Who is in charge of this child?

My DS stayed alone in a Premier Inn when he was 3 mohths short of his 18th. Another poster has said the age has been raised, though.

You're making a massive deal out of this. 17 year olds go places on their own all the time. She is probably more mature than your 19 year old (if most 19 year old boys are anything to go on).

A grey area for 16 and 17yr olds. Though not adults, they can marry - in Scotland without parental consent, though in England I think they may need consent - so two 16 yr olds could live together without adult supervision. Adult input would just be things like signing forms on their behalf. I can't see that you would be held responsible for her.

When you say she is a child and you are responsible for her in reply to your DS saying they would do their own thing do you mean you won’t let them?

Mine was 16 when she did her first breaks alone staying in premier inn. I believe they have raised the age to 18 now though.

Agreed you need to discuss this with her parents and manage their expectations of their daughters care whilst with you.

At the end of the day - yes - she’s 17 but she’s not legally an adult and yes your son is 19 but doesn’t have the same life experience as you and DP

and if DS and gf kick back against this the. The invitation should be rescinded

We had this with DS 17 as his uni was over 4 hours away by train so getting there by 9 am with no overnight stop wasn't possible - he had to stop with relative for the night nearer and then take a train up for last bit.

Where to? Hotels and airbnbs don’t take under 18s do they? I was going to let my 17yo and a friend stay in a hotel for an open day and couldn’t.

I would feel somewhat responsible for her myself. If your DS insists, I would let it go and tell them another time that you all need to know where each other is on holiday for safety reasons. No harm trying to find out if she/they are on contraceptives too

16 year post GCSE with DD2 invited we met the parents - but we also had money to sort - and it was just a friend.

17 in UK - well she gilka competent - no law or behavior that may be different - I'd want exchange of contact deatils but at 17 DH and DD1 were navigating for offer days by themselves across the UK. Last UK hoilday they all came 16-19 and we told them they could go off by themselves.

So I'm not sure an adult needs to be in charge of her as such.

Her parents are responsible for her. Talk to them. They may be happier with her making her own decisions and contacting them if there are issues over you having any authority or responsibility (other than, of course, what comes with her use of lodging/transport/etc. that you provide, just as you do with your adult son). And if they know your son, may be happier with him having responsibility over you having any.

Substitute similar risky behaviour- nightclub, lift with a mate they’ve just met etc.

She doesn’t really need a ‘responsible adult’ for this.

Do you just like making a point?

He’s right. She’s almost an adult and she’s with an adult (your son). They don’t need mummy also looking after her.

She is responsible for herself. Back off

I would probably insist I had the phone number for one of her parents in case there was some kind of emergency, but otherwise I'd leave the 2 of them to their own devices.

I first went away without my parents (or any other adults) when I was 16, so a lot younger (and a longer time ago when we didn't have mobiles etc).

At 17 I went on holiday without any “adults”, more than once and once with my 20 year old boyfriend.

I didn’t need anyone to be responsible for me on account I was old enough to move out and live on my own.

But if you want to draw a bright line at 18, your son can be responsible for her as he is an adult and she’s his guest.

My daughter went away for short breaks on her own when she was 17.

Ask her parents? It should be up to them really.

Sounds like a weird conversation to me!

He's right. He's the adult.

Children's social care don't deal with over 16s unless a previously looked after child.
This is false. A 'child' under the age of 18 can be referred to children's social care. They can self refer if they want to and ask for support with a number of social care issues, even if they haven't previously been open.

I wouldnt label it as one of you being responsible for her or that she is a child. I would expect son and gf to be responsible as I would if they are out and about at home. Eg keep in touch, travel home safely together in organised lift/taxi if walking not safe. Not be drunk. Socialise with us a bit, maybe dinner altogether.

I expect they are nice, sensible enough teens or you wouldn't want them coming. Calling her a child will get their back up.

Why is she responsible for her rather than her son? They are both legally adults.

I think the son was just making a point rather than being creepy tbh.

Plenty of 17 year olds go abroad without a parent. I did. No one needs to be responsible for her, but your DS is right. If anyone has to be responsible for her it can be him.