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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find salary offered an insult?

508 replies

Willowtree5 · 16/10/2025 14:20

As part of a restructure, I have been asked if I would take on three direct reports (I currently don’t manage anyone, but have in the past - big pull of current role was no line management responsibility).

I said I’d consider it - whilst I know I can manage people, it does add to my workload and the ‘mental load’ of dealing with all the crap around sickness/absence, 1:1’s etc.

My manager said she’d establish what additional uplift to my salary would be possible and let me know.

They’ve come back with an offer of £125,000 (current salary pre bonuses £105,000) which I find frankly insulting given the workload this would add.

AIBU to tell them to stuff it?

OP posts:
LooseCanyon · 16/10/2025 16:46

Butchyrestingface · 16/10/2025 16:43

That would also be my concern.

i wouldn’t find the uplift “insulting” though. My mate got a 50p ph uplift about 12 years ago for taking on supervisory responsibilities in her role.

Which isn't far off what OP would be getting after tax per managed person.

Onegingerhead · 16/10/2025 16:44

I manage people of half of your current salary, but it hugely depends on the sector. I voted AIBU but appreciate the increase can be seen as an insult in your field of work

Butchyrestingface · 16/10/2025 16:43

Neemie · 16/10/2025 16:40

How much trouble are these 3 people going to be?!

I’d be more worried about the tax and actual take home pay.

That would also be my concern.

i wouldn’t find the uplift “insulting” though. My mate got a 50p ph uplift about 12 years ago for taking on supervisory responsibilities in her role.

Butchyrestingface · 16/10/2025 16:41

TogetherWeRise · 16/10/2025 16:37

@Willowtree5
Wow.
I'm a hospital ward Sister.
I am responsible for managing the care of 26 critically ill patients and a team of 20 staff of mixed skill levels, some of whom need huge levels of supervision to ensure high standards of care.
I am paid a salary of £47,810. London.
I would be crying with gratitude to be earning your current salary, let alone your proposed one.
What job do you do?

Something far more important than saving lives or caring for the sick, doubtless. And hell slap it into ye for not negotiating a better deal out of the bountiful fields of plenty that is the NHS.

Neemie · 16/10/2025 16:40

How much trouble are these 3 people going to be?!

I’d be more worried about the tax and actual take home pay.

defrazzled · 16/10/2025 16:37

😂

TogetherWeRise · 16/10/2025 16:37

@Willowtree5
Wow.
I'm a hospital ward Sister.
I am responsible for managing the care of 26 critically ill patients and a team of 20 staff of mixed skill levels, some of whom need huge levels of supervision to ensure high standards of care.
I am paid a salary of £47,810. London.
I would be crying with gratitude to be earning your current salary, let alone your proposed one.
What job do you do?

godmum56 · 16/10/2025 16:32

take it, don't take it but stop with the "insulted" flouncing.

Screwyoudavid · 16/10/2025 16:28

nellly · 16/10/2025 16:20

£20K is a fair compensation for the faff in my opinion but if you don’t think it’s worth to negotiate for more, or to lessen your existing workload or just say no thanks 🤷🏻‍♀️ don’t get hung up on someone who would do it for 20p elsewhere it’s not relevant

£20k at that level is circa an extra £680 a month. OP loses approx 12k in tax.

Not an insult OP but not something I would take on for that level of tax especially if you get help with nursery fees.

LooseCanyon · 16/10/2025 16:26

mrstjones · 16/10/2025 16:24

I manage 4 people and I'm on £28k. What do you do to earn over £100k with no line management responsibility?

I'm guessing lawyer or accountant. Or some kind of business role, like an internal management consultant, but without the people hassle.

plsdontsitthere · 16/10/2025 16:26

Neeroy · 16/10/2025 15:19

I took on the line management of 2 additional members of staff on top of my 1 already and got zero pay rise! I do find it hard to feel sorry for someone grumbling about a measly £20k pay rise.

In the kindest way, you should never accept this cheeky fuckery from your employer. If you suddenly asked to relinquish some of your responsibilities, they would absolutely impose a pay cut on you.

C8H10N4O2 · 16/10/2025 16:25

LooseCanyon · 16/10/2025 16:10

Why the rolleyes? OP clearly has skill that is valued, managing people doesn't need to be part of that.

