Are we wrong for not inviting my MIL and SIL to our micro wedding ceremony?

It doesn’t sound like you can even afford to get married. Get married properly or don’t bother. Nobody has a church do two years after their wedding, who does that.

Both parents are priority to be at the wedding of theor DC, unless of course certain extreme circumstances. You don't invite one without the other. If not close and they don't come then at least you've done the right thing.

On the front of it, yes it looks cruel.

But Families are complicated and complex, and if it's not just agiven they are automatically invited there must be a lot more to it.

May none of my 3 boys find a girl like you!

How bloody rude and uncaring.

First OP I hope your wedding is a happy occasion and you and your husband have a long and contented life together.
It seems from what you have told us about previous relationships between your DP and his mother and her attitude towards you that no matter how you handled the situation you couldn’t please her. It is easier to blame you than to accept that her son has genuine reasons to feel she failed him and that their relationship has broken down.
Your DP needs to tell his mother that he is responsible for the choice of witness and that she shouldn’t blame you. If it is too hard to get through to her verbally a short note would do. The reassure her that she will be a welcome guest at the important part of the wedding once the formalities have been seen to and that she will be mother of the groom at the planned blessing ceremony.
Good luck.

Dear OP’s husband to be, RUN!!!

In which case why wasn’t that the arrangement from the start ? Of course she won’t come now, you have made it clear you don’t care about her feelings or her place in the family.

Well then yes, it’s wrong, it’s a pretty unforgivable thing to do, and it sets up your marriage as one where your husband’s family are hurt terribly from the beginning. Why do that ?

Crikey ☹️

You’re getting a hard time but the reality is by hand picking family for the ceremony you’ve brought drama into your special day where there didn’t need to be any. For a tiny ceremony you could have invited close friends only and then had a brief lunch with family afterwards. It’s the selecting the “special” family members for the ceremony that’s created the drama for you.

Don’t blame them for being upset. Is this a reverse? Stop being so bloody tight and precious, invite his Mother to his wedding. Honestly some people are so weird.

If your mum and sibling are invited then so should his mum and sibling(s)

So your mum and sister were at the top of your mind but your fiancé’s never registered with either of you? Yeah right. You both excluded them intentionally. Both of you were mean, two immediate family members would have made little difference to your micro wedding.

This is so wrong, how could you invite your mam and sister and not include your MIL and SIL so unfair and a terrible start to a marriage. This will have a massive effect upon your life going forward and will backfire on you.

I guess they exclude you because they don’t like you and you have just shown them - they were right?
anyway this says more about your fiancé than you and as long as you don’t want/need anything from them going forwards your day your rules.. just hope it doesn’t backfire!

I personally think it’s shockingly sad not to invite his mum.

We got married with no guests, only 2 witnesses. We chose my mum and my MIL because we figured they would be the two people most upset not to be there.

It's ok, he is not obliged to do anything. You don't have to accept any blame emotionally that comes your way. You and he don't need to smooth things over. If pushed, a straightforward statement will do from him 'I accept that you are hurt. Family life and relationships have not been straightforward for any of us. If you would like to be at my wedding reception, then I would welcome that. If you want to decline, that's not what I want but I accept your choice.' Step out of this drama triangle, refuse to be cast as the victim or the baddie or the rescuer. You all have power and can be assertive, are all responsible for the things you are responsible for, and can all be appropriately vulnerable without need for defensiveness.

Your fiance wants to exclude his mother for the sake of £160? I get that he's angry with her, but saying that it's about the money is daft.

It should not be your decision which of your fiance's family to invite. It should be his. If you took over, YABU. If you didn't and it was his decision, then you should not be blamed for it. A little odd for him not to invite his mum, unless there's a backstory- but it seems that there is.

Your husband-to-be not having his mum at the wedding is bizarre.

Cannot believe what I read!!You have invited your Mum and sisters but not his Mum and sister!!
And why has he only one guest?
No wonder they are hurt and upset. He is her son for God's sake!!
He doesnt sound much of a son anyhow.
What a brilliant start to married life!!Not!!

Hey op it’s understandable mil and sil are upset but it’s your dp choice so just do it if there not nice to you accept he’s actually putting you first and if he left home as a teenager they couldn’t have been decent people so have your wedding and enjoy it and be respectful of his choices.

Possibly so. But there is enough about it which sounded genuine to me... Whatever the ins and outs, it makes me nuts when people comment without at least reading all of the OPs posts. Because then they come in saying stupid stuff. And projecting their own situations onto the threads. And putting the boot in.