I 44(f) found out that my dads parents were paedophiles and sexually abused him and his brother as young children. My dad became an alcoholic when he retired from his stressful job early and it was when drunk that he told me what they had done. My mum only found out when i was a teenager.
My dad died several years ago and I have a trickly relationship with my mum who has a lot of narcissistic tendencies and is an eternal victim with life being so much harder for her than anyone else.
what i struggle with is that I was sent to stay with my grandparents every summer for a week from a young age, i cannot remember if anything happened. When i tried to discuss this with my mum she said she didnt know and wouldnt have sent me if she had known, but when I pointed out that she never even asked if anything happened she just looked perplexed and we have never spoken of it since.
I believe my dad was in denial and that he threw himself into work and that it eventually led to him becoming an alcoholic and having mental health issues.
Am I being unreasonable feeling troubled by this? All i can think is that I would go to the ends of the earth to protect my children but my dad pretended it never happened and my mum seems so focused on herself that she is wholly untroubled by the fsct I was sent to stay with paedophiles!!