To of lost it with DH

I’m absolutely gobsmacked that 2% have voted the OP as unreasonable. That’s mental.

ETA, once upon a time DH would say ‘yes, I’ve done that for you’ or indeed just told me about a general chore he had done like expecting a round of applause. I stamped that shit out quickly.

I honestly thought we'd got past that. However, all these posts about women waiting for proposals and doing all the domestic work makes me think we've gone back in time.

Yes, when mine were teenagers they did at least this! Plus GCSEs etc as well!
He's got a cushy life.

Yeah that was my feeling too. OP you need to stop enabling this behaviour.

Dishwasher, occasional bins and occasional cooking, he literally does the same (probably less) than my 15 year old son. And he doesn’t stand around waiting to be thanked.

When are some people going to get it into their heads that women were not put on this earth to spend their lives enslaved to men?

OP, I don’t know which of you or your DH pisses me off more in this scenario.

WTF is wrong with women who allow this to happen? And who have their DC watching this family dynamic with woman as slave and man as spolit, entitled twat?

Your chores should be split. But tbh you’ve fucked yourself over so hard it’s difficult to know where to start.

Don’t send him that cartoon. Your scenario isn’t a joke.

He has come to rely on you being his pseudo-mother; he sounds childish and emotionally immature. A marriage is a union of balanced respect and responsibility; it's rubbish, no pun intended, that you have to soothe him by applauding, like you would your child when they used the potty, when he contributes his fair share, like an adult man.
He seems to want recognition for his role within the union. Maybe you should communicate with him, letting him know how disappointed you are that he refuses to honour your efforts to maintain the family home. You'd appreciate it if he communicated at a time when he is feeling undervalued.

Sit down together, write out a chore sheet and stick it on the fridge. He may then finally realise that it's not a magical fairy that does all the work and that his lovely wife does vast majority. He's been an idiot on this occasion.

Edited: sorry loads of other people have said similar.

I was going to say this.

Tell him you are going to work 5 days per week from now on, so all chores must be split 50/50, and give him a list of EVERYTHING you do, with a new rota that shows them now split in half.

Also ask him, if the bins are now yours, where is he putting his rubbish? Should he schedule a weekly run to the recycling centre for his rubbish?

Lastly, it's have not of......sorry to be a pedant, but it's good to get this right going forward.

Was this the case from the very beginning? Did he do nothing at home?

Sorry OP but if my DH expected a round of applause for putting the bins out, I'd have laughed in his face! That is absolutely ridiculous 🙄 it's not 'your' job to do it, it's a household job that anyone can see needs doing and just do it. Maybe you should sit down with him and make a list of all household chores and divide them equally?

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE text this to him NOW

😂😂

Start demanding more from him. I've been there with my DH, and still have to remind him to do tasks sometimes. I'd complain there was a mess in the kitchen and he'd say he'd emptied the dishwasher or whatever as if that one 5 min job counted against everything I'd been doing / needed doing.

His problem is that he sees his wife as the person with all the caring and domestic responsibilities. He has either got some regressive gender role ideas or is just a lazy twerp. She has chosen to do it all.
That's become acceptable and habitual in the household. Instead of nipping it in the bud, she's allowed it to happen, just doing everything.

Knob. HTH too.

I don't get this 'taking out the bins' as an achievement... not really a 'job' is it? Unless you live in a stately home with a long drive. More something you do quickly between several other bigger jobs ; an afterthought on a Sunday night. It's like when my neighbour told me she had hosted her family for the whole of Christmas. I asked if she'd had any help and she told me her son had made the gravy!! Wow! now you're really spoiling her!

Time to start sarcastic clapping every time he does something. Does he really want a medal for doing a tiny job? What the hell is his problem?

Stop propping his life up and demand respect for yourself. How on earth did you sleep walk into this situation? Come on op, you know you worth more than this.

Ha, same here.

OP, you are a total mug.

Who gets the most free time? It’s not about who does what exactly, it’s about a fair split of time. If he’s working 5 days in a job then coming home and relaxing while you’re working 4 days in a job and taking on household and family chores that keep you working longer hours than he does just doing his job then that is clearly unfair.

I would have thanked him for putting the bins out, because I thank my husband for doing chores. The difference being that my husband thanks me for doing chores. He works more hours than I do and I do more of the household stuff, but we’re both really busy and try to help each other as much as possible because we’re a team.

He’s in the same category as men who want a thanks for “babysitting” their own kids!!!! I assume he creates mess and eats so only right he should take the bins out and cook. Arsehole (him not you!!)

Or "helping", as in "I helped you with the..."