Asking partner not to eat food I’m severely allergic to ?

I'm confused.

You say you'd never ask him to choose what food to eat and you then say you've asked him not to eat certain foods 🙄

I think your MIL sounds batshit but if course you've got no idea what line DH is feeding her

If he REALLY wants to eat a particular food perhaps he could stay at MILs for 24 hours afterwards? Maybe a couple of times a year?

She needs to fuck off

His mum is out of order. Does your h know she messaged you?

She's talking nonsense. I'm vegetarian. I have a meeting about every 6 weeks with a group of friends and they all have fish and chips, I have an alternative with chips.
Nobody cares - we have great fun catching up.

Some of these replies honestly!

If my partner or child had such a severe allergy that could be triggered by cross contamination hours after I’d eaten it of course I wouldn’t bloody eat it again.

It sounds as though his mother wants to control him!

Apart from the fact you are not unreasonable at all, it is pretty rich for someone who wants to impose the same food order on another person to call someone else controlling!

I guess you can emphasise that it’s your partner’s decision, but it’s pretty horrible that your MIL cares so little for your wellbeing. I wouldn’t accept anything to eat in her house OP.

How your MiL reacts is pretty scary too. But she chooses to.

If you were mate of mine with that attitude, we wouldn’t be friends for long!

Your post title literally said you've asked him not not eat these foods. Then you've pretended he's actually decided all by himself because he's scared for you.

Either way fine, but you have to at least own up to what you want really

It's a bit of a tough one really, he should obviously be careful around you but at the same time, he doesn't have an allergy so him never being able to eat the thing again seems a bit unfair, especially if he likes it.

Is there a time frame where he can eat something and then the effects wear off before he interacts with you?

If someone told me i could never eat curry again because you're allergic, id be having a good old think about whether i could tolerate that anymore or not.

I would happily never eat a particular type of food again if it meant sparing a loved one even a 0.1% risk of a reaction. Who cares if he can’t eat fish again? Eating fish isn’t a life and death issue. An allergic reaction is

You'd think she'd be proud of having such a considerate son but there you go.

Agreed. OP, your MIL is an interfering cowbag who has decided her demands on your partner eating the same meal as her are more important than your health. Your partner needs to have a serious talk with her about the implications of him eating fish has on your health

It's possible I've led a (long and) very sheltered life but I have no idea what red pudding is.

Now I want some, whatever it is.

He needs to go back to his mother and tell her never to message you like that again and it was totally unacceptable. Did he?

I don't think it's a big deal. He is keeping you safe. I have a friend with a severe dairy allergy, I would serve dairy knowing she's coming and I dont give DC dairy if she is coming in case they touch her. She's just a friend I would definitely do it for a partner. MIL needs to just be ignored, she can't tell him what to eat anymore than he decides what he wont eat.

MIL needs to stay out of it, DP can make his own decisions and if he has an issue he can tell you. The impact on her of eating what she wants to eat but not having everyone eat the same 🙄 is so minor it doesn’t even factor. It’s not as if this is over some small preference, it’s a serious allergy.

It is very inappropriate of her to message you about this, I would either ignore it or reply saying ‘I am not sure why you have messaged me about what DP chooses to eat. He is an adult. I don’t tell him what he should eat. Do you?’

His mother is being a dick - she’s the one trying to control what he eats, not you. He has made the choice to keep you safe and that’s the right decision. My DN has a boyfriend who is very allergic to nuts so if she wants some (very rarely) she doesn’t eat them or foods they might be in for a few days before they meet.

True. But I’m sure he knows what he can eat and could work something out. No need for MIL to bother OP with it!

You're saying it's his choice to never ever eat fish even if you're in a different city? So tell his Mum that. Say he's the one that doesn't want to and it's fine by you if he does.

Totally! When I saw the headline I feared the worst… but not him, the crazy MIL…

Does everyone remember the DH who deliberately ate peanuts and fed them to the child when the mother was severely allergic? I think this was among a litany of other horrificness… #wherearetheynow

Yours is a keeper OP, despite his mother’s influence x

Nope. She’s saying that he has chosen never to eat fish again because he has seen what happens when he does and then kisses her later. And he’s nice enough not to want to kill her. FFS.

Your MIL sounds like a dick to make a fuss about this and to call you controlling over something that could kill you is awful.