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Original poster

Wish DS would shut up about his gfs ex career

163 replies

LyndieLoula · 16/10/2025 16:45

DS is 25, he’s intelligent and generally I get on really well. About a year ago he moved abroad, he seems happy with this choice and about 6 months ago he started dating a new girl. His ex wrecked him (cheated, lied and was generally very manipulative) so I was happy to see him happy. However every single time we talk he cannot help but mention that his GF used to model. Which is true she did used to model and walked in some shows at fashion weeks etc. She quit and finished uni got a degree in Literature and Philosophy and is now building a career.
I do not care that his GF used to model and DS always says it in a very smug way, it makes me wonder if he is with the girl because he likes her or if he just enjoys saying his partner is an ex model. It’s infuriating and it really makes me view him quite poorly! My younger DS said that sometimes if he shows his brother a picture of a girl he’s going on a date with he replies “yeah she’s alright, I feel like I’ve been spoiled dating an ex model” which is beyond sickening to me.
AIBU to be really infuriated and disappointed that this seems to be something he can’t help but mention?? I’ve told him we know she used to be a model and that’s great but we’d much rather hear about what she’s doing now but it seems to have fallen on deaf ears!

OP posts:
Quantumfisiks · 16/10/2025 17:58

Tigerbalmshark · 16/10/2025 17:02

DH and I would rip the piss out of DS if he was doing that! “Oh is she an ex model? You’ve never mentioned it before. DH, did you know she was an ex model? No, me either. DS2, did you know she was an ex model?”

agree- taking the piss is the only way forward.

the snide remarks about any woman who isn’t a model must be annoying. There are plenty of beautiful actresses who have never been runway models. it’s so height and body shape specific that it doesn’t really equate with attractiveness.

models are stunning but it’s one type of look.

Nestingbirds · 16/10/2025 17:58

’DS there is much more to your gf than the fact she is an ex model. It does feel reductive to simply measure her this way’

I wouldn’t be standing for this kind of misogyny op. Nip it in the bud. He is embarrassing himself - and her almost certainly. She WILL dump him if he continues, nothing creates the ick quite as swiftly as a lame hangdog limping after her - standing in her shadows.

Your son needs his own story, and self esteem built from his own achievements and not by association.

BoudiccaRuled · 16/10/2025 17:56

I'd be saying "I hope you don't drone on to your new friends about your gf having been a model - makes you sound a right twat".
He needs calling out on it.

PixieandMe · 16/10/2025 17:53

AnnieRegent · 16/10/2025 17:38

But presumably when other people mention their father's careers you don't say "oh how boring, I suppose I've been spoiled because MY father used to DANCE"

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Of course not but as I wrote, it's a new relationship. Okay maybe he is bragging about it a bit but he's proud and happy.

Didimum · 16/10/2025 17:42

AnnieRegent · 16/10/2025 17:38

But presumably when other people mention their father's careers you don't say "oh how boring, I suppose I've been spoiled because MY father used to DANCE"

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You also don’t continually boil a woman down to her appearance. It gives the very real impression that this is the priority value.

Firedrink · 16/10/2025 17:41

I wouldn't hesitate to tell him he sounds like a right twat and you are cringing for him.
I wouldn't be listening to such shite from my son's, particularly if he was saying that to his brother.

Bumdrops · 16/10/2025 17:41

Say … “you mention that a lot, is that cos you think you are punching up ?”

AnnieRegent · 16/10/2025 17:38

PixieandMe · 16/10/2025 17:28

I mean, I wouldn't find what your son said to his brother 'beyond sickening.'

I would be happy that my child was happy and making new friends and relationships in the new country.

It's a fairly new relationship and probably a novelty to be able to tell people that his new girlfriend is both clever and beautiful.

My father worked as a dancer in the West End when I was very young and I still tell people about it. Nothing wrong with a bit of glamour to add some sparkle to life.

Edited

But presumably when other people mention their father's careers you don't say "oh how boring, I suppose I've been spoiled because MY father used to DANCE"

VictoriaEra2 · 16/10/2025 17:35

Cookieandcandy · 16/10/2025 16:56

He is proud of his beautiful girlfriend. That’s not a crime

Agree. Let him be excited by it.

