Page 3 | If you ask your DH/DP to stop doing something, do they?

IHate · 2025-10-16T20:20:13+00:00

Not the big stuff, just the everyday “please don’t do X, it’s annoying” category of domestic crimes. A friend was recently ranting about her husband using her very expensive face cream. Abandoning his usual pleasant and reasonable persona, he apparently goes in like a man digging trenches, scoops out half the pot, and leaves the lid off so it congeals into some sort of luxury spackle. I said, “Have you asked him to stop?” and she looked at me as though I’d proposed witchcraft. Then she said, quite seriously, “That wouldn’t work.” In our house, if one of us does something the other dislikes, we say so, the offender stops, and life goes on. But it seems this is not how all relationships operate. So: YABU: I wouldn’t ask and/or they wouldn’t stop if I did YANBU: It really isn’t that complicated

blankcanvas3 · 16/10/2025 21:35

Yes, he’s extremely well trained

CatAsstrophe · 16/10/2025 21:32

Tralalalama · 16/10/2025 21:26

My husbands an arsehole and barely ever stops anything I ask unless there’s a reason for him (eg stop dripping water down the back of the sink it’s making the wortop mouldy, he would stop because he doesn’t want the cost of a new worktop)
But if I ask him to stop leaving shoes by the front door because I can’t get the pram out the door with them all in the way. Nothing happens.
I spend my life putting his shoes away.

also he’s an arsehole and when he’s feeling particularly mean he will do all the things I’ve said not to do on purpose to annoy me/ hurt me/ punish me. So telling him stuff to stop often becomes ammunition.

Edited

He's abusing you.

I'd put his shoes away permanently - in the bin. I'd bin him off too. Asshole.

ForgetTheTomatoes · 16/10/2025 21:32

Yes he would stop. I have asked him to stop doing things and he has. He also apologised if he forgot. He would leave his folded damp towel on the bed, he now puts it on the heated towel rail and has done for the past 28 years.

Or he finds a solution, he squeezes the toothpaste from the middle so now we have one each, he can squeeze his from the middle and I have my separate tube as it costs nothing extra.

Using your expensive face cream, he can buy you new ones when they run out. Ds1 didn't realise how expensive my moisturiser was because he had never bought it (teenager) but when he realised he asked if there was a cheaper one he could use but I said I was happy to keep paying for it. It is £30 a pot, he started to use less and realised he could use less.

Blarn · 16/10/2025 21:30

Yes, unless it's putting the sharp knives sharp blade side up on the draining board. That for some reason he simply will not stop doing.

Original poster

IHate · 16/10/2025 21:29

Tralalalama · 16/10/2025 21:26

My husbands an arsehole and barely ever stops anything I ask unless there’s a reason for him (eg stop dripping water down the back of the sink it’s making the wortop mouldy, he would stop because he doesn’t want the cost of a new worktop)
But if I ask him to stop leaving shoes by the front door because I can’t get the pram out the door with them all in the way. Nothing happens.
I spend my life putting his shoes away.

also he’s an arsehole and when he’s feeling particularly mean he will do all the things I’ve said not to do on purpose to annoy me/ hurt me/ punish me. So telling him stuff to stop often becomes ammunition.

Edited

That sounds really hard. I’m sorry.

OP posts:

Cookieandcandy · 16/10/2025 21:28

Tralalalama · 16/10/2025 21:26

My husbands an arsehole and barely ever stops anything I ask unless there’s a reason for him (eg stop dripping water down the back of the sink it’s making the wortop mouldy, he would stop because he doesn’t want the cost of a new worktop)
But if I ask him to stop leaving shoes by the front door because I can’t get the pram out the door with them all in the way. Nothing happens.
I spend my life putting his shoes away.

also he’s an arsehole and when he’s feeling particularly mean he will do all the things I’ve said not to do on purpose to annoy me/ hurt me/ punish me. So telling him stuff to stop often becomes ammunition.

Edited

That’s abusive. LTB

SeriouslyStressed · 16/10/2025 21:28

Maybe she’s seen this and doesn’t want to face the truth?

If you ask your DH/DP to stop doing something, do they?

Shoxfordian · 16/10/2025 21:26

He wouldn't start in the first place

Tralalalama · 16/10/2025 21:26

My husbands an arsehole and barely ever stops anything I ask unless there’s a reason for him (eg stop dripping water down the back of the sink it’s making the wortop mouldy, he would stop because he doesn’t want the cost of a new worktop)
But if I ask him to stop leaving shoes by the front door because I can’t get the pram out the door with them all in the way. Nothing happens.
I spend my life putting his shoes away.

also he’s an arsehole and when he’s feeling particularly mean he will do all the things I’ve said not to do on purpose to annoy me/ hurt me/ punish me. So telling him stuff to stop often becomes ammunition.

Holluschickie · 16/10/2025 21:24

Of course he would. And so would I.
He would never use my stuff without asking.

Cookieandcandy · 16/10/2025 21:24

My OH would stop if I asked him. Couldn’t live with someone who didn’t care that they were upsetting me.
My father was a selfish twat who deliberately upset my mother.