SIL asking I don't bring my nephew along to Centre Parc holiday trip

Right got it! My bad. You’d just need to contact the park I guess to ensure they were on the booking.

You pay per villa and can’t exceed maximum occupancy.

You are correct.

I’m still really confused at the idea that people seem to think you can just chuck a child in the spare room at a centre parcs.

you pay per person not per accommodation so the park would expect more money, which would be (knowing centre parcs) a heafty price for this extra child.

they often have wrist bands for entering swimming pools etc which the child would not have and they count the number of people going in at a check point to catch people trying to sneak a kid in.

unless someone has been recently and says to the contrary, this would involve an extra charge for the person paying for the trip and is not just a cute add on by OP.

I still think it's rude, even at no extra cost. They are paying for all the accommodation so have the right to chose who stays in it, in my opinion.

It changes the dynamics if there are people there that aren't part of the family or that people don't know as well.

You haven’t been rude and I think taking your nephew is a nice idea but they are paying so it’s their call.

More importantly they obvs have you done for Ava care! Which seems to be ok for you and for her so you won’t be a spare part.

I know it’s a bit annoying but just enjoy it and your time with Ava.

she has you planned as the babysitter. Eyes wide open

Well, not really. That means OP's husband has to go on his own so less good for him or they both pull out and less good for SiL.

Apparently there's a spare room anyway so is there extra cost?

To buck the trend I see no issue in you having asked.

If it was me, in the more the merrier sort. I think bringing another adult would be weird, but a little kid, when you’ve got the space I wouldn’t bat an eyelid too personally.

However I would respect her decision to say no when she is funding it.

I don’t think I would fancy this sort of holiday if I were childless either though either, so agree with your line of thought there also. I would of course go and just suck it up for family as I wouldn’t be paying anyway.

You asked and SIL said no.You both have valid reasons, best to move on and not make a big deal if it.

You’ve either not actually read the thread or this is a bot. Not even close.

Sounds like chatgpt wrote this

I'm an outdoor person, but I just love Centre parcs with the traffic free environment for cycling, fitness opportunities, nature centre. I don't actually enjoy it so much with DC just3 although he has a fab time.

Restaurants are a bit pricey but you can self cater..
My ambition has been to retire to centre parcs lol

You had no right to ask. She is paying. It seems very rude to me. She knew you had no kids and could have suggested it herself. She didnt.Irrelevant her husband agreed. You were wrong to ask.
Bet they had a row. You put her in an awkward position.
Am surprised you dont gey it.

I don’t think you’re being rude and think it’s a nice sentiment to bring the nephew but have voted yabu just because I think it’s fair if the SIL doesn’t want to invite your nephew and think it’s sweet she’s said that her daughter loves spending time with you so I’m sure you’re not going to feel a spare part. The dynamic would probably be different bringing you nephew as he may not be as relaxed being around lots of people he doesn’t know therefore you’ll be super focussed on the nephew and the weekend is supposed to be about the birthday girl

I think what's happened is your BiL wasnt really thinking and off the cuff went "go for it", SiL has thought about it, perhaps asked Ava the birthday girl, who has basically said "no thanks, it's my birthday and I want it to be with my family",or SiL has sussed out thats how she would feel - and its her birthday treat. She's clearly imagining playing around with her fun aunt, doing nails etc (not sure what age she is but maybe look at the spa menu and see if you can get a mini manicure together - the spa is also glorious, much better than you'd imagine). Ultimately, if you were paying for the accomodation then it'd maybe be different, but it's her birthday, her mum is paying, you can't bring an unrelated random child. I totally get why you'd want to, but you can't, it'd be rude. Also, it'd make your niece sad on her birthday, which matters more than being rude.
I'm trying to think of an equivalent, I guess it's a bit like taking a plus 1 to a wedding, when you'd don't have a plus 1. Sure maybe there's physical space, but an invite is for specific, wanted, guests - it's not just a case of "they fancy it and there's a space"

I don't agree that they want you to be there to nanny/help with the other kids. They've organised (let's be honest) a wildly expensive/overpriced treat for their daughter. They want it to be exactly how they/she imagine it to be, with the exact people they want and love and for it to go perfectly to plan (as much as these things can). It's not a normal holiday, they're paying effectively for a birthday party, for specific beloved relatives. They (I imagine) are just doting on their daughter and wanting the whole weekend to be about her and what she wants and who she loves (which is fair enough on her birthday). They don't want her favourite aunt to be distracted/playing with a random (to them) child.

Even if she wasn't paying I think it is pretty off. You're essentially bringing a child who the kid doesn't really know, this is likely to be awkward for everyone and detracts from the fact that it is her birthday. The only way it would be reasonable is if you/sister didn't have childcare and it was unavoidable. It's very diplomatic that the mum has given the reason that xxx just wants to spend time with you. What probably happened is she said "That CF, why on earth did you say her nephew could come? I wouldn't be able to pick him out of a lineup".

If you’re going to criticise at least get the family setup correct 😂

Agreed. Sounds like she wants her child to be at the centre of the event and for it to be special for her. Fair enough really, especially as she’s being so generous.

In truth it is rude to not take the invite graciously and go and be part of your family. You are showing your colours clearly that you don’t find your granddaughter good company because you openly complain of her ‘girliness’ So try and use the holiday to get to know her more. Maybe she is more fun than you think. I’d be so offended if I was your daughter and son in law. Act now. Sort it out!

'AIBU to invite an unrelated 4 year old on a trip that someone else is paying for to stop me getting bored' has to be one of the most bonkers questions I've seen on this site.

Pleased to see a few more sensible replies rather than the blanket ‘you are shockingly rude op’ approach 😂

It’s fine for her to say no. It’s also fine for you to say no to babysitting her daughter. Just because she’s paid doesn’t mean she gets to dictate how you spend your time.

Sounds like sil wants a baby sitter,so she has free time.

Hey op the decision has been made but do you think she said no because your attention will be divided and she wants her dd to have all your attention or she’s expecting you to mind Ava so she can do grown up stuff without worrying about Ava.