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AIBU?

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Original poster

Conséquence?

33 replies

DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 14:48

What kind of consequence would you give an 11-year-old who makes fun of his 7-year-old brother for still using a booster seat in the car, when he doesn’t?

OP posts:
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verycloakanddaggers · 18/10/2025 10:48

DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:04

Yeah, but I get the feeling he doesn’t really care. He’d actually need a booster too he’s still small but he’s been so difficult lately that I decided to take it away. Otherwise it would be constant tantrums; he feels like a little kid when he’s in it. His booster is just sitting in the garage.

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Do you mean noticeably small for age group (so possibly comments made by other children) and is his younger brother growing on a different centile? Potentially that is underlying the bullying behaviour.

TeenLifeMum · 17/10/2025 20:53

DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:04

Yeah, but I get the feeling he doesn’t really care. He’d actually need a booster too he’s still small but he’s been so difficult lately that I decided to take it away. Otherwise it would be constant tantrums; he feels like a little kid when he’s in it. His booster is just sitting in the garage.

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Then I’d give it back. If he had a tantrum would you allow him to not buckle his seatbelt? They’re for safety not a fun accessory. You’re putting him at unnecessary risk because you can’t find the energy to deal with his behaviour. Get boundaries in now or you’ll really struggle with teen years.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/10/2025 20:49

DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:22

What should I do about his friends? It’s heartbreaking to see him like this, stressed out and embarrassed when he’s on his booster. He feels so ashamed.

But on your other thread you said that he enjoyed being in it?
And that he was 12, not 11.

Twinkylightsg · 17/10/2025 19:22

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 17/10/2025 14:50

I would simply tell them to stop. Unless I've misunderstood the meaning of "Conséquence" as my French isn't very good.

🤣🤣🤣

Macaroni46 · 17/10/2025 19:21

Why have you got a second thread running about booster seats but with a different story? In that one, your DS was sitting willingly on the booster seat? #confused!

Shatteredallthetimelately · 17/10/2025 16:49

DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:33

Do your older boys also struggle with booster seats?

Neither of my DC ever argued that they weren't going to use their booster seats.

I was the parent and this was a safety issue, one which I parented, there was no room for my DC telling me they weren't going to use those safety devices.

HashtagSadTimes · 17/10/2025 15:46

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 17/10/2025 14:50

I would simply tell them to stop. Unless I've misunderstood the meaning of "Conséquence" as my French isn't very good.

I clicked to make sure it wasn’t a baby name thread.

Littlenest88 · 17/10/2025 15:45

Don’t make a big deal out of it or he will do it more

GasPanic · 17/10/2025 15:44

I'll tell him that him bullying his brother has drawn your attention to the fact that you are breaking the law if he does not meet the legal requirements and he now needs to use one until he does meet the legal requirements.

That should shut him up.

givemushypeasachance · 17/10/2025 15:43

If he's 11 he can read and understand the law himself - show him: https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules.

Until he is 12 years old or 135cm tall, he must use a car seat. So if he's on the short side, well he still has less than a year to wait.

Child car seats: the law

The rules for child car seats and booster seats - height, weight, age, type of vehicle, car, minibus, licensed taxi

https://www.gov.uk/child-car-seats-the-rules.

ItstheHRTpat · 17/10/2025 15:43

Show him a safety video of what happens when children arent using car seats/boosters when they need them.
As for being a bully to his brother, just do not accept it. Home is a place youre supposed to feel safe, not the source of stress like that. I'd be wondering what him and his friends are like at school if they have this attitude. Is it toxic masculinity? They're too big to adhere to the legal requirements of road safety? Do you have a community police person who you could connect with and have a talk with him

Original poster
DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:33

Do your older boys also struggle with booster seats?

OP posts:
BaconCheeses · 17/10/2025 15:33

You can not like the word punishment and you can not like your son being bullied but you ultimately need to pick what's more important cos currently your eldest is running rings around you

Shatteredallthetimelately · 17/10/2025 15:29

ShesTheAlbatross · 17/10/2025 15:16

This wouldn’t be happening either. It’s the law, so he’s using it. If wants to be driven somewhere (friend’s house, sports club, birthday party) then he can use one.

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Agree with this.

It's not you OP that's made the rule it's the law.
Best he gets used to following the rules of the law and not get to pick and choose.

No booster seat no getting in the car, unless he doesn't give a toss as it'll be someone else, as in you that gets the fine if caught, which in itself is another trait that needs knocking on the head.

Original poster
DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:26

I’m going to put his booster back in starting tonight.

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/10/2025 15:24

DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:22

What should I do about his friends? It’s heartbreaking to see him like this, stressed out and embarrassed when he’s on his booster. He feels so ashamed.

Who cares, honestly?
He's a defiant bully and you need to be firm with him, not let yourself be bossed around by a child.
I wouldn't be heartbroken on his behalf. I'd be heartbroken to hear him being cruel to his little brother.

Dollymylove · 17/10/2025 15:22

Sound like most siblings tbh. Your younger one needs to find something to retaliate with. Its called thinking on your feet. I had to do a lot of that as a kid, my older brother taunted me all the time and my mother never intervened

Original poster
DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:22

What should I do about his friends? It’s heartbreaking to see him like this, stressed out and embarrassed when he’s on his booster. He feels so ashamed.

OP posts:
TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/10/2025 15:22

DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:19

It’s complicated in practice — he sulks, yells, and just refuses. His booster is actually pretty low-key; it’s a backless Graco with armrests, a “big kid” kind of thing.

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You're the parent so you decide what's happening.
Remove treats from him.
Make sure that he realises it's because he's rude and disobedient.

Don't drive him anywhere! Leave him at home.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 17/10/2025 15:20

@DisplayRabbit you can't let a child dictate to you like this.
If he still needs a booster seat, he has to use it. It's illegal not to do this.

You need to be firm with him. Send him to bed early, without any tech.
Tell him that he'll get it back when he stops defying you and stops bullying his brother.

Original poster
DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:19

ShesTheAlbatross · 17/10/2025 15:16

This wouldn’t be happening either. It’s the law, so he’s using it. If wants to be driven somewhere (friend’s house, sports club, birthday party) then he can use one.

Show quote history

It’s complicated in practice — he sulks, yells, and just refuses. His booster is actually pretty low-key; it’s a backless Graco with armrests, a “big kid” kind of thing.

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/10/2025 15:19

I think that’s a good idea - 7 yo gets to sit in the front.

I would also consider whatever consequences would bring it home to him - loss of screen time, earlier bedtime on a weekend, loss of pocket money

Bullying is the one thing I take absolutely none of from/ between my children. No one teases or mocks anyone else.

Original poster
DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:16

ShesTheAlbatross · 17/10/2025 15:15

I’d put him in the back, 7 year old in the front seat, and say that you’ve moved him because you won’t make the 7 year old sit next to him to be bullied.

On booster seat ?

OP posts:
ShesTheAlbatross · 17/10/2025 15:16

DisplayRabbit · 17/10/2025 15:12

Well, he actually needs one he’s not yet at the ideal size but I’ve already tried explaining it to him and nothing works. He just doesn’t want a booster. To quote him, “None of my friends have one, and boosters always smell.”

Show quote history

This wouldn’t be happening either. It’s the law, so he’s using it. If wants to be driven somewhere (friend’s house, sports club, birthday party) then he can use one.

ShesTheAlbatross · 17/10/2025 15:15

I’d put him in the back, 7 year old in the front seat, and say that you’ve moved him because you won’t make the 7 year old sit next to him to be bullied.