pool/do you have noodle or jacket for him?
do they have activities for kids if he won’t/can’t stay in kids club?

three is pretty much peak tantrum/running off age - younger they aren’t so fast and don’t get far and older they begin(!) to have some sense. Very few three year olds will settle in a unfamiliar childcare setting.

does he nap?

Original poster
Welshinlondonmum · 17/10/2025 21:25

ManteesRock · 17/10/2025 21:09

Have you ever actually tried disciplining your child?

Seriously!? Have a lovely day

OP posts:
Puregoldy · 17/10/2025 21:25

I always stuck with uk holidays when mine were small as it didn’t look like a relaxing holiday abroad. My child has asd and even busy uk holidays could send them over the edge. There is no way they would have stayed in a kids club either way to anxious. Like others have said go for a villa if you go abroad. I don’t think you can expect to be both lounging in the sun at the same time with small children. Even though that would be nice. The reality is you need to take it in turns to entertain them.

Original poster
Welshinlondonmum · 17/10/2025 21:23

5128gap · 17/10/2025 15:51

I'd start by arranging to feed DS his meals away from the hectic resturant environment. It's really difficult to get them to concentrate when everyone is up and down and it's so noisy. Plate of food back in the room or a supermarket trip for things you know he'll eat. Then either take turns to eat yourselves or bring activities for DS while you eat. It may be the occasion to suspend a no screens at table rule!
Make sure you take turns at the kids club so you each get a break. Or better still have a word with the hotel about better security as that's not on.
If you can, try to go out a lot so DS gets stimulation. They get bored of the pool quite quickly at that age. There's bound to be child friendly stuff, aquariums, play grounds etc.
Consider giving each other a day or half day off each. No point both of you struggling and restricted together if you can take turns.
Above all, lower your expectations. The holiday won't be the dream from the adverts, but there will be spots of joy and these will be what you remember (hopefully!)

Thanks for this! Some great suggestions. Husband has tried to take DS off to give me some time alone with baby already today but thinking some organised separation may work better than hoping to all spend all our time together.

OP posts:
TiredMummma · 17/10/2025 21:23

I think you just need to relax a bit more? My kids are slightly closer together. A 3 almost 4 year old shouldn’t be in a high chair anyway so just relent and make out a chair is more exciting. Feed them bread and fruit, take turns taking him for walks, do stuff together rather than just in the hotel and tire him out. It’s the holidays so why not use an iPad? Why were they hungry at night? Just get lots of snacks make sure they are and you are well fed. It doesn’t have to be the same
routines as home.

we did a two week similar holiday - I would say it was much more fun than what you describe but we hired a car too. The only issue was it didn’t feel like a holiday. We realised the trick is to bring an in-law to help 🤣 it’s the only way to actually have a holiday.

Original poster
Welshinlondonmum · 17/10/2025 21:21

Cachall · 17/10/2025 15:50

YABU.

What on earth were you expecting it to be like with children of that age!?

Thanks for this delightful and helpful comment. I was expecting it to be a break away from home life in the sun after a very stressful year. Having already brought my son on 7 holidays previous to this (all inclusive, long haul, air b&b etc..) I was hoping as he’s got a bit older he would stop trying to escape us at every turn. I was hoping for some helpful advice to make an already stressful situation a bit easier.

OP posts:
obliviate24 · 17/10/2025 21:20

We booked an air b&b for our family holiday with DH, DS1yr & DS15

It was hands down the best holiday weve had. We had poor expectations. But it was wonderful.

From previous posts I've read, people want pre-children hols WITH the kids!

Swanfeet · 17/10/2025 21:18

Hellvellyn · 17/10/2025 18:06

Your husband is nearly 50. I also can think of nothing worse than being on holiday with babies or toddlers at nearly 50. We thoroughly enjoyed our holidays with our young children but had the energy to keep up with them. But you must have thought about this when deciding to have children at your age?

Oh my god, what a nasty, spiteful comment

Bioandstepmum · 17/10/2025 21:14

We had similar issue with the door in an all inclusive hotel. They kindly came and fitted an internal security lock that only allows the door to open an inch

ManteesRock · 17/10/2025 21:09

Have you ever actually tried disciplining your child?

Fupoffyagrasshole · 17/10/2025 20:57

All my holidays with my kids are brilliant tbh

ive got low expectations- and I expect to still get up early and not really relax !

but there’s no house work or laundry or life admin stuff to be doing

I just do fun things with the kids all day

split Up is a good tactic for those ages - we were just in France recently with 4 year old and 1 year old

we split loads of days and I did things with big girl and other days the baby

some days we did things together and it was a nice balance

we could still put them to bed and sit out and have a drink in the evenings !!

Jc2001 · 17/10/2025 20:56

Cachall · 17/10/2025 15:50

YABU.

What on earth were you expecting it to be like with children of that age!?

Helpful.

Give yourself a slap on the back.

Illbefinejustbloodyfine · 17/10/2025 20:51

Book a Haven holiday next time. Ds will love it.

Eenameenadeeka · 17/10/2025 20:46

I enjoy holidays with children, but I think you both need to massively adjust your expectations. I don't think kids club works for many 3 years olds, it's strangers in an unfamiliar environment. We found with our 2 & 4 year olds it was easier if my husband went to the restaurant and ordered and I bought the children when the food was ready. It is absolutely work rather than rest, but lots of quality time and special memories with your children, rather than sunbathing.