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AIBU?

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Original poster

To of lost it with DH

163 replies

HP200 · 17/10/2025 07:40

So back story DH and I both work him 5 days and me 4, we both get up at the same time. DH gets up and goes straight to work I do washing, walk dogs, tidy, kids lunch boxes etc and we walk in the door in the evening within 5 mins of each other. My ‘day’ off extra I go food shopping and do the house work and often move this day around to attend appointments for my SEN child.
DH loads the dishwasher and I do maybe 95% of cooking, cleaning, shopping, washing.
i was late home last night due to a hospital appointment and DH was cooking and had the hump so asked what was up, apparently I didn’t thank him for putting the bins out for me the day before. This is the second time in 7 years he has done this so I have done it every single other week. I pointed out in that case he owes me hundreds of thank yous and he doesn’t get a round of applause for actually doing something that is not ‘my job’ and he lives here too. I was then told I was moody and nasty so we spent the night in silence- AIBU for my response as he texted this morning to say that I was?

OP posts:
ChikinLikin · 17/10/2025 07:57

My ex was the same. He wasn't a true partner, more like a grumpy lodger who complained if any demands were made on him. I should have split up sooner.

Original poster
HP200 · 17/10/2025 07:52

That’s how I feel most of the time- like I have an extra child as the whole mental load of pets, kids, Christmas, birthdays etc falls directly onto me. He will often point out my extra ‘day off’ but it’s not a day off it’s catching up with housework, washing, stripping beds etc and I literally don’t stop. I plan every dinner and meal so couldn’t raise a round of applause for putting the bins out for the second time

OP posts:
TeaAndTattoos · 17/10/2025 07:52

He only put the bins out that doesn’t need a thank you maybe a sarcastic slow clap for finally realising that he has a working pair of arms and legs and knows how to put the bins out who did he think did it every other week the bin fairy. tell him to get a grip and stop whinging about the lack of a thank you for doing something that he only does once in a blue moon bloody baby.

Therealjudgejudy · 17/10/2025 07:50

Why are you putting up with this? Time to go on strike...

JudgeBread · 17/10/2025 07:50

May this kind of love never find me 🙏

(No of course you're not being unreasonable, you're not the maid!)

CrustyBread1977 · 17/10/2025 07:47

He sees you as the “mum” of the household. Ick.

andthat · 17/10/2025 07:47

HP200 · 17/10/2025 07:40

So back story DH and I both work him 5 days and me 4, we both get up at the same time. DH gets up and goes straight to work I do washing, walk dogs, tidy, kids lunch boxes etc and we walk in the door in the evening within 5 mins of each other. My ‘day’ off extra I go food shopping and do the house work and often move this day around to attend appointments for my SEN child.
DH loads the dishwasher and I do maybe 95% of cooking, cleaning, shopping, washing.
i was late home last night due to a hospital appointment and DH was cooking and had the hump so asked what was up, apparently I didn’t thank him for putting the bins out for me the day before. This is the second time in 7 years he has done this so I have done it every single other week. I pointed out in that case he owes me hundreds of thank yous and he doesn’t get a round of applause for actually doing something that is not ‘my job’ and he lives here too. I was then told I was moody and nasty so we spent the night in silence- AIBU for my response as he texted this morning to say that I was?

YABVU for putting up with this shit.

Why are you being a mug?

RunningForTheTrain · 17/10/2025 07:46

putting the bins out for me
😂😂😂
Your bins are they?
Tell him to get a grip!

PermanentTemporary · 17/10/2025 07:45

Sounds as if he’s miserable and unfortunately deciding to pick a fight and make you miserable too? Not ok.

soupyspoon · 17/10/2025 07:45

Doesnt sound like 'losing it' to me

Come round here if you want to see someone losing their shit with a man child.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 17/10/2025 07:45

Your 'd' h is a knobhead. How dare he expect you to thank him when he doesn't thank you when you do the same job, week in, week out.
I'd be writing down the list of every single job I do that he never thanks me for and then see what the twat has to say.
It's nice to be appreciated, but it works both ways.

Myfridgeiscool · 17/10/2025 07:44

He didn’t put the bin out for you…he did it for the household.
Ask him if you can swap roles, he’s getting a good deal isn’t he.

Woahtherehoney · 17/10/2025 07:42

Absolutely YANBU. He can’t expect a thank you if he never says thank you to you! And as you rightly point out, you both live in the house so are both responsible for all the jobs, not just you!

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