To feel sad about my kids growing up?

59 replies

mariaaam · 15/10/2025 22:51

I have two kids, a girl and a boy, and for family reasons, it’s likely that they’ll be my only two. My daughter is starting school next year, and it honestly breaks my heart a little. I keep thinking about how quickly she’s growing up and how many moments are already behind us.

What really gets me is realising that there’s always a last: the last time she falls asleep in my arms, the last time I kiss a grazed knee, the last time she reaches for my hand without thinking, and you never really know when it’s the last until it’s gone. It’s such a bittersweet feeling. I’m so proud of her, but I also miss my little girl.

I love my son just as much, of course, but that sense of time slipping away hits me especially hard with my daughter. I guess because she’s older and her “lasts” will be sooner.

Has anyone else gone through this? How do you cope with that mix of nostalgia and sadness? Is it just part of motherhood, or do you think it’s something to talk through with a therapist?

OP posts:

thisisthebiscuit · 15/10/2025 23:18

Think of the ABBA song “Slipping Through My Fingers” - yes, I get how you’re feeling

cestlavielife · 15/10/2025 23:16

There are lots of firsts to come. Lots of stages.

Please do be happy they are growing up ....as the alternative to growing up is not doing so and much much sadder

Greenfinch7 · 15/10/2025 23:12

I understand, OP. It is very poignant.

Sometimes I also think about all the lasts with my parents, who are both dead now. If people didn't grow up, get old, and die, people couldn't be born- the cycle of life.

As long as these feelings don't interfere with your joy in the current iteration of your children, it seems very normal to me, actually.

rockstuckhardplace · 15/10/2025 23:11

To answer your questions without sarcasm: yes I've felt this, and yes I think it's normal. I think having our children pass milestones that we remember from our own childhoods also sharpens the sense of our own mortality.

How to cope? Enjoy life. There is pleasure at every stage. Mine are mid teens now and I've one who will have left home this time next year. It's sad but I'm excited to see how her adult life goes, and I don't forget to enjoy my own life too.

CaragianettE · 15/10/2025 23:05

Look on the bright side OP, maybe they’ll still be living with you at 40.

teacupzs · 15/10/2025 22:58

The younger generations will likely still be at home when they are 30 so you have loads of time

Fionaville · 15/10/2025 22:57

I have always been exactly the same way. I was heartbroken when they started school. I keep getting waves of sadness now they are both teenagers. I miss the little versions of them.

TheatricalLife · 15/10/2025 22:57

Mine are now 18 and 20 and I still get so much joy from watching their achievements. There are still "firsts" even as adults! Yes, they were cute when they were small, but it's equally as wonderful having them now.
Your two are still SO little. I really don't think you need to be feeling sad over their old age just yet!

LittleMonks11 · 15/10/2025 22:53

Good grief. Is this for real? She’s what? four or five?

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