Didimum · 16/10/2025 17:32

You don’t need to treat him like a child who needs guidance and is still learning the right and wrong things to say.

He’s an adult who should have way more self awareness and decency than this. Tell him he sounds like a twat and you’re disappointed in it.

WatchingTheDetective · 16/10/2025 17:32

I'm sure his gf will be fed up of him soon enough. If she's studying philosophy she is probably thinking she'd prefer to be thought of as clever rather than beautiful. I know they're not mutually exclusive by any means, but she's had a real change in direction. He seems to want to be with her for her looks - I can't see that lasting.

AbsentosaurusRex · 16/10/2025 17:31

YANBU. He’s not much of a catch for the girl is he? Hopefully she’ll dump him. Then everyone can get back to normal.

Redpeach · 16/10/2025 17:31

What are his male role models like

PixieandMe · 16/10/2025 17:28

I mean, I wouldn't find what your son said to his brother 'beyond sickening.'

I would be happy that my child was happy and making new friends and relationships in the new country.

It's a fairly new relationship and probably a novelty to be able to tell people that his new girlfriend is both clever and beautiful.

My father worked as a dancer in the West End when I was very young and I still tell people about it. Nothing wrong with a bit of glamour to add some sparkle to life.

battairzeedurgzome · 16/10/2025 17:27

This is very irritating on your son's part, but will no doubt be resolved when his girlfriend finds someone less shallow.

outerspacepotato · 16/10/2025 17:17

Would you have such an issue with his mentioning her former career if she had been a paralegal or a teacher?

It's weird to get aggravated by it.

niadainud · 16/10/2025 17:16

My younger DS said that sometimes if he shows his brother a picture of a girl he’s going on a date with he replies “yeah she’s alright, I feel like I’ve been spoiled dating an ex model”

This is pretty grim for a number of reasons.

Marble10 · 16/10/2025 17:14

He obviously can’t believe his luck in being able to pull an ex model 😂 hope it doesn’t end in heartbreak!

FuzzyWolf · 16/10/2025 17:14

It’s probably also worth pointing out that the current generation of nepo babies have set the bar for modelling very low so you don’t even need to have traditional or stereotypical model looks to be able to be a model these days.

FarmGirl78 · 16/10/2025 17:12

This reminds me of Johnny Briggs Childrens TV programme....

"My Mum.... who's a nurse....."

SillyQuail · 16/10/2025 17:11

I think I'd ask him why he keeps mentioning it and how he thinks it makes him come across, get him to reflect on how it must make his gf feel that this aspect of her is all he's apparently interested in. She is educated and intelligent so she's hardly likely to be impressed by someone who's fixated on her appearance long term. I remember my first bf at uni being overly keen to tell everyone he knew when I was approached once in the street by a talent scout for a modelling agency and I found it really off-putting. We ended up breaking up not that long after.

BeMintFatball · 16/10/2025 17:10

I would tell your son that gf being an ex model is the least interesting part of her.

Good looks are fleeting. A degree is an achievement.

Ask about her current career

londongirl12 · 16/10/2025 17:10

Say to him exactly what you have said on here - does he actually like her, or is he wasting her time.

FuzzyWolf · 16/10/2025 17:08

LyndieLoula · 16/10/2025 17:06

See that’s the concern, DS2 takes it as DS1 saying “yeah the girl you’re dating is cute but she’s nothing on my gf … the ex model” which I really don’t like as frankly who cares?!

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So you have to explain to your younger son that your older son is being a twat and going out with an ex-model is nothing to brag about.

CrazyGoatLady · 16/10/2025 17:08

LyndieLoula · 16/10/2025 17:06

See that’s the concern, DS2 takes it as DS1 saying “yeah the girl you’re dating is cute but she’s nothing on my gf … the ex model” which I really don’t like as frankly who cares?!

Show quote history

Yeah, honestly, tell him straight to put a lid on that shite, it's unkind and sexist.