To think most 5AA and 4AA rated embryos are boys?

Why does the question need to be sensitive? @HappyMamma2023

IVF involves "deselecting" some embryos, by the fact that there are usually more embryos than opportunities to implant. The ability to grade the embryos means that anyone involved in IVF embryo is now able to bypass the usual vagaries of nature and assume a degree of control.

Choosing your embryo based on screening its genetic conditions, or whether it is currently dividing at a frequency likely to provide you with a successful implantation also carries its own ethical debates and dilemmas.

The OP has the perfect moral, legal and ethical right to consider which of the embryos are likely to result in which sex. It may be that she has considered the fact that there is an IVF bias towards male births and feels that she wants to level the playing field, by choosing one of each sex to transfer.. It may be that she feels more maternal when she considers that one if these embryos is likely to be female. If OP was fortunate enough to not need IVF, she'd never have to wrestle with this Impossible choice.

At the end if the process, some viable embryos will nor be selected, regardless of their intrinsic value and this makes the whole selection process very hard to navigate, which is why the OP has asked for advice and support.

And threads aren’t just about applying empathy or sensitivity. If it bothers you so much just move on to a different thread.

Yes this is interesting. Does this mean that as IVF is so common now (why it’s common is another interesting question) we are going to be skewing the male/female birth patterns? And then the consequential impact of that. Fewer females for relationships. Wonder what the science bods think of this.

It’s sex, not gender.

Sex selection of embryos is rightly banned in the UK. It’s eugenics.

Effectively shopping around your graded list of embryos is disgusting and an appalling way to treat human life.

No, it isn't. It's an observation that embryos perceived to have the greatest early development and be most viable turn out to be boys, suggesting this branch of medicine has a bias towards the male of the species. Impossible to know if it is true as we can't know the sex of the unused embryos. But it would be an interesting test. How many ivf babies are male, how many are female? What stage was the embryos at after a set number of days?

My first was grade A, second was grade B. Both girls. Having been through IVF we didn't care about the sex of our babies, we just chose our embryos based on which one was most likely to be successful.

My girl was a higher grade than my boy (5AA V 3AB)

Guess it depends if op desire is to have baby 2 or a girl

no clinic is going to choose a lower grade embryo over a better one

I honestly don’t get the debate whether a boy or girl

after 10yrs ttc and 5 private costly ivf I was just so thrilled and happy to be pregnant
I didn’t care whether a boy or girl

I actually thought was having a boy till scan said girl

either way I was overjoyed to be a mummy

None of the other things you mention are remotely close to trying to select specific embryos in IVF for sex

It’s absolutely unethical.

This 100 percent. Unfortunately some posters on this thread have absolute no reality of the actual success of ivf never mind choosing the sex, however they chose to stick their 2 penny piece and respond to posters with zero empathy whilst at the same time placing themselves on their high horse

My comment about ivf is hardly strange when the topic under discussion is about ivf! you clearly don’t know much about it. The OP clearly has little perspective on the subject because deciding whether you can just have a girl or boy is naive. My response was reflective of that.

I and others are entitled to our opinions just like you however you are clearly on your high horse.

Anyway I leave you with your patronising posts.

I disagree but I’m happy to. It’s an opinion board so I commented on other posts because that’s what you do. I’m entitled to think OP isn’t unreasonable and to challenge some of the other viewpoints on the thread.

My point about relativity and being allowed to have preferences, despite others having fertility was valid - sorry you didn’t understand it.

And your point about not having IVF is extremely strange given OP is having IVF and still has gender preference! It’s totally possible to have the two - quite common I would expect. She doesn’t have to diminish her feelings just because she’s undergoing IVF or because others can’t have a child.

Having had IVF and successful pregnancy resulting in the birth of our beautiful son I think this is insensitive. To actively chose a lower grade which is less likely to result in a successful pregnancy is nuts. And I think the clinic would def advise against it. You said this will be your last pregnancy, why wouldn't you go for the highest quality abd do everything you can go ensure a healthy baby whatever the sex?

They develop slightly slower than boys generally so they get a lower grade

Surely you choose the embryo that has the highest chance of success? Choosing a lower quality embryo when you have a better quality one available is just fucking bonkers. My 4aa was a girl BTW.

You need to seriously catch a grip. Arguing about dying due to childhood illness or being alive is totally irrelevant to this post.
you must not have been through IVF as getting a child at all is the against the odds!

you seem to be going down the thread and commenting on everyone’s post who disagrees with the OP, who by the way posted this on AIBU. Yes she is being unreasonable and it’s you that is projecting!

We used 4AA and got a girl. 😁
But seriously, just hope for a healthy happy baby.

typo

I can't really answer as my 3 day transfer wasn't graded, other than being an 8 cell. She's wonderful - though I was convinced she was a boy. I genuinely didn't mind that I thought she was a boy, though I am pleased she's a girl.

We have two that were frozen on day 6 as a 5CC and 5CB. I'm convinced they're also girls, but we'll never know! I'm sure my DD would have be a similar 'low grade' on day 6.

OP I would wonder whether a lower grade could mean a less healthy placenta or baby. My LG gave me a terrible time - she was small for gestational age and came out even smaller than they thought (predicted 9th centile, born 2nd centile). She had terrible feeding/stomach problems including the most horrific reflux, choking, not gaining weight. I have always wondered how much (if at all) her 'grade' contributed to this. However she's now an amazing little girl and I wouldn't change it or her for the world!

That’s your life - people don’t have to live by your experiences and choices.

Well that’s you. People shouldn’t have to feel guilty because others are struggling.

Should I love every minute of life because I’m lucky I didn’t die of a childhood illness unlike some people? Should I walk around thanking my lucky stars I’m breathing everyday because others aren’t?

Youre projecting. It’s very sad when people suffer with infertility, life changing sad. But that shouldn’t mean OP can’t have a gender preference (like lots/most of people have at some stage).

On a population scale it’s unethical, yes.

But OP sharing her desire to have a girl isn’t unethical. Loads of people time sex, eat special foods, have sex in different positions etc to attempt to have certain sex child - may not work but it’s human nature to have preferences.

Dont make OP feel guilty for being human.

You're projecting.

This.
id be grateful for a baby never mind what bloody sex it is

No actually
that choice would mean I don’t have my 3rd son
the actual live 18 year old I love with all my heart