Then she can turn it down and carry on as she is or turn it down and sod off somewhere else. What is ridiculous is the huffing about “insults” for an approximate 20% increase in salary with the only additional expectation being to manage three people.

Its the faux outrage which I suspect triggers the eyerolls. It certainly triggered one in me even if I didn’t add it to my post.

MiseryIn · 16/10/2025 16:25

Personally I think that’s a pretty hefty increase. However if you don’t want to do it don’t.

Greencactusgirl · 16/10/2025 16:25

I managed a 29 bedded hospital ward staff, as well as patients and their relatives - for far far less money. You definitely work in a different world! don’t accept it if you don’t want the extra responsibility

Boomer55 · 16/10/2025 16:25

It's not an insult. 🙄. Either accept it or not. No drama needed. 🤷‍♀️

Praying4Peace · 16/10/2025 16:24

sosorryimnotsorry · 16/10/2025 14:40

Nobody needs over £100k sorry YABU. I would expect anyone over £100k to be having huge responsibilities including managing people. You are just being greedy

This
I know people who are earning less than half of that who manage teams of at least ten people

HolyMacaroniBatman · 16/10/2025 16:24

It depends on what you want to do longer term. Lots of people struggle to get promotion to leadership roles because they don’t have line management experience. If you’ve already got this or aren’t looking for career progression at the moment then it sounds like the pay increase won’t be enough for you to want to do it.

If this gives you better career prospects longer term, £20k looks like a fair and reasonable uplift.

The pay band you’re in of just over £100k is one you don’t want to get stuck in because of the tax implications. But if you’re lucky enough that your pay and career are heading that way then the trick is to get promoted through it as quickly as possible.

mrstjones · 16/10/2025 16:24

I manage 4 people and I'm on £28k. What do you do to earn over £100k with no line management responsibility?

PeachySmile2 · 16/10/2025 16:24

It depends whether that increase is worth, to you, the ball ache of managing. Everyone is different. Could you delegate any of the ‘people stuff’ to a deputy or team leader? Personally managing people is my idea of hell, but I’d certainly do it for an extra £20k. Maybe even £10k.

outofofficeagain · 16/10/2025 16:24

You haven’t said what your bonus is. So the marginal tax rate might already not be an issue.

but no, it doesn’t sound like this role would play to your strengths

Andprettygood · 16/10/2025 16:24

SadOldLadyOfTheLowlands · 16/10/2025 16:20

Totally agree

Agreed.

This has car crash stamped all over it.

LooseCanyon · 16/10/2025 16:23

ilovesooty · 16/10/2025 16:21

I think it depends how you express it. There's nothing wrong with high self esteem but she's been scathing towards those doing what she seems to perceive as lesser jobs.

Really? Where?

Cantbelieveit888 · 16/10/2025 16:23

It's all relative.............no point in comparing the OP's current salary and the uplifts with someone else who is in retail at £45k managing 6 people. We don't know what line of business the OP is in.

On face value - she's currently earning just over £100k with no direct reports....for an additional £20k she will have 3 direct reports - I'm not sure if her job will also evolve (take on more responsibility ontop of managing 3 people)

In my eyes it doesn't seem worth it from only this info. Is this techincally a promotion? Will you have more leadship responsibilities? Will this mean you have more career progression - if the answer is yes maybe you have to weigh in the benefits of having a higher profile at work vs a smaller increase in pay. However if everything remains the same and you are just managing 3 people, where you'll have less time to do your own work, less flexibility, more mental work load....then maybe I wouldn't go for it.

Starwomanwaiting · 16/10/2025 16:22

LittleMy77 · 16/10/2025 14:29

At that salary you’ll lose all your personal allowance, so that + the increase in income will mean you’ll take a huge hit on net pay. Think I saw somewhere it was = to 62% tax

This, it’s not really worth it. I would say no

Thundertoast · 16/10/2025 16:21

I think realistically its an annoying amount because of pushing you into the next tax bracket, so I wouldnt do it on that basis. Especially if you hate management.

But then I managed 18 people on 32k and it caused me so much stress I swore off management for life....