Asking partner not to eat food I’m severely allergic to ?

As someone with allergys, who knows people who have actually died from allergic reactions.
If my partner was allergic to something id never touch that food again, especially if it meant it could harm them.
MIL is being unreasonable.

I had a mil like this, our deep fat fryer broke ( back in early 90s ) hubby and I agreed it would be healthier not to replace. Week later mil was asking me why don't I allow hubby to have fryed food? I explained we both agreed we didn't want it, a few days later a deep fat fryer was given as a present to her poor controlled, deprived son. Your mil is seeing your allergy as you just being "fussy" and like a lot of people on here doesn't understand that for some people even being in contact with someone who ate fish hours before, it can still trigger a reaction which can be life threatening, why would anyone risk it?
Your hubby needs to tell her straight.

Same, we have children with different allergies and have to feed them the foods their siblings are allergic to as it's important to keep as many foods as possible in their diets

Not relevant with a MIL but I have a DS with a peanut allergy and the consultant advice is to feed our other DC nuts. They are at higher risk of developing an allergy too if they abstain, as the tendency towards allergy runs in families.
It’s not as simple as everyone avoiding the food sometimes.

She should back off and let you and your partner make your own decisions. And if she doesnt want to abide by them, she should go away!!

I would be the same as your partner if it was DH. It's no one else business.

As well as a teenage DC1 having a severe nut allergy where we now have to worry about relationshios starting, DC2 had an anaphylactic reaction that started at school and they ended up hospitalised. A cause hasnt been found so far so we have no idea why it happened but the consultant did say it could be exercise induced or an allergy to a chemical they came into contact with, he then listed all the rare and unusual things that can trigger anaphylaxis and the list was suprisingly long (and quite scary!)

Your DP sounds absolutely lovely

I would block her so she can’t message you again

You can’t tell him what to eat, but she can tell you to put your health at risk? This is so out of order

Your mil surely must understand the risks? If she doesn't then she needs to know the consequences it will cause you. By the way, this is not you being controlling, it sounds as if she is the one trying to do that. Stick to your guns. It's far too important.

When people are as controlling as the MIL they need to be kept an eye on. You can’t put it past them not to slip something into his food just to try and make a point. Take care of yourself and watch your back.

My general opinion is you MIL is a selfish bitch. She would be ok if you died just so her and her precious son could eat fish and chips. I would distance myself from her, she doesn't care about you!

Exactly. op has said over and over again it was his decision.

Op, I’m like your partner. I’d just rather cut out a food group if my partner was severely allergic. I just couldn’t be bothered with feeling stressed as to whether I’ve brushed my teeth thoroughly enough and having to sleep in the spare room etc. He sounds like a decent man and your MIL is being pathetic.

Which bit of the thread didn’t you read?

Let me get this straight.
MIL is complaining YOU are controlling, because he avoids fish to protect you from a severe allergy, which has prevented her from controlling his food choice?

🤯🤯🤯
Batshit crazy springs to mind.

I think you are over reacting, he is not with you. As long as not eating when you are there. It’s unfair to expect them not to eat at all.

It’s your mother in law who is controlling and needs to get a grip.

@mermaidproblems you have a lovely husband.

You need to go to Specsavers! 🙈

Would be a deal breaker for me. Sorry to be blunt but I like my food and my only allergy is Brazil nuts. I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who is allergic to fish and chips or peanuts!

Well she already explained why it is a problem and people have different allergy levels so just because your dad was ok doesn't mean everyone else will be. Not sure why people are so determined to make out OP as the bad person here when his mum is a crack pot!

Did you read anything before you posted this? HE decided he wasn't going to do it due to a previous reaction and cross contamination.

She literally explained it above your question 🙄

It astounds me how ill informed people are about severe allergies. No you are not being controlling or unreasonable. I have kids with allergies and it is massively challenging at times. I have had particular issues with the older generation of our family. They seem to just think its all in our head.

Ultimately, if this has happened before when he's eaten these things away from you then it's too risky. It's more of a red flag/weird to me that he's a grown adult and hasn't told his mum where to go! You're not "telling him" he's made a grown up and sensible decision based on a past incident that put the person he loves at risk.
Ultimately, he can eat those things, he doesn't because he loves you and HE doesn't want to eat the due to your allergies. Why hasn't he put her in her place. Is he saying "aah I'd love to mum but her indoors won't let me"? I hope he's not.