To feel sad about my kids growing up?

I never really post things, but just to send you a hug and say I know. !
Oh my god, I understand…
it’s all heart breaking.
My twins ( my first, last and only) have been literally breaking my heart since they were born with all the Last times.

I mean it’s heaven, oh so much heaven, but oh God that’s what makes it so sad.

Google Nicole Nordeman ‘ Slow Down’ and cry like a baby.
And know you aren’t alone.

It will be ok, you’re doing an amazing job and you wouldn’t want it any other way. Just accept the grief for what it is

That’s lovely. I find the enjoyment of the young adult dc years a surprisingly nice stage. Not there yet, just uni stage but still.

Agree with all the amazing new firsts as they grown older even into adulthood
DD is now expecting her first baby and I’m reminiscing whilst enjoying all the new grandparent to be firsts!
Helping buy baby stuff and currently knitting

My DS is 16 and 6ft 3. He fell asleep with his head on my lap the other night.
He kisses me goodnight every evening and shouts “love you mum” every time he leaves the house.
My DD’s aren’t as affectionate as him but still hug me lots.

Either way, you’ll find amazing new ‘firsts’ as they get older and you have plenty of time for those.
Just enjoy each moment for what it is. You’ll ruin it if you’re constantly worrying about them getting older!

I love hanging out my older kids/teens much more fun than the early years .

I’ve felt twinges of this, but my oldest is now in the last year of primary school and I've realised that although they’ve had many ‘lasts’ they're still having lots of ‘firsts’ and I’m finding every age (even as they get older) interesting and lovely. I especially love the new depths of conversation we can have as they can really articulate themselves and have their own opinions. So I try not to dwell on the lasts and instead enjoy the now, because so far every age has had its pleasures and I feel more reassured that that will continue. So although I don't wish it away, I look forward with curiosity, to seeing them continue to grow and develop.

I think you need to try and reframe things a bit and not see growing up as a loss, but as an ongoing journey that still has lots of firsts to enjoy.

You have so many firsts ahead (mine are teens). Honestly it's still brilliant, just different.

I have loved each stage (not so keen on early baby days).

There's certain things gs that stick in your heart forever. Try to not dwell on what might be the last time,it might suck out joy. She'll still grab your hand unexpectedly - honest.

This song gets me every time. Every single time. That said, no, OP, no sadness when DD started school. Progression and new horizons.

It is a privilege to watch your children grow up.

Focus on enjoying each new stage, they are all wonderful.

My aim as a mother was to raise kind, useful adults.

I can completely understand. You have so many firsts to go though. My son is now an older teen and I can honestly say he is now my best friend as well as my son. It was heartbreaking to say goodbye to each stage but looking at the man he almost is nothing makes me prouder.

The title makes me uncomfortable. I know what you meant but it reads a bit like saying ‘to be sad my children are healthy and thriving’. Imagine your child not growing up or moving through the development stages. That is more sad and worrying, and the reality for many.

Anyway, I didn’t have much of that nostalgia. I embraced each exciting new stage and didn’t cry them at starting school. I don’t get that at all.

I did feel sad when they left for university because they were leaving home. I didn’t cry for days though, and thank goodness for tech that keeps us in touch. We are very close still.

I don’t think you need therapy. But do
you have a busy life otherwise? Do you work? Try and make your life not just about the children I guess.

I've been feeling a bit emotional recently about my ds.

He's doing his GCSEs this year, we're thinking about a levels and then Uni.

It hit me that n 3 years time I could be waving him off to university and 3 years ago feels like yesterday.

I also think there so many 'lasts' that you didn't realise was the 'last' at the time and that make mes feel so sad.

Personally i find the whole "heart broken they've started school" angle very odd.

Surely you are happy to see them grow & develop, make friends, see the people they will become etc etc.

Sure we all miss having loads of cuddles, but you are still the main figure in their lives and will always be there by their side.

You're over thinking it, watching them grow and develop is part of the fun.
Puppies, kittens and children grow. Love does too.

I feel sad about my youngest’s first birthday coming up, because it will be the last first birthday party I ever throw. But what I have found with my DS who’s 17 now, is that watching him turn into the gorgeous, funny, talented, smart young man he is now, has been the biggest privilege of my life. And sometimes, just downtimes, he still needs his mum and it feels even sweeter because he’s so big! I get kisses and cuddles from my young DD’s all the time, but on Sunday morning DS got into bed with me! Fair enough, he just scrolled through tiktok and didn’t say much but I could have cried! There are soo many nice moments to come, just wait

Yes I get this, although to be fair I was doing summersaults of joy when they started school!

Then found myself very sad at the end of prinary school.
And now I am staring down the barrel of them leaving school and feeling very melancholy.
I wouldn't ever say it to them though.

I think it's ok to be nostalgic about when they were little, when you're the absolute best thing in their world, but you do sound a bit extreme about it. Is everything else in your life ok? You and their dad in a good place? When my DS was little I used to worry about him getting older and leaving home but that was because I did not want it to be just DH and me.

I think growing old (for anyone) is a priviledge that sadly not everyone has. I embrace it, and I love seeing my 23 year old son blossom. OK, he's not that cute blonde curly haired gorgeous toddler, and hes taller and hairier, but I've honestly loved every age he's been. Plus I needn't worry about him flying the nest, the way things are in the world I reckon he'll still be with me when he's 30.
OP, just enjoy every second with your lovely kids, and look forward to the next stage.

Now..... if this post was about a dog getting older, I'm with you all the way! That, I do worry about.

I understand you can’t help your feelings but I find it quite worrying that so many people seem to regard it as some sort of personal tragedy that children grow up…

As a PP has said, the alternative is far far worse.

Also think about the implications of this attitude on growing children. You risk alienating them for going through entirely normal and natural processes. You’re sending a signal to them that it’s preferable to remain in a state of perpetual infantilisation.

You need to support them in becoming confident younf adults, not tie them to you forever.

No I don’t feel this. I find each new stage good even when they leave to study. I still have a young dc and her growing up is great too.

Sorry to be blunt but children grow up - its a fact of life. Its one thing to get a bit teary on their first day of primary or when they leave primary/second, graduate etc (I did - especially with my youngest), however it sounds like you are living in the past and are sad about the most minor things (knee grazes etc), which isnt healthy for you or your children.

I have two adult children and my youngest is in upper 6th, dont get me wrong I loved watching my children grow up and it was such a privilege but after 20 odd years of parenting I am excited for the next phase of my life (i.e having more time to myself). Travelling without being confined to school holidays or child friendly destinations, a bigger disposable income, no more ferrying children, catering to dietary requirements or spending my evenings helping with homework.

I’d be feeling far more sad at the state of the world and this country your LOs are going to be growing up and living in. That’s far more concerning than the small ‘lasts’ for me.

Unhealthy. You are not losing them at all. They are the same person but bigger.

You can't look at it like that, it's depressing. Instead embrace the "firsts" her first day at school. His first bike. Her first sleepover. His first shave. Watching them grow and their independence flourish is an honour.

Oh yes. Very much this. Goodbye pasta pesto! Farewell PE kit! Lego, begone!

I love my young adults so much. They're brilliant fun and they hardly ever wake me up in the middle of the night because they've been sick. 😆

Oh God, I'm not a very emotional person but I can't even listen to that song

I've never had these feelings OP (maybe I'm a robot!). Just enjoy you kids in the moment. Stop trying to look forward or back. Why worry about something you can't do anything about?