SIL asking I don't bring my nephew along to Centre Parc holiday trip

@Grammarninja. depends how old they are re inviting friends. Not many people let their little kid go off with non relative for a weekend

It’s absolutely not rude to ask! I really don’t understand why people think that asking a question is inherently rude. You asked, fine. You’ve been told no, also fine.

It's clearly a family event and SIL is just trying to find a diplomatic way (which involves a compliment to you in terms of her daughter's feelings about you) of saying that she doesn't want any outsiders. I totally get it and it's quite rude to expect to bring along someone unrelated to the family. If she wanted unrelated kids there, she'd have invited her daughter's best friend.

I think it's very rude not even a close child to family

You’re being one heck of a CF

Personally dont see the harm in letting the little boy join if there’s a bed for him and OP was willing to contribute to his share

Sounds like it’s quite a sizeable group. How would an extea little boy - close family to the OP - tip the dynamic?

Or, they decided to do a family trip to Centre Parcs and rather than expect people to foot the bill, have generously offered to pay.

I'm fairly confident that nobody is being issued a summons to attend. If OP and her husband are so against going, they can say no. You're assigning preciousness where there's no evidence of any. It's quite mean-spirited.

It’s not about you. It’s SILs birthday. If you will be bored and don’t want to go, don’t go.

Your SIL doesn't want another DC there because it's your niece's birthday and she wants you to focus on her. I wouldn't bank on doing too much outside the park because that will probably get your SIL's back up as well, if your niece is a bit clingy with you she'll get upset if you're not around and your SIL will be annoyed all over again.
You know what they say about no such thing as a free lunch, well that goes for CP trips as well Op

You asked in such a public way, it was hard to say no.

the child isnt expecting it no. The parents seem to be expecting extended family to faun over their kid though

OP isnt a blood relation of the kid

Can someone explain where this presumption that OP is expected to babysit is coming from because I can't see anything in the thread to suggest this.

OP mentions an imbalance in the pool (??) but other than that, there's absolutely no reason to assume that from a group of fifteen adults and children, OP will be expected to babysit. The comment about niece wanting quality time was more likely SIL's polite way of refusing to allow OP to bring an extra child since she well and truly put them on the spot in the group chat!

Then don't go if you'll be bored. I think it's not right to ask to bring your nephew.

Yes, you were completely rude.

I don’t understand why people are putting such an emphasis on the importance niece wanting time with you

she’s your husband’s niece. You’re the uncles wife.

make sure you book into the spa all day

Please don't do this! It's so unbelievably cheeky. You asked, which was already problematic. You were told no. To push the issue of bringing an extra on a trip you're not paying for is wild behaviour. Especially since you're making it glaringly obvious that you don't want to spend all your time with your niece but would have no qualms doing so with your nephew!

Don’t take her, it’s rude to ask

I see both sides tbf. I totally understand why you thought it was reasonable to suggest bringing your nephew, but I equally understand SIL wants your neice to have bonding time with you.

if you’ve already told your nephew that’s now v awkward, perhaps his parents could bring him on a day pass?

also if you’re worried about being childcare the whole wkend you and your DH could book a spa afternoon to have a couple of hours to yourselves.

Center Parcs is not boring!

This is ridiculous and spiteful, like the child is expecting to be lavished with attention because her parents decided to do a family trip for her birthday?!

I don’t think it was rude to ask SIL privately but quite rude to put it in a group chat.
There are going to be 15 other people, including grandparents and presumably plenty of other children.
If you didn’t want to go, you should have said. So you’re either going to celebrate your niece's birthday, or you’re not.

You have nailed it i think!

Seems like a huge expense for a kids birthday

Are they being a bit precious?

i hear you, why would you want to hang out at CP as a young and free 30 year old?

how many adults does birthday girl need to lavish her with attention?

If your not paying. You shouldn't have asked it's cheeky.

You’re the childcare, OP. Sorry but SIL is paying for your services, not your company. The gushing comment about Ava loving spending time with you is to butter you up. If you are going, make sure you get some free time of your own and it isn’t all taken up with auntie duties.

To answer your OP, I think you were BU to invite another child along because it’s not your gig.