Ex wants to take DD (4) to Jamaica

This

If you can go too (and he pays) that might make work. Otherwise without no. I wouldn't do it. I have a DC same age, she'd be lost without me for that long. Trust your gut OP.

Based on this added information no I wouldn’t let her go without you also being there. Is there an option for you to holiday there and drop her off and pick up for the wedding?

Where are you seeing that Jamaica is not a signatory?

I would not be happy. Does she have a passport? If not I would order one tomorrow so you have it

Do you trust his mum? Does she and the close family live in the UK?

Most parental abductions that I am aware of involve a different religion to the mother, where the father takes the child to live with relatives of his religion. Would that be the case here? I assume not, and that the wider family are happy that the child, the father, and probably the grandmother all live in the UK.

A family wedding and trip to experience half of her heritage would be amazing for your child. I wouldn't want to prevent this due to random people's (possibly racist) opinions on MN.

If you trust the Grandmother, I have no doubt she and the family will do their utmost to keep the child safe and risk would be very low in regular, residential areas amongst family.

Don't offer to go with them, that just opens up a whole new can of worms. Travelling with your child may seem safer because you’re there but legally, it places both of you within his jurisdiction. He is a citizen with property and family ties, you are not so you might find he has more leverage and influence while yours is limited. He could refuses to let your child leave, withhold her passport, or start custody proceedings against you in the Jamaican courts, at which point you're fighting a legal battle within an unfamiliar system.

I would be inclined to say no, she's too young right now. It doesn't sound as though you trust him enough to know if he will bring her back. He probably will, but it will be a lot of worry. Also, she is highly likely to miss you and not want to be away from you for such a long time, as she is very young and depending on her personality, meeting so many new people whilst being away from you may be too overwhelming.
I would either say no, or go as well.

I would not allow this for an eight-year-old let alone a four-year-old.

Exactly. You go too or she cannot go.

You can apply to the court for a Prohibited Steps Order, it's around £260.

Your grounds would be:

• your daughter is only 4 years old
• your ex has never had her for extended periods or as the main caregiver
• he only has limited contact
• you are the primary caregiver and your daughter’s emotional security and routine are based around you
• there is no justification that the trip would be in her best interests
• he has property, family, and citizenship ties to Jamaica which are massive red flags in terms of abduction risk

Has he said or done anything specific that would suggest he might not return her?

Regardless, YANBU to say no on the grounds that it's not in her best interests to be so far away from you for an extended period of time.

She’d be away for much longer than a weekend (how long?!) in a completely strange place with no way of seeing you. It is ridiculous. It would cause her an emotional rupture.

I've just read the UK governments travel advice for Jamaica.

Not a chance would I allow my child to go there.

I think you'll find that in cases like this, mothers often refuse to allow their ex-partners to take their children back to their home country, due to the risk that they won't be brought home.

I've only heard of cases where the father takes the kids, sometimes out of spite, sometimes to ensure the child grows up with their fathers culture or religion, and always with the bonus that the father doesn't have to pay child support anymore, and it's likely far cheaper gor the child to be brough up by family members in the fathers home country.

There are cases of UK women who's children are in countries like Pakistan or Egypt, where even if there's a court order for the kids to be returned to the mother, the police say they can't find them. I would worry that something similar could happen in Jamaica.

I just wouldn't risk it.

No, what if he doesnt bring her back?

Absolutely not. Far too far away and far too long a trip given that she only spends every other weekend with one overnight with him when she's only 4.

I also wouldn't countenance my child being taken to a country where my partner had a home / could easily remain, particularly one which is so far away and not a Hague signatory. As pp have stated, if she doesn't have a passport yet, sort it now so it comes to you and keep any passport / docs under lock and key. Would she be entitled to and would he try to apply for a Jamaican passport for her? What could you do about that?

Same. I think you'd need to have a really unusually strong and trusting coparenting relationship for this to be acceptable

International parental child abduction - GOV.UK

Can you say it’s too long away from you? Id personally say no at that age. Unless
you go too.

I'm surprised at some of the advice on here. Absolutely not.. Jamaica is not a particularly safe country, you're her main carer giver, she's only four and it's too far. Just no

I'd let her go on the proviso she spends more time with dad in one go near home first, to see how she coped without you, her main care giver, for so long. X

I would not be happy with this, unless I was also traveling.

Fair enough. It's just you can prevent it if it really is a risk. If it's unlikely, that's a good start

I don't see an issue if the father is a decent person and you don't think there is any risk of abduction and he has experience of having her for extended periods by himself. Is the family from Jamaica? If so there will be lots of extended family she can meet and I am sure they will dote on her.
We have done long haul flights with young kids its fine ( tiring) but fine.

Absolutely not. Unless they want to pay for you to come as well, she would not